I just want to say Thank You to TLC. When I thought Sister Wives couldn't sink much lower, these two episodes proved to me, oh yeah, they could.
Now, in my book, half hour episodes are OK if the 'reality' show is new. I would even call it necessary sometimes. Think about a full hour of Honey Boo Boo farting, burping, and spitting while eating 'sketti and scratching their behinds.
But two half hour shows for Sister Wives? No, no, no, no, and Hell no.
That tells me F8P has reached the bottom and is now dredging up episode situations from the deepest cesspool pit they can find.
OK, maybe I'm being a bit harsh, but I'm still upset about being billed $1.89 for each half hour show. That's the price for the HOUR show. I guess I will never get over this....DAMN YOU AMAZON SEASON PASS!!!!
There. I feel much better now.
So let's take a pictorial dance (on double my friggin' dime thanks to Amazon) through episodes 3 and 4 of Sister Wives Season 7...
Lock and Load and get ready to Snark!
Episode 3 'The Big Decision'
This is what Kody looks like when he's talking on the phone.
Notice how he balances his extra huge noggin between his index fingers...wait, maybe he's trying to keep his brain cells from escaping....
They must have been through a tough day of filming cuz none of the Browns look very happy.
Meri looks like she has checked out (she was twiddling her thumbs) while Robyn and Kody look like they just saw Honey Boo Boo and Mama June walk through the door.
Robyn making one of those faces she should NEVER, EVER make again...
Maybe her housekeeper/nanny just gave her two weeks notice...
You got to give Janelle props for climbing this rock wall.
Good grief. Either this construction company has weird rules for personal grooming, or these two guys are brothers from different mothers...
Ah, Meri. Ya think you might be a little more enthusiastic meeting your former kindergarten friend?
How about a hug using BOTH ARMS for goodness sakes!
The only question I have is...
Where's Mindy?
Ladies, perhaps a salad would have been just as tasty?
Just saying....
Poor Mariah having to carry those boxes. It looks like Meri's thighs are smaller. Has she been dieting and not telling us?
Wait, I think I saw Mindy hiding around the corner...
I hate to say this but I don't think Robyn is preggers.
I think she is in need of a really good girdle. Do you see how lopsided her stomach is? She needs to strengthen those stomach muscles!
Here's some advice, Robyn...
Don't tug on Superman's cape.
Don't spit into the wind.
Don't pull the mask off the old Lone Ranger, and don't interrupt Kody Brown, bitch!
Stan and Amy brought yet another person into this investment thing with MSWC. (the lady in black)
She does seem to look sad about investing money in the Browns hobby business. My money's on her being the actual venture capitalist. She looks like she wants out of there, NOW!
Episode 4 'Vegas Surprise'
I have only one question to ask about this ridiculous episode featuring yet another, useless party.
Where's Mindy?
Robyn had to help Kody read Maddie's scholarship letter from the Utah State University.
King Sol seemed unimpressed.
Family prayer time just before showtime....
Oh please, don't let the MSWC server go down again! Oh please, don't let the MSWC server go down again!
Hey Robyn, who's the blonde smiling at ya?
Garrison will start looking for Mindy as soon as he finishes his snack.
Maybe....
I think....
The camera crew on the hunt to find Mindy....
I'm still thinking....
It took 20 takes to get the wind blowing Kody's hair just so...
Gabriel will start looking for Mindy as soon as brother Logan puts on the funny hat...
Wait...Is that her HEAD????
Awesome! Soo happy!
ReplyDeleteYou did a great job!
Two things i would have added are:
The shot of Robyn "comforting" her oldest daughter who is crying on the couch.
The shot/shots of Robyns face when she is whispering to the public about how she wants a baby.
That's just me though.
Love the shot of Robyn's face with a smiling Mindy in the background.
Anyone know how many epiosdes are in this season?
Who is Mindy?
ReplyDeleteA relative of theirs who is/was Robyn's latest nanny. I know this because I read through a lot of their tweets (snark, snark). Mindy's in a few of the shots above.
DeleteI thought that was a reference to young Meri's looking like Mork, of Mork & Mindy. Planet Ork could be similar enough to Planet Kody. And, in the final picture, this Mindy's wearing a floppy hat, like Mindy the character did.
