Before I start my latest review, I just have a few questions to ask...you know, to get y'all into the spirit of this latest episode from the Kody and Robyn Show featuring a guest sister wife performance by Christine Brown with the other Two Original Wives in short cameos sitting on the interview couch.
First Question....
Who qualifies as a certifiable, 21st Century Neanderthal?
Second Question...
Who is a Narcissistic Jerk?
Third and Final Question....
Who (besides Robyn Brown) makes watching Sister Wives a cruel and unusual punishment which, in turn, should make it a 3rd Class Felony, just like Polygamy?
Well, the answers are very simple...it's that Narcissistic Jerk of a Neanderthal, KODY BROWN!!
 |
| A face only a mother and four emotionally needy women could love |
And Mr. Robyn Brown does not disappoint in this episode...nosiree...
So let's get started, shall we?
Of course, the episode has got to begin with the continuing saga of Kody adopting Robyn's children. Kody doesn't mention this, but two of Robyn's kids are already teenagers. If Kody and Robyn don't act fast, Dayton and Aurora will be old enough to vote, and that would take the wind out of this poorly thought out storyline straight out of Big Love.
Yep, and in eight minutes we get to see just how desperate Kody and Robyn are. Robyn is so "overcome" by desperation, she even has a well placed panic attack on the interview couch.
 |
| That marriage license is mine, MINE!! So back off, Sweetie! |
That's OK, Robyn hon. I get it that you realize the audience isn't going to fall for this song and dance about why you and Kody had to get legally married. So I'm not surprised you "suddenly" couldn't breathe. And no, I don't have any sympathy that you're finding taking away your children's bio-father's parental rights isn't as easy as say, getting Meri to give up her legal marriage.
So even though Kody described Montana as having a "thriving Polygamist community" and was sure a local Judge would sympathize with Robyn's need to sever her ex's legal claim to his children, the newly married couple were shocked, SHOCKED that a Montana judge ruled since the children, Kody and his lovely missus Robyn are residents of Nevada, Nevada has jurisdiction in the matter, not Montana.
Living in the monogamy world is such a bummer, isn't it?
But you can bet your sweet bippy that once Kody's adoption plans goes through, and Robyn no longer needs to remain legally married to Kody, Robyn will never let go of that legal piece of paper called a marriage license as easily as Meri gave it up.
Nope. Ain't gonna happen.
Now to the segment where Kody and Christine go to Galveston for their 21st wedding anniversary.
Lord have mercy, this segment was absolutely horrific - like watching an accident happening and you just can't look away.
And who in their right mind would take their marriage counselor on their anniversary trip?
Well, the obvious answer is Kody, who shows how little he cares for Christine, the woman who brought six of his spirit babies into this world.
Some highlights:
Christine is jealous. Christine hates living in plural marriage. Translation: Christine has realized that sharing a man with three other women is not easy, if not impossible. But she already knew that - that's why she wanted to be the 3rd and last wife.
Oopsy, that didn't happen because Kody brought in a 4th wife. So sorry Christine. Welcome to the real world...and take those damn rose-colored glasses off!
Kody could barely hide his contempt for Christine. After a series of exercises that were facilitated by their marriage counselor, where Kody TOTALLY ignored Christine and did what he wanted to do despite her feeble protests that he needs to listen to her, Christine admitted to defeat, stopped protesting and just did whatever Kody wanted. And the marriage counselor said absolutely NOTHING.
And then the audience was allowed to see the ugly side of Kody, and his world of Polygamy. He tells Christine: "Honor the entire family and I will 'love' you".
Translation: Honor my family with Robyn, and I might tolerate you. For a while...
And all Christine did was to shake her head, yes. She said she was looking for love, and Kody said he was looking for a family foundation. And then he asked her...
"What can I give you in return so that we're, you know, we're a win-win marriage?"
If it was me instead of Christine, I would have screamed at the top of my lungs..."A DIVORCE, fool!" But Christine isn't me, and she is polygamy blueblood, a true born-in, a woman who has struggled in her marriage since the addition of wife #4. A woman still bearing the emotional scars from when her mother left polygamy and her family when Christine was a young child.
She asked Kody to trust her, that she loves her sister wives and the entire family. She begged Kody to trust her. And that was the saddest thing I've ever witnessed on a reality show. Her desperate pleas, was just so sad because you could tell Kody could care less about her. It was all about Kody, his wants and his needs.
And even as he tried to explain how much HE learned from the sessions, you could tell by the look on Christine's face it wasn't enough. She wants romance, and Kody doesn't, at least not with her.
Yep, looks like Robyn and her 'Honeymoon Experience' she talked about in Season 3 has won Kody's heart. Sorry Christine and the other Original Two wives. You lose.
It made me sick. Christine deserves more.
