Sunday, April 24, 2016

Sister Wives New Season Starts May 8th 2016 !

Kody Brown and his Kodettes: Just one happy family plus the Original Three   TLC


Well, it's official. We get another fantabulous season of Sister Wives to watch. Now, c'mon, stop yer bellyachin' as my grandma would say. You know watching this show is like watching a trainwreck about to happen. And yeppers, my Living Room will be open as usual for all you snarkers out there who can't help but comment on the absurdity of it all.

But I have a bone to pick.

Like, TLC we aren't stupid ya know. It's obvious all has NOT been well in the cul-de-sac for quite some time now. The last season focusing on the supposed family saga necessitating a quickie divorce between those former lovebirds Meri and Kody was, well, all for "the show". Taken straight from the final season of HBO's Big Love, I might add. And those of us who were fans of that epic yet flawed series, remember that restructuring of Bill Hendrickson's family units by divorcing one wife to marry another (for adoption purposes...sounds familiar?) did not work out so good for big husband Bill Hendrickson in the end.

Whatever you do, Kody, do NOT re-sod your neighbor's front lawn without asking first.

Back to reality, this new season may be an epic one. The last few seasons Kody has not been given a heroes edit, at all. And don't get me started on the new legal Mrs Kody Brown and her overly enthusiastic need to be present while Meri, obviously suffering physical as well as mental distress, tearfully signed the dotted line ending her legal marriage of almost 25 years in that attorney's office.

The fact that Kody and Robyn married a few months later, and then took a semi-secret vacay to Hawaii, which the new Missus claimed SHE paid for (no doubt out of her grocery allowance like Christine was told to do when she needed money to visit her ill father) as a gift to Kody.

Uh huh...just like the other present Robyn gave Kody, mainly getting preggers shortly after being made legal. Isn't it amazing how things worked out the way they did?

Kody and his Kodettes believe a marriage license is just a piece of paper. But when Kody was asked in the Tell All now that Robyn's kids from her previous marriage were now legally Brownettes, would he be divorcing Robyn to remarry Meri, Kody in his best Geico caveman look, answered "Why would I do that?"

Because it's just a piece of paper, you doofus. Isn't that what polygamist believe, what you and Meri both said during the show? Legal marriage is man's law, spirtual marriage is God's law, God's law supercedes man's law, etc etc etc? So why hang on to that piece of paper?

We don't need Kody and Robyn trying to explain why they hang on  so tenaciously to a legal piece of paper that symbolizes man's law.

It's because it DOES make a difference. Robyn will never let go of that legal document. Not while Sister Wives is giving her enough income to keep her McMansion in that Las Vegas cul-de-sac safe from foreclosure.

Meri knows this now, all too well.

A happy "spiritual" wife doesn't seek companionship with a stranger on social media. A happy "spiritual" wife doesn't tell her fellow sisterwives one day she may be gone. Indeed, a happy sisterwife doesn't leave incriminating voice mails and send questionable selfies, including a regrettable picture featuring a banana to a "man" who turned out to be a catfishing woman.

And through out the mess of the last two years, starting with Meri's divorce and still continuing with the catfish saga that doesn't seem to want to end, TLC wants the viewing audience to believe all is well in the cul-de-sac.

Well, guess what, TLC. We aren't stupid.

And thanks for that delightfully awful picture of Kody and his Ko-dypendents.


Question of the Day...What does desperation look like? 


Yeppers, when your reality show is days away from the season premiere, a sisterwife not only was catfished but continues to be publicly humiliated with voice mails and banana pics, while the new legal Mrs Kody Brown's former friend, confidant, and overall junk yard dog defender of all things Robyn has gone rogue in the worse possible way, ya gotta do what ya gotta do.

Which in this case is...ROAD TRIP!!!
First we have Meri's semi-heartfelt congratulations to her former lover on their 26 years together. Tell me she doesn't sound like she's being forced to tweet this...




How, ummm....romantic. Yeah, that's the word, romantic...




Please tell me Meri won't start retweeting VanLadyLove again!



Oh yeah, they look happy don't they? #KeepingUpAppearances, #DontCancelTheShowTLC, #WheresMyBanana




Yep, but Mariah's showing a lot of skin...#ModestIsHottest, #KodyCantActHisWayOutofAPaperBag, #SomebodyGiveKodyABananaPlease





Thank goodness, a professional looking picture at last! #CellphonePicsSuck, #WheresRobyn, #GabeAndDaytonLookingGood




Back in the cul-de-sac, Janelle also was on a Road Trip recently...




And tweeted this birthday greeting to her sister wife Christine...




Don't worry, Jangle. We will be there with bells on. Here's hoping you'll join the conversation in My Living Room (but I won't be holding my breath).





Of course, as the legal wife Robyn stepped away from her busy day to tweet this acknowledgement to Kody and Meri. #BeAfraidBeVeryAfraid



And then there's bonus daughter Aspyn, who proves she is still Kody's little acorn sharing some similar traits with her dear old dad...




Yep, when the going gets tough, the tough gets going...and changes their major. Nice...#TakingTheEasyWayOut, #BeatsFlunkingOut, #WhoMajorsInElementaryEdWithoutKnowingStudentTeachingIsARequirement




Oh my...#DUH, #PleaseDontGiveUpNow



That's all for now. The countdown to the new season officially starts now! What are your thoughts on the new season?


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Sunday, April 10, 2016

I Scour the Internet: The Pre Tax Day Edition for April 11, 2016

It's that time of the year again!

Well, almost. For those of us who haven't filed yet, we have until Monday, April 18th....aren't we lucky?

So what have Kody and his Kody-pendents been up to this week on Twitter?