Deleteno, it's Mindy Jessop, Robyn's relative. She's around A LOT, and been known to tweet about taking care of Robyn's kids and cleaning her toilet.
DeleteSisterwives show boring!! Now I do enjoy the clip on TLC website Danielle's Tough Questions, they are eating a meal and Robyn and Christine's table manners make them look like they haven't eaten in months. Christine grabs that drink so awkwardly- just weird.
ReplyDeleteI wandered over there to have a gander myself and OMG. Hilarious.
DeleteI can't find that clip, can you post a link please?! :)
DeleteOMG - I haven't watched that clip in eons. On the show, they have a TH where Robyn's bitching and moaning bout how food makes her sick and Christine was being all passive aggressive saying OOOOH I wouldn't want to be THIN if I couldn't ENJOY my FOOD. (yeah right you just keep saying that Christine...) Robyn looks like she's going to spew any second.
DeleteNothing has changed since Robyn being pregnant with Sol..she still looks like she could spew any minute...
DeleteThat was the day they had been to Meri;s gym and trainer (the first trainer) so Kody asks Meri at the same buffet with Daniel if the trainer talked to her about soda and she replied testy..not today!
Deleteseason 3 episode 6 the wives diet woes..christine was face down in a soda and robyn holds her silverware like a neanderthal ..and that's being kind to neanderthals. They eat like its the last scrap on the table..did Kody watch her eat before he married her? her table skills were no better in San Diego on their honeymoon. But, at least the episodes were more believable then.
DeleteCJ perhaps Kody is just speaking on the phone...but most likely he is receiving signals from his predecessors from their inherited planets.
ReplyDeleteI've just discovered something. We all know that mswc has crappy...crap. The watches remind me of something you see at flea markets. Well I managed to zoom in in the brand..it's called Geneva. Here you see the rose-gold featured in their site compared to the amazon RETAIL price...
ReplyDeletehttp://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B004YM2FV2/ref=redir_mdp_mobile
I
Well if the VCs gave them the full $2.5 million Kody asked for, those watches would have been Tolexes....NOT!!
DeleteOops... Tolexes = Rolexes. Damn autocorrect...
DeleteNope, auto correct was right. The kodettes would sell Tolexes! Lol
DeleteOMG! The watch is like $7 and free shipping from Amazon! That's hysterical! The Klowns are so good at research!!!! Maybe they can start selling cassette tapes next?
DeleteThanks CJ for the snarky captions! My only question is why do you have to pay to watch this nonsense. The only episode I ever had to pay for was The Honeymoon Special. I must have missed it's original airing.
ReplyDeleteTLC should pay you to watch their miserable show. Without this blog,so many of us would just say no!!
they all look so unhappy! Robyn's face looks like she is miserable. I know it must be tough CJ to extract a gem from a turd but you did it. Both episodes were painful to watch and i'm sure difficult to review. The whole storyline of going back to Utah to fix a house or see an old friend, or Meri's house where she grew up. Why? Is life in the cul de sac that boring? Love this blog..I think the producers are trying to address issues raised here..no doubt
ReplyDeleteI still can't figure out why Robbin needs a nanny/housekeeper. she only has one child at home all day, the others are in school all day.
ReplyDeleteGood point. Last night I read an old blog post of hers on the TLC website (I must be a glutton for punishment), and in it she claims that she loved staying home when her first three children were born, and it was hard when she HAD TO go "back to work" when Solomon was six weeks old. She also gives the double message that she would "love to" stay home with her kids all the time, but she digs being a "working woman." What a load of Brown bullshit.
DeleteBack to work". LOL. Where?! She must think we are idiots
DeleteI remember reading that blog post and thinking that all her talk of wanting another baby was B.S. She gave Kody a son to solidify her place in the family, I don't think she wants anymore...she likes being a "career" woman (even if it is only in her mind).
DeleteI remember reading that blog post months ago and so many people called her out on that. Filming for the show isn't a real 9-5 job. She is ridiculous. I still cannot figure out why she needs to much help with her "hobby" business. However, remember how she interacted with her kids in season 1, it was clear she could not handle the 3 kids she already had. I highly doubt things have gotten better with the addition of Sol. Since the other wives are not helping her out with childcare, I imagine she really doesn't want another baby to take care of.
