Sunday, December 7, 2014

I Scour the Internet: The Sister Wives Return 1/4/15 Edition for December 7, 2014




TLC finally made it official: Sister Wives new season (called the Winter Season - how festive!) begins January 4th, 2015! I suppose it was TLC's final slap to the face of Here Comes Honey Boo Boo. Polygamy triumphs again, tra lalalala lala la la...

I'm just glad to get Sister Wives back. I hate to say this, but I will. Sister Wives makes for the best snark, ever! Job well done, Browns...

So let's check out what the Brown Krew has been up to since we last met...

Well, sounds like Meri's been sleeping single in a double bed with insomnia again, poor dear...



To make up for not majoring in Philosophy (or any other worthwhile subject) at UNLV this semester, she has taken to tweeting her own version of "Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey".

I'm calling this as I see it, so here's Meri Brown's Contradictory Thoughts...


I'm guessing Robyn didn't get this lecture when she felt Hunter didn't show her the respect she deserved after popping out King Sol. Oh, and don't forget Christine having to apologize to her for not properly welcoming her to the family.


Guess sisterwives don't count...



I love this one...kind of explains how Meri treated Janelle after she joined the family as Kody's 2nd wife.


Which also would explain why Cynical Jinx' question just disappeared AND was never answered. I suppose if CJ were Meri's close friend, Meri would have deleted and blocked her ample rear-end.


Cue the crickets...CJ is still waiting...


And then we have....



So true, Meri. So true. Hey, was this Meri's passive-aggressive answer to sweet, dear Cynical Jinx?

Mariah was in rare form last week. She's a science major, ya know...





I especially liked this response to a "fan". Well, at least she made an effort and actually REPLIED. Unlike her mother...



Down the road from Mariah, Maddie is also suffering through finals...







Back in Vegas, Mykelti is also falling victim to the scourge of finals week...





But Aspyn seems focused on more important things...







while looking extremely...



Janelle did a lot of retweeting, but did find time to make some announcements...





And to show off what a great bonus mom she is...





Can you imagine Meri hosting a cookie decorating party???

Off the subject of hosting a party, Robyn may be on Twitter hiatus but Kody did take the time to tweet this picture showing the results of Dayton's first wrestling experience. Too bad Robyn wore dark clothes.


Can you imagine Robyn and Kody dressing for the wrestling meet? Robyn got to wear the dark Centennial HS sweatshirt to keep up the speculation is she, or isn't she? Kody wore the light Centennial  sweatshirt to show off his curvy yet still manly physique. And Dayton had to ice his aching shoulder afterwards. OUCH!!

That's all for now. And remember. I Scour the Internet so YOU don't have To!!!


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47 comments:

  1. AnonymousDecember 7, 2014 at 1:59 PM

    I think it's the hair but she looks ten years older than when she joined the family.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Cynical JinxDecember 7, 2014 at 2:48 PM

      Living with the khaos of Kody Brown will do that to ya!!!

      Delete
    2. LaPetiteTerrorDecember 17, 2014 at 12:39 AM

      She really does look older. I've mentioned this before, but sunscreen and hair care (conditioner/trims) do not seem to exist in polygamy...nor does the concept of modest yet fashionable.
      I know plenty of modest or self conscious women who manage to dress beautifully in well tailored and or sized clothing. I would watch an entire season of someone coming in and cleaning out these peoples closets and makeup bags.

      Delete
  2. AnonymousDecember 7, 2014 at 3:56 PM

    Why would Mariah think Science majors shouldn't write papers? Scientists research and write up their results all the time. She is clueless.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. AnonymousDecember 10, 2014 at 11:24 AM

      Thank you. I was thinking the exact same thing. As a bio major and a science teacher I can tell you I did more than my fair share of writing during my entire academic career.

      Delete
    2. Bemused BystanderDecember 12, 2014 at 10:11 PM

      I remember writing 21-page lab reports for the basic Anatomy & Physiology class for all science majors at UConn. Puhleeze, girl, have a nice fresh cup of wake the f*ck up...the written word is involved everywhere.

      Delete
  3. Baylor02December 7, 2014 at 6:30 PM

    OMG! Even in that group picture of the family above, Kody is holding Solomon, while Christine is holding Truly!!
    I just can't!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Cynical JinxDecember 7, 2014 at 6:46 PM

      King Sol is the human version of Lisa Vanderpump's Giggy.

