Plain and simple, Ezra has problems. A high school drop out, he yearns to be somebody. He wants to be noticed in his community, to be looked up to, to be a leader. But he just doesn't know how to go about it. He had a truck but when it broke down, he left it abandoned on the side of the road. And when Uncle Art waste his time and gas to haul Ezra's sorry azz to Salt Lake City, he wasn't even responsible enough to make sure he had his truck keys with him in order to retrieve his belongings from the locked truck.
And now he wants to get married but he doesn't have a job and lives with his parents. The kid is an irresponsible mess.
The icing on this cake is Ezra still wants to live the Principle of Plural Marriage in Centennial Park. AND he desperately wants to get married, NOW. So he makes an appointment with the Brethren to plead his case.
I really don't know what Ezra expected the Brethren to tell him. When he returned from his meeting, he jokingly told Tiffany they were getting married, then quickly told her the truth. It seems the Brethren want Ezra to grow up before getting married. He must first find a place to live AND have $10,000 in the bank before they would approve of him getting married.
Even when you view Ezra and Tiffany's plight through a monogamist's eyeglasses, it is obvious these two "lovers" are way too immature to be contemplating marriage.
Ezra tries to act like a macho man, but instead of looking for a job, we see him lying on his bed with a TV remote in his hand. And I get the impression that Ezra's idea of his father helping him out is being handed $10,000 and a house.
But Uncle Art will not be fooled. He laid it out: Ezra is in LUST.
I think Uncle Art does care about Tiffany's well being and, like the other Brethren, know where this is all going end.
In this case, I can see the wisdom of the Priesthood Council. Marriage is for now and eternity for them. If Ezra marries Tiffany, their marriage might last a year or two, at most.
The Brethren have given Tiffany a gift: she should thank them and walk away before she gets hurt.
Later, Ezra is offered a job in North Dakota. Now, if he was a mature adult, he would tell his father he's leaving for a job in North Dakota. But when he does tell his father, it's to ask his permission - no doubt hoping Uncle Art will relent and give him the $10,000 so he can stay in Centennial Park.
So it must have come to a big surprise to Ezra when his father implied North Dakota didn't sound like a bad idea after all.
So we the viewers are left with a cliffhanger: Will Ezra leave for North Dakota? Tune in next week to find out!
Let's segue to something more light-hearted. Yep, I'm talkin' Hyrum's bachelor party! Oh yeah, and Kellie's bachelorette mani/pedi party with Rose Marie, the Thomson wives and two friends.
Here's a brief summary: There were no strippers, and Hyrum can throwback a shot of tequila like a champ. Kellie says she knows enough about Hyrum to marry him, and can't wait to be best friends with her sisterwives. She also knows exactly what she wants on her french tips.
Hyrum thinks Kellie "is sweet", but also thinks there might be some "sharks ready to eat his legs off" once he ventures into the deep end of the pool called marriage.
Hyrum speculates his future to his posse by saying that he will get married and nine months later she will give birth.
Kellie feels that the one thing she and Hyrum have in common is their passion for their religion and that will make things easier for them.
I'm happy to hear there's SOME passion going on between Hyrum and Kellie!
Sorry, but I can't stand it when Marleen takes that sanctimonious tone of voice when she talks about how having sister wives is how women work out their salvation. And is it me or does Rose Marie sound more mature than Kellie?
Rose Marie sounds like she knows what is expected of a wife -- making lots and lots of babies (no doubt courtesy of her father), but Kellie seems to ignore that part. She gives the impression that marriage is a big sorority party where she can hang out and be best buds with her sisterwives.
My impression of Kellie is that she was probably not very popular in school and stayed in the background -- a lot. She saw Hyrum, and immediately fell into unrequited love. Luckily for her, she belonged in a religion where SHE could pick her husband.
When the time came for her to submit a name, it was a no brainer: she said Hyrum...and lo and behold, it was approved.
The problem is, she's emotionally stuck at being 13-14 years old. She's like a child, more concerned with putting flowers on her french tipped nails. She thinks her sisterwives will be her friends, but probably hasn't given a thought if they become her adversary instead. I'm sure she'll pray about it and repeating Marleen's words - this is how she will work out her salvation.