DeleteI thought my eyes were going to roll out of my head when I saw Kody wearing that crown. He looks like the creepy Burger King mascot, although I have more confidence in Kody being a "king of burgers" than the "king of his family." Come to think of it, all of the adults appear to have spent quite a lot of time with fast food . . . hmm.
ReplyDeleteAlso, holy guacamole, what a stupid party idea. LAS VEGAS themed? Way to go, instead of a crappy costume party, why not actually go out someplace that has neon lights, showgirls, etc. (And really, did Christine actually suggest it would be "cute" to dress up the young'uns as showgirls? Or was that just headdresses? Either way, somewhat strange coming from this "modest" family).
I mean honestly, they should have just called it what it actually was . . . a "Kostume Kiss-Kody's-A$$ Party."
On that subject, does anyone else find it pathetic that Kody's ego is so fragile that his wives felt they needed to have a special party to reassure him that he's their leader? It seems to me he was doing just fine throwing himself his own pity party. What a sad, pathetic little man to get upset over being at the head of a table, at not being able to rule his family like a despot.
It seems to me that Kody must not have much experience actually being in charge or a manager of some sort, because if he did, he would surely have to see that being "the boss" requires that you work harder and longer than the rest of your employees (or family), you make the hard decisions, and you dole out assignments or tasks as necessary. A good leader doesn't laze around and then take credit for others' accomplishments, or eat from their family's plates, or act like a victim all the time. A good leader faces problems head-on, solves them (yes, ALONE if necessary!), and moves on to the next thing without waiting for an a**kissing or throwing himself a pity party when the decision is unpopular.
Kody, YOU signed up for a plural marriage, which is different than a traditional, two-party marriage. Your family will naturally have to be run differently, and you won't always reach a consensus between all parties. You can either step up to the plate and act like a leader (instead of whining about it and waiting for it to be handed to you), or you can stop whining about it and let your family solve problems collectively. You can't have the latter and then just be declared "king" magically . . . OH WAIT, yes you can, because your wives are idiots who worship an ineffective, balding, pot-bellied, beady-eyed, whining little man-baby who insists on his entire family's lives revolving around him and his poor fragile ego.
I don't think it's his ego (which is SO not fragile) as much as an attempt to find story lines.
DeleteSorry DJ but I have to disagree. I think he puts on a "good show," but probably often feels insecure. Not that I think he ever takes the time to reflect on WHY he feels that way, if it's justified, or what he could do to change his situation, mind you. I think there is a distinct pattern with ALL of the adults in this family playing the victim, either because they genuinely feel that way or because they know they eventually get rewarded for it (either attention, benefits, or a big stupid party). Unfortunately, like the boy who cried wolf, these behaviors become less effective over time for the wives (because they are competing for Kody's attention), but EXTREMELY effective for Kody, because the wives compete to see who can console him. A sad cycle and I would not be surprised if Kody truly does view himself as a victim much of the time simply because it's become a habit for him.
DeleteI agree Kody has a huge but fragIle ego. I think that's the whole reason he is into polygamy to build his fragile ego, so other guys think that "he's the Man", with a giant man card. Remeber back when he was back in Wy how his high school classmates said they thought he might be gay, but also it wasn't a surprise that Kody would be the guy with multiple wives as he liked to the the center of attention.
DeleteI kinda always thought Kody was into polygamy to use as a shield to hide his true self. I have always thought he was gay and just could admit it because of his religious beliefs. I seriously think this true!
Deletedj
Meri's thigh is not smaller..Mariah's large ass is in the way...
ReplyDeleteI disagree, I think Mariah is bigger than her mom now. She tweeted a picture recently where she looked very big (I think part of it was a bad choice in tight, patterned pants). But still, I can't believe the difference in her from the first season to now.
DeleteHeard of the Freshman 15? Mariah got the freshman 150!