      Delete
    2. AnonymousDecember 7, 2014 at 6:56 PM

      These women must have really low self esteem to put up with Kody's favoritism. In every single photo Kody is holding Sol, it is ridiculous.

      Delete
    3. AnonymousDecember 8, 2014 at 4:57 AM

      Maybe after realizing how little respect his sons have for him, he clings to Sol as his last hope for a plyg successor.

      Delete
    4. AnonymousDecember 8, 2014 at 2:18 PM

      How many pictures can you remember seeing with Kody holding Truely. They may exist, but I haven't seen them.

      Delete
  4. MrSpockDecember 7, 2014 at 7:09 PM

    Okay, the schedule is goofy tonight, with 90 Day running late, and flipping over to Long Island, then,it appears 5 wives comes on at 14 min. after the hour per the TLC website. STRANGE.

    ReplyDelete
  5. MrSpockDecember 7, 2014 at 7:10 PM

    MrSpock does not watch 90 Day or Long Island.

    ReplyDelete
  6. MrSpockDecember 7, 2014 at 7:14 PM

    Okay, MrSpock is stuck watching the end of 90 Day and is appalled!!!! Talk about a disaster in the making between Mohammed (sp?) and the middle-age woman...Heh, it is 14 after the hour, where is My Five Wives?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. DakotaJusticeDecember 8, 2014 at 8:57 PM

      90 Day Fiance is the most compelling train wreck on TV at the moment for me anyway. I like reading here and at all the other popular TV snark forums :)

      Delete
  7. MrSpockDecember 7, 2014 at 7:17 PM

    Okay, 5 Wives is finally starting at 17 min. after the hour...

    ReplyDelete
  8. AmusedDecember 7, 2014 at 7:55 PM

    Speaking of hair, they must have hired an in-house hair stylist for Kody.
    He looks like he is either sporting hair extensions or 10 layers of volume/ thickening product for those pics.
    Because.......last year it was VERY evident that Kody's locks were fast approaching few and far between..and receding back at warp speed. Remember his ponytail !! Also noticed he has bailed on all the highlights. Looks like this season's *do* will be monotone brown.... to cover the gray and perhaps color his scalp ??

    Hey, Janelle.......about time you *finally* posted a pic of Savannah.
    Took you long enough !!

    I am SOOOO ready to snark the Browns. Bring it on !!!

    ReplyDelete
  9. AnonymousDecember 7, 2014 at 10:20 PM

    Is there something wrong with Dayton's eye?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Cynical JinxDecember 7, 2014 at 11:04 PM

      He was in an ATV accident a couple of years ago.

      Delete
    2. Bemused BystanderDecember 12, 2014 at 10:14 PM

      Man, that eye's clearly got some permanent damage. Poor kid. The weight of the ATV's add to their danger. I now know of two teens who have died from being crushed when an ATV overturned on them and crushed their hearts.

      Delete
    3. LaPetiteTerrorDecember 17, 2014 at 12:42 AM

      Every family I know who owns (owned) ATV's has some sort of horror story. They are terrifying.

      Delete
    4. AnonymousDecember 19, 2014 at 12:50 PM

      I'll add that a dear friend of mine let her 10 year old son drive his 9 year old cousin around on an ATV. He was experienced. They were wearing helmets.
      He overturned the ATV and crushed her hip. Crushed it. She was in a wheelchair for the better part of half a year as she healed.
      She will likely have permanent damage, though for now she is healing nicely.
      :(

      Delete
  10. AmusedDecember 8, 2014 at 5:52 AM

    Gloves off for me on snarking the older kids. "Kids" now in college and living away !!

    Aspyn, Maddie, Mykelti, Mariah.....such whining !! Nothing else to tweet about college??

    Yes, ladies..."college" IS all about classes, papers, tests, mid-terms, finals, deadlines, library time, studying, cramming, all nighters, profs you may not like,......and lack of sleep (especially if you party hardy) and yes, even stiff necks.
    And aren't you all very fortunate to even have the chance to be in college !!??

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Beholder of JusticeDecember 14, 2014 at 6:31 PM

      I hope to see the older kids get a grip on how their social media personalities affect the perception that people out in the world have of their family. Get some sense, kids, ain't nobody teachin' you nothin'?

