A few nights ago, I took a virtual tour of Centennial Park via Google Earth. I love Google Earth - especially Street View. I have saved thousands of dollars taking virtual vacations to places like Corsica, San Francisco, New York city, my backyard. But let's get back to the topic, shall we?
I came across an old article - New York Times, no less - that anonymously interviewed some polygamists about their, um, big-ass mansions. Surprisingly, these men were very proud (although secretive). What kills me is the owner of this abode, that would best be described as an earth docked space station, wanted to be anonymous. So you built yourself and your wives a mansion that could give the old Candy Spelling Manor a run for its money (Well, maybe a fast sprint...) AND you want to remain anonymous...I.am.finally.at.a.
So much for being subtle. Unfortunately, there is no street-view or bird's eye view available for this behemoth.* But I can tell you from my discerning Google Earth trained eyeballs, this is a seriously huge mansion. I mean look how it dwarfs those cars in the parking lot!
But enough ramblings from me, let's hear from the actual owner! Here's his excerpt from the NYTimes:
A House, 10 Wives: Polygamy in Suburbia
By FLORENCE WILLIAMS
Published: December 11, 1997
[...]
The most opulent home visited was also the strictest in terms of mandating communal living. The 35,000-square-foot house was designed and built by a financier and fundamentalist in his 40's who agreed to be interviewed only on condition of anonymity and declined to be photographed.
His two-year-old, neo-Ramada-Inn style house in Southern Utah has 37 bathrooms and 31 bedrooms, this for 10 wives and 28 children. ''Think of it this way,'' he said. ''It's just like having 10 families with a fairly typical average of 2.8 children each. The only thing unusual is there's only one father.''
And some high dental bills.
Despite the capaciousness of the house, all the wives share a central kitchen. By schedule, they rotate child-care duties, cooking, cleaning, yard work and gardening.
The house is shaped like an airplane propeller with three radiating blades. Two of the blades house bedrooms for wives and children (the latter are grouped by age and share bedrooms with half siblings).
''We do very well in maintaining our individuality,'' said the first wife, whose country-style bedroom is on the first floor, directly across from her three youngest children. ''Almost every wife has her own talents in decorating.
Each of us is comfortable in her own sphere, and if we ever need time to be by ourselves, we can do that. I'm not a loner though. I love to be around the other women.''
HOW do the other wives feel? ''Naturally some wives get along better than others,'' she said. ''Every day it takes an effort. We have to want to get along.''
The third wing, with parquet floors, 20-foot ceilings and airy arched windows, is for formal entertaining. This wing also houses the husband's office, library and bedroom suite, whose four-sided fireplace, central Jacuzzi and cherry four-poster bed can only be described as swank.
Showing it off, the Man of the House said, ''Isn't it dreamy?''
The building's central hub is part industrial-size kitchen, part day-care center. ''We're a 24-hour restaurant,'' one of the wives said. The area was crowded with 4 refrigerators, 2 dishwashers and 14 counter stools. Rooms just off the hub are a home theater, a computer room and several bathrooms with specially designed child-height counters. ''The home is very children-oriented,'' the Man said.
The design shows the inherent tension between a rigorous need for order and the tendency toward chaos that befalls very large families. The wives have worked out a pro-rata system for child-care based upon how many infants they have contributed to the pool. An eight-foot wall surrounds the five-and-a-half-acre- property, as much to keep the children in their sandboxes or on the tennis and basketball courts as to keep intruders out.
An intercom system keeps everyone in touch.
''Believe me,'' the Man said, ''there are cheaper ways to have sex. We feel it's the best deal on earth to live together and work together, and the architecture absolutely shows that.''
Maybe Kody Brown's house he's "building" for his family (no doubt funded by TLC and that mysterious family business) will be so big it will stop the rotation of the earth. It will be big enough to house at least 100 wives and a thousand children (sorry Robyn) and have a room constructed solely for Kody and his hair, lined with mirrors so he can watch himself as he flexes his manly muscles. And cameras, lots of cameras. And garages for all of Kody's toys, including his Bentley, and his Maserati, and Robyn's Maybach, and of course his beloved Lexus and Harley. Hey, Kody can dream can't he?
* Almost four years after this blog article was written, a "bird's eye view" does exist of this mansion...