Deletei am very into pinterest (don't judge). mariah pins mostly unrealistic workouts and fattening recipes. not a good combo, i think. on the other hand, i have repinned some of her stuff and a few of the workouts are actually good, provided you DO them, which i doubt she does.
Delete"mariah pins mostly unrealistic workouts and fattening recipes."
DeleteShe has learned from her parents, hasn't she? All talk, no walk. Nothing real, take the easy way and blame anything and everything but yourself. Perhaps it is the Janelle the Hutt weight loss system?
Mariah is clearly very unhappy about something. Happy, active 18/19 year old girls don't gain that much weight in 3 years. She is unrecognizable from season 1. Her and Meri have both gained so much weight since the show started. What the heck is the problem? Her personality is less than endearing too. I bet if Meri cut the apron strings Mariah might find some inner peace getting away from all the drama.
DeleteI feel so bad for her....she can't feel good at that weight! She was so pretty in season 1.
DeleteI would guess that Mariah is Meri's confidant and sounding board about the other wives and all of the conflict that has gone on. In Lehi it was close quarters and she probably heard a lot and in Vegas they were farther away from the chaos. I think Mariah has been her only source of loyalty and confidence. I think she has unloaded a lot on Mariah. Meri described Mariah leaving for college as like a death, so that tells you their relationship was or is very co dependant.
DeleteThe contractors look like they're trying to be 2/3s of the Pep Boys.
ReplyDeleteManny, Moe...where's Jack???
and CLASSIC on that Robyn Face. OMG. she's starting to remind me of Witchy Poo from the HR Pufinstuf show, or (alternately) the Lady Elaine puppet on Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood. Only they both had more personality.
Also, contractors (real ones) would not be wearing white shirts. Not if they were going to be doing the hands on work.
DeleteBut they would if they were hired for the gig and TLC tossed them the shirts before the cameras were turned on.
Wasn't Meri's late sister (the one who succumbed to colon cancer) married to a Kunz?
DeleteDon't know, but if so, possibly related to the Joe Darger...... Joe's first cousins are Kunz. (Marleen Barlow of CP was a Kunz...she is his cousin)
DeleteI just looked up her obit...her sister Teresa was 'married' to Jeffery Kunz of Rocky Ridge.
DeleteHa! CJ I now have that line from Lady Gaga's song "Applause" in my head:
Delete"...one second I'm a Kunz, then suddenly the Kunz is me..."
If course Robyn is the queen of hearts.
ReplyDeleteTHANK YOU CJ FOR POSTING SOME GREAT SCREENCAPS! I'M NOT WORTHY!!!! :)
ReplyDeleteYou are very very welcome! My pleasure!
DeleteI wanted to ask; I tried googling this. But does anyone remember what group the Darger's daughter married into? Was it the Centennial group? Or the Kingston group? The Darger's blog seemed to be down the other day when I was trying to check it.
ReplyDeleteCJ: Great review as always!
Thanks Sisi!
DeleteOff the top of my head....Amanda Matthews "Darger" married Rob Knudson of the Centennial Park group. Rob's sister is Teresa Cawley, 3rd wife of Mike Cawley. Mike Cawley's daughter Rose Marie was featured in Polygamy USA because she didn't get a revelation who she should marry so she turned herself in to the CP Brethren to have them decide who should be her husband. Last report was she did get married, but I don't know if it was a placement with an exisiting family or as a first wife.
I apologize for being so wordy!
I've been so curious about Rose Marie, and have been trying to figure out who she married. There are a limited number of surnames in their group, so I've been trying to look up the most obvious ones, with no luck. Ezra and Tiffany are married, and according to photos on FB, Tiffany is pregnant.
DeleteI just read all of that and one word kept going through my mind: CULT!
DeleteGeez, that is some scary sounding stuff!
I really with there'd been another season of Polygamy U.S.A., there was some interesting families on that show. I still worry about Rose Mari and her mothers.
DeleteI remember on the Darger's special on TLC, the Darger parents seemed less than happy that there daughter was marrying into Centennial Park group.
You're awesome, thanks! I was pretty sure it was the Centennial group, but I didn't know the connection to the Crawley's. So interesting, so many connections in the world of polygamy.