      Delete
  11. CrimsonDecember 8, 2014 at 7:13 AM

    Although I've always really liked the older kids, their tweets are starting to sound like they have some of their parents whiney, entitled attitudes. I hope that isn't the case.....I actally had hope for them!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. AnonymousDecember 8, 2014 at 1:29 PM

      I agree with you, although I hope that they mature unlike their parents.

      Delete
    2. AnonymousDecember 13, 2014 at 10:34 PM

      That picture of Kody and wives, check out Meri, is it me or is she doing one of those totally forced smiles that look like a forced smile?

      Delete
  12. got2bdrcDecember 8, 2014 at 12:09 PM

    Dear Mariah,

    If you believe science majors don't write papers, you are delusional. There's a reason that professors give what you call "paper" final exams: because they are better ways to assess mastery of course content than a more traditional exam could ever be. In a traditional examination, a student could simply guess their way through and still pass. A paper, though, demonstrates mastery of subject matter, research skills, rhetorical skills, and written communication skills. Trust me, little girl, your professors would rather not have to read the dross you and most of your classmates will churn out the night before your exam is due. However, we are obligated by the ideals of The Academy and our respective academic disciplines to try and pound some learning into your thick little skull. So stop your whining and get to work. I doubt your professor will give you an extension, even if you are a reality TV "star".

    Sincerely yours, A Professor Much Like Your Own

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. AmusedDecember 8, 2014 at 3:08 PM

      Bravo !!!!!

      Delete
    2. AnonymousDecember 9, 2014 at 6:23 AM

      I love this response. If science majors don't write papers, I have no idea who wrote all those books and journal articles that I read when I was in college.

      Delete
    3. AnonymousDecember 9, 2014 at 1:52 PM

      College professor here--ditto to every inch of your response. Mariah, once and for all GROW UP. I was an English major, and I had to take--in your CHARMING PARLANCE--a "shit ton" of math and science classes. It's a little thing called "a college education," and they don't hand you a degree for NOT conquering subjects you find most challenging. Where the hell did you get the idea that life is supposed to be nothing but smooth sailing for Mariah Brown?? Like my mama used to say: "Fair" is what comes around with corn dogs and ferris wheels every summer.

      Delete
    4. Bemused BystanderDecember 12, 2014 at 10:17 PM

      I get why Mariah would rather take a test than write a long paper. They really are a huge pain in the *ss. But girl, don't go crying about it on the front page news for the love of Christ.

      Delete
  13. runKodyrunDecember 8, 2014 at 7:02 PM

    The girls are a part of that Gen X group that comes to college feeling entitled and not wanting to really work for their grades. I see them in the courses that I teach and they come in to my writing center. They don't want to write papers, study to much, or even attend class.
    On a different note, it looks like Christine's older girls are losing weight...but it looks like Meri's daughter is doing that weight gain that comes with binge eating and junk food eating.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. AnonymousDecember 8, 2014 at 8:58 PM

      No, they are not Gen X. Gen Xers were born mid-60's to early 80's. The Brown older kids are Gen Y or Millennials. Gen X were not entitled. Gen X were latch-key kids who were very independent. Gen Y are the entitled, raised-by-helicopter-parents, all-about-me "selfie" generation.

      Delete
    2. Bemused BystanderDecember 12, 2014 at 10:26 PM

      I am a gen x-er. their was a big group of of that mostly moved out of our parent's homes, lived off campus, and 'mostly' supported outselves. My nephews are gen x and y, and both followed similar paths. My older child is 18 and in his first year of college. The economy is partly to blame for inhibiting his move out on his own, as well as the millenial generational mentality. Circumstances and opportunities are not the same, and the facility to indulge these kids with a thousand toys (the internet, movies, games, etc.) has been an easy thing to do for the gen x parents who were on the cutting edge of the freedom of time and the explosion of entertainment alternatives.

      Delete
    3. AnonymousDecember 19, 2014 at 12:51 PM

      Bemused:
      As a gen x-er, it may behoove you to learn the difference between "there", "their" and "they're"...also, look up "Behoove" while you are at it. ;)

      Delete
    4. Cynical JinxDecember 19, 2014 at 5:22 PM

      Hey Anon 12:51, give Bemused Bystander some slack...Auto Correct is the work of the Devil I tell ya! So I as long as you can understand the writer's intent, give it a rest!

      Thanks!

      Delete
  14. DakotaJusticeDecember 8, 2014 at 8:51 PM

    Two words for Mykelti:
    Foam Roller.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. DakotaJusticeDecember 8, 2014 at 8:52 PM

      oh and some basic stretches wouldn't hurt either. once an hour or so at least!