And if Hyrum's unhappy, he'll just get another wife, but Kellie will be stuck in a marriage based on duty to husband and home and having lots and lots of babies. She will find solace in her religion, and her husband will find solace in another woman.
What a sad life to look forward to... BUT...Hyrum and Kellie do tie the old knot, although I would have loved to see the ceremony. My guess is there was a lot of giggling going on by the bride.
In one of the most romantic acts by a husband ever seen on a reality show (take notes ABC's The Bachelor), Hyrum prepared a "tree of life" up on sacred Berry Knoll to show his devotion to his new bride. There were ribbons to signify Hyrum and Kellie being tied together from this life into the next. An empty picture frame that they will fill with pictures of their children. An oil lamp to represent being sealed together forever and Hyrum's priesthood to show them the way. And a bowl of fruit that signifies Hyrum providing the things Kellie will need to sustain her through their life together, even through the rotting of their flesh into dust (oops, I think Hyrum had a TMI moment there)
And what did Kellie do throughout his presentation? She giggled....a lot.
OK, that leaves us with Rose Marie, who unfortunately has not received any revelation which man she should marry.
She approaches her future duty as a wife like she was preparing for her final exams in school:
Practice making dinner for twenty to thirty people. Practice taking care of kids. Practice running the household. Practice. Practice. Practice.
She wants the family not the man. Practice. Practice. Practice.
She's ready to step away from her father's family, but she can't until she gets that doggone revelation.
Why won't her husband's name pop into her head, like what happened to Kellie? Why? Why? WHY???
If you ask me, I think God is telling Rose Marie maybe she should be doing something else instead of being married right now. Like learning about the world and meeting new, different people.
Maybe God is telling her she needs to further her education, and then perhaps, that name will be revealed to her.
After some thought, she decides to put her fate into the hands of the Brethren. She only hopes the man the Brethren come up with is not too old, and is pleasing to the eye.
Fat chance, Rose Marie. You're going to marry...Uncle Art!!
But just like the Ezra saga, we'll find out what happens in next week's episode.
The rest of this episode was mainly fillers.
At a dinner party hosted by the "Thomsons", we were introduced to a recent convert to plural marriage and his two wives. Besides the creepy fact he found out about CP's form of polygamy from chatting with an unseen man on the internet, he gives a toast that includes an unfortunate gesture to his 2nd wife who is old enough to marry and bear a child but not old enough to share a glass of wine, legally.
Actually, we didn't need to know her age or that she was too young to drink, but it must have been important to him to mention it in his toast. Now he didn't remind me of a Warren Jeffs, but he did remind me of Winston Blackmore or Jeff's former number two Willie Jessop. A creepy, faked gregariousness. I wonder why polygamy attracts these type of men?
On a more cheerful note, Mama Rose Cawley survived her first day caring for 9 children under the age of 5...sort of....As we watched her struggle with kids seemingly in every nook and cranny of her house, something caught my eye.
She was CLEANING.
Frankly, I would rather see her watching the children not busily cleaning the house.
What if little Simon decided to give little Charlie a frontal lobotomy on the coffee table? Would she drop her cleaning rag in time to prevent a nasty accident? Or would she continue cleaning while yelling "Simon! Make sure you go through Charlie's right nostril, QUICKFAST!"
Even though she happily announced she made it through the first day, I began to wonder maybe Connie was right when she said 9 kids would be too much for Rose.
Finally, we find out that once a week, CP Mike ventures into Colorado City in order to replenish his family's drinking water supply. It seems the Centennial Park's ground water is contaminated with radium. Since he can't afford the $100 a month to have water delivered to his home, he has to travel to Colorado City's community water faucet to replenish his supply.
Now, we all know that Colorado City is not known to be very cordial to outsiders. So why would anyone with half a brain knowingly antagonize the goon squad that patrols and protects Colorado City? Yep, CP Mike would.
You know what? I think the REAL reason the goon squad was taking pictures was because of all the cameras from the reality show. They could care less about former Brother Cawley. It just seems to me all of this was just so....silly.
And those 3 containers provides drinking water for a family of 22 for one week? I don't think so. Hell, just pay the $100 for water delivery and be done with it. Sorry CP Mike, no sympathy from me!
Next week, the season finale!
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