DeleteIn trying to find that info I saw that Vicki and Valerie are identical twins. So that would make their children with Joe genetically indistinguishable, right? So they would be legally half siblings, but genetically full siblings?
I saw on facebook rose marie is rose marie knudson which I believe is amana dargers husbands last name
DeleteRead more about Rose Marie getting married here...
Deletehttp://cynicaljinxwelcome.blogspot.com/2015/01/sister-wives-live-tweet-party-for-11815.html?showComment=1421700848235#c7650225197424466141
I love the family prayer shot- I missed that last week. They could be praying for the server, praying they don't face immediate cancellation, or more likely they are all praying the episode doesn't catch them in lies!
ReplyDeleteBEST line of the review......."How about a hug using BOTH ARMS for goodness sakes! "
ReplyDeleteReally, Meri ??
You haven't seen this bestest, bestest friend since you and she were 5......and all you can muster up is a half-assed, one-armed hug ???
And your pride and joy Mariah didn't seem too enthused either.
CJ, Great job..again !!!
Sorry this is off topic but......
DeleteI want to see Janelle on The Biggest Loser! Oh she would cozy up to Bob and Dolvett...but Jillian would get a hold of her and kick her big old butt! Can you see her telling Jillian that she only eats 1500 calories a day? Or how about crying when she's four feet off the ground on the rock wall? Oh ya, I would pay good money to watch that!
And wouldn't good old Jillian have a field day with "I'm faux married to my ex-husband's sister's husband at the same time as she is. And my mother 'married' my husband's father so my husband is also my stepbrother"
Now there is ratings gold!
I would double the good money you would pay to see that, for my own idea. I want TLC to film the wives being told their is a new wife, who is coming into the family with 8 kids. I want the camera to film it when Meri is told the 9 of them will be living in her McMansion. Annnnd then Kate Gosselin walks in and is introduced as wife #5. Anyone else care to donate to my cause ;-) Ratings Platinum...ICONIC Platinum!
DeleteThose are both great ideas! And, if Kate won't do it, I know someone who DEFINITELY WILL.... Octomom!! Lol!
DeleteLove the pics in the review. I noticed that in the arms-folded prayer photo Kody appears to be looking at Janelle. Maybe he's trying to figure out why she's not on her knees with arms folded? The other that caught my eye was the goofy look on Robyn's face (if I stop typing right there, I've pretty much described every shot she's in) when looking over K's shoulder at Maddie's scholarship letter: FAKE! It's the "Okay, now I'm supposed to look serious and interested, as if this is a totally random and surprising family moment."
ReplyDeleteAnd "...don't interrupt Kody Brown, bitch!" Just--thank you. :)
I did not see the prayer shot since I got bored and turned off the costume party. Loved seeing the picture, it was enough. :-) Thanks for a great review.
ReplyDeleteAll of this drama and strife over MSWC, five adults not being able to agree, or bringing personal grudges into business decisions, is just a cover and facade for a family that never had strong structural foundations
ReplyDeleteto begin with. I would imagine bringing Robyn and money into this family only served to bring more issues to argue and disagree on. Many of the older episodes have the "i deserve" this and that. These new episodes are a let down from the last season commitment ceremony. All of the adults seem more unhappy and Kody burnt out. The kid's thank goodness are moving on to college, I hope the younger children are able to have that choice when it is there turn, or there will be recriminations.
It was a BAD idea to add a fourth wife after 20 years. Of course Kody was going to go gaga over new meat after 20 years of the same old wives, causing lots of jealousy. Not to mention a fourth wife with an ex-husband and 3 kids of her own and credit issues. Meanwhile the existing 3 wives already had 13 kids between them in a house filled to capacity. Is it any wonder that the Brown's church denied Kody's first request to marry Robyn because they were not financially secure and then later recanted for the show?
DeleteI believe that the ego of King Kody is such that he derives more pleasure out of the jealousy and the cat fighting than the extra new meat. He is not the kind of of man who seems to be all up into the new meat, if you know what I mean.
Deleteshe took a jab at monogamist and christians..nice..Meri sure looks down trodden ..her tweets are still like she is in relationship crisis..which relationship? Kody? Robyn?
ReplyDeleteQuestion for CJ...