      Delete
  15. got2bdrcDecember 9, 2014 at 6:26 PM

    To my fellow members of The Academy: Amused, Anon 12-9-2014, 6:23 AM, Anon 12-9-2014, 1:52 P.M., and to runKodyrun and Anon 12-8-2014, 8:58 P.M., I have made the same observations you have about the Millennial Generation, aka Generation Y. While it's not fair to stereotype and many are responsible, competent, and willing to earn their grades and accolades, there are enough spoiled, self-indulgent little twits out to give the entire generation a bad reputation. I further agree that their parents have not helped them learn independence or a solid work ethic. I had high hopes for the Brown children, and I still do for Logan, Hunter, Aspyn, Mykelti, and Madison. But I think Mariah is destined to be just like her mother: petulant, self-absorbed, and passive-aggressive. I fear for her eventual husband and sister wives, unless she marries into a family where at least one of the women is into MMA and willing to knock some sense into Mariah. Now that's a bout I'd pay to see.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. JasmineDecember 10, 2014 at 11:34 AM

      I like your response and a lot of others I've read, especially as it pertains to the Brown children. Mariah, in my opinion, will not be a sister wife. She was just saying that crap to kiss up to her parents. No boy who is serious about the faith would marry Mariah. She would, however, attract the Brady and Kody types. No way are those two dorks serious about it. It's not about the sex, my a$&!

      Mariah is no more serious about her faith and becoming a sister wife than her parents. She is entitled because her mother spoiled her to make up for not having as many kids as Janelle and Christine. It's harsh, but I'm just calling it like I see it.

      Delete
    2. JulesDecember 14, 2014 at 7:46 AM

      Jasmine, I have said that from day one. Mariah will say anything to her parents to suck up, and make herself outshine the other children. She is fake, and now I'm calling it as I see it. She will not make it as a Doctor, no way in heck will she be able to do all the work it takes to go that far in school and put in so many hours. This is just her first year, am I wrong? Or second? Regardless, she has a loooooong way to go, and maaaaaaaaaaaany more papers to write. She is entitled and spoiled. Not being mean, it is there for all to see on our televisions. It is not editing, nor is her tweets edited by anyone. The truth is there, we are just forming our opinions around what we see, and read, by her actions. The scene in the van where she was throwing a tantrum because HER house wasn't ready to move into, and how she blamed the underwriters, that was enough for me to base my opinion. She showed her true colors. I would never allow my child to act like that. Ever. I would have had a talk with my daughter about respect and putting others first and having patience, and not acting like a child. Maybe college will help her grow up and be more mature.

      Delete
    3. AmusedDecember 14, 2014 at 1:20 PM

      Doubtful that college will improve Mariah's basic personality. However, she may get an occasional verbal reality check from other students who may eventually tire of her antics.and inflated ego.

      Jules, Yes indeed....vividly remember her toddler tantrum about having to wait "a day or two" to move into *her* house.
      Thought at the time that it was very telling about Mariah AND her mother. They both knew the cameras were on them, with one camera filming Meri standing outside the car pleading with her overgrown brat, and one filming Mariah sniveling and yelling.

      1-What "mother" of an older teenager would tolerate that behavior?
      2- And.then allow it to be filmed for the world to see ??

      That bit not only spotlighted Mariah's obnoxious self, it also showed Meri to be ineffective and ...well, just plain stupid.

      Delete
  16. AnonymousDecember 14, 2014 at 2:40 PM

    It's not the front page, it's a personal tweet by a college student, or some such social media. What do you expect her to tweet about and be excited about?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. AnonymousDecember 14, 2014 at 5:47 PM

      If it was me I wouldn't be tweeting how my professors are ruining my life by giving me papers to write for finals. I'd want my professor to think I was smart enough to handle anything they throw at me and not crumble because I had to write a paper! She looks like a jerk.

      Delete
    2. Beholder of JusticeDecember 14, 2014 at 6:24 PM

      Dude, it's the metaphorical front page. Hello? Social media is airing lots of people's dirty laundry. She doesn't have to tweet about anything, for all I care. But I can comment all I want. There are plenty of things for people of all ages to get excited about. What put that out there?!

      Delete
  17. AnonymousDecember 19, 2014 at 7:40 PM

    I wonder how Meri's meet and greet went.

    ReplyDelete

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