ReplyDeleteHave you ever considered writing a book on Plygs with a reference to the worst of the bunch, and focused on a comparison between them and the newer "progressive" types....such as the Dargers, Browns and Williams?
You have excellent writing skills, tons of knowledge and familiarity with research of Polygamy, plus a great eye for detail. I believe that you could write a marketable book that would be relevant and interesting.....Especially for TV fans of the shows.
And as you mentioned above, the public interest in Plygs may be reaching saturation point.
If true, the Browns, unfortunately, have contributed much to polygamy now almost being trivialized.
However, if TLC can put effort into working the Brady Bunch show differently than the embarrassment that Kodyworld has evolved into, there may still be a fan base intact for Plyg interest.
A book? As the saying goes , "Strike while the iron is hot!"
Why didn't they show Mariah's college experience??
ReplyDeleteI think Meri said they are including that in the next episode?
DeleteJanelle was 265 in 2011 (The Wives Diet Woes when they were weighed together. Now almost 3 years later, she's lost 29 pounds. Not very impressive, Trainer Sean.
ReplyDeleteI disagree! She is 29 pounds lighter but she is also more active, more confidant, more flexible, and more energetic. This focus on the scale is so harmful to the cause of fitness!
DeleteShe is still huge and her health has to be in danger from her morbid obesity. 29 pounds for a woman of her size is nothing. And it took her almost three years to do it? Absurd.
DeleteThat's a little over 9 pounds a year. WTF! I can lose 9 pounds a year just drinking more water.
DeleteI respectfully disagree as well. Janelle lives with a million kids and food is everywhere. I think she is doing a great job. Pounds lost is pounds lost!
DeleteUnless there is something medically wrong, there is no way she would have only lost 35 lbs in THREE YEARS working out as much as she claims and only eating 1,500 calories a day. On the TLC show, "My 600 lb Life", the doctor always puts them on diets before surgery and they usually lose that in a month without exercise. Of course that doctor always says "the scales don't lie," whereas sycophantic trainer Sean says "ignore the scale!!" Props on trying, but they need to quit making such a mountain out of a mole hill.
DeleteI re-watched the Wives Diet Woes ep and I stand corrected, janelle weighed in at 271.
DeleteThat said, Sean is wrong when he says "Ignore the scale". My own philosophy on weighing/measuring is that one shouldn't be hopping on that scale every day. Maybe once a week, same time/day each week. In my own experience, if I ignore the scale completely, then I tend to eat too much.
I think Janelle was jumping on the scale every day, when once a week should suffice. That's enough time in between weigh-ins to see a difference, and to be able to make corrections/modifications in your caloric intake.
And she doesn't have "a million kids" anymore. Two of them have left (Logan and Maddie), Hunter will be leaving soon, Garrison the year after, and they are all teens except for Savannah. If you think about it...who really needs to have junk food in the house? Who is healthier for eating Fritos and potato chips? All her kids, except for Hunter and Logan, can stand to lose some weight (I'm including Maddie in this, as she's noticeably heavier this season, even though she's on her own now). Sorry, not buying the "million kids and food is everywhere" excuse.
Poor Mykelti. I by no means think most high school relationships should be as serious as they are, BUT, how much do you want to bet Kody's talk helped speed along it's end?
ReplyDeleteI wonder how often the kids suffer the consequences for their parents televised dumbassery?
I hope the kids see that they could have so much more.
As a resident of SF, I think Mykelti's plan is darling...unlikely as hell, but just precious. I know millionaires who don't have 'nice' houses in the city, much less 28 year old single mothers. I don't think it will hurt any of these kids to dream big though, I'm glad they want more than their mothers got.
^^I thought the same thing about the "niiiiccceee" house in SF. But I really liked Mykelti's plan. I'm sad that she got type-cast as "wild child." I hope she breaks free, runs, writes a tell-all, then uses that $$ to rent a nice loft in SF!
DeleteYa I had to chuckle a bit too. I think the current median price of houses in the Bay Area right now is somewhere around $700k, and the average rent for a 1 bedroom apt in the city is in the $2500-$3000 range. The housing market here is insane to say the least! But dream on Mykelti.
Delete