Well...not much, as usual. They must be <cough> busy<cough, cough> filing those tax returns, meeting their many fans while Kody entertains them in his own inimitable way...right?

Zero out of three is par for the course for this klan of kut-ups, I'm afraid..

Last issue, I asked the question "Where in the World" were the Browns? Well, the answer was they were filming in Kody's and his blushing bride (and proud of it, dammit!) the New Mrs. Kody Brown's honeymoon spot, our 50th state of Hawaii.

Thanks to our friend at the Principle, if you're hankering for some more pictures of the Browns doing their reality thing the Hawaiian Way, there are a couple of more pictures to amuse you.

Yep, the next season looks like it's going to be a winner, I'm telling ya!

More pictures for Cynical Jinx’s TLC Sister Wives in Hawaii


Now that they are back stateside, Original Three sister wife#2 Jangle tweeted about her favorite things: food, movies and the pursuit of happiness ...at least for her dog Bryn I think...










Original Three sister wife#3 Christine raised herself from her chaise lounge long enough to tweet these two April Fool's Day tweets for her fans...





Oh noes, Jaeden! Don't do it!!!




And now that Original sister wife#1 Meri is still on the apparent outs with her former hubby Kody, Christine finally is enjoying quality Kody time out in public. Looks like Robyn's Aurora tagged along, too. Good job honoring Kody's family, Christine. Hope it works out for you ( /snarkoff). Retweet from Aspyn's twitter...




Also from young adult Aspyn, her shout out to her Daddy dearest...


Yep, ole Kody sure made that divorce from Meri happen mighty quick, didn't he? But he's kind of dragging his feet a bit, I mean, like we've been saying all along, if a marriage license is just a piece of paper, why is Robyn hanging on to it for dear life? For that matter, why is Kody hanging on to it? No wonder Meri was ready to jump ship out of the krazy khaos of the kul-de-sack.

Since I've inadvertently mentioned katfishing, let's take a short interlude, shall we?

Question: How do you keep a blonde occupied for hours?





My public service announcement for the day: Save your brain cells by skipping this interview. It ain't worth it, folks.

'nuff said. Now back to our regular programming.

Meri had her own version of a PSA with this timely tweet. Check out the response from someone named Rusty <giggle>...





Of course, there was the obligatory tweet showcasing Mosby the Dog...



And the obligatory King Sol tweet, also featuring Mosby....


Last but not the least, the obligatory kiss up to the new Mrs Kody Brown tweet with a big birthday greeting for bonus kid Breanna. Oh yes, how wonderful the other Brown bonus kids must feel knowing they could be one of Meri's LEAST all time favorites.

Just like being Kody's spiritual instead of legal wife, right? I think I'm seeing the logic in polygamy now!

That's all for now!

Til next time, just remember I Scour the Internet so YOU'LL have more time to get those tax returns completed!






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Monday, March 28, 2016

I Scour the Internet: The Post-Easter Edition for March 28th, 2016





Where in the World are Kody and his Kodettes?







According to this semi-innocuous tweet, Kody and his family were spotted on the Big Island in Hawaii.


Considering Hawaii was the vacation spot Kody and his new Mrs Kody Brown chose to "vacation" soon after his divorcing former wife Meri, how very...um....interesting...yeah that's the word...interesting that production would decide this was the next family vacation spot after Alaska.

Then again, this could be a random, fake tweet. I mean we've all learned, thanks to that little ole catfisher from Shidler OK, that Twitter locations can be spoofed, right?

So where are they? Where are the Browns?

Guess we'll have to wait until the next season to find out, maybe...if there IS a next season.

Until then, let's check out some Twitter tweets from that krazy Kody and his Ko-dypendants.


Jangle has turned out to be the family Twitter tweeter, responsible for keeping those who care informed of what's going on behind those hallowed cul-de-sac gates.

So far, she has tweeted about a bonus young adult's milestone birthday...




Her #3 son Garrison getting spiffied up for a school dance...




Now this next tweet is up for interpretation. I hate to say it (but I will) Jangle's not known for her cooking chops...I mean, Peanut Butter Fritos? Anyway. maybe it's not necessarily cafeteria food driving her kids wanting to cook...



We hit the jackpot with this next tweet. Finally, a new picture of the Princess Areola with her bonus brother Hunter. Now I ask you. Was this just a feelgood snapshot of two siblings, or was it a staged to show how welcomed Kody's newest legal child is with the son who a couple of years ago declared King Sol was not necessary as there were enough children in the family already. You decide....(PS, Kody's got some strong DNA, I tell ya)







Jangle retweeted this tweet from her son Logan's girlfriend. Hmmmm...maybe there's another Brown young adult wedding on the horizon? Well, at least the pictures don't show a glass or bottle of alcohol nearby...



Let's take a short interlude, shall we?

RadarOnline has been milking an interview from Christine's aunt Krystyn Decker for all it's worth.

Now I realize there's not a lot of Brown publicity coming out of the cul-de-sac since the end of the last season, but damn, is it necessary to use such gossip magazine gimmicks to get people to read their articles?

Cases in point, look at the titles, then read the articles. See what I mean? Bait and switch at it's best!!!

‘Sister Wives’ Fakery! Kody & His Wives Faked Storylines For Ratings, Relative Says


‘Sister Wives’ Scandal! Kody & Christine’s Secret Past REVEALED In Never-Before-Seen Photos


and this one is just a big,  NO DUH!!!

Kody’s Wife Christine Is Not ‘Happy’ In ‘Sister Wives’ Marriage, Aunt Claims

Like, does RadarOnline think we're stupid or something? This is OLD news. Krystyn Decker should DECK  the people responsible for writing those articles!


Back to Twitter land....

Poor Maddie is in a quandary trying to figure out why she's getting wedding mags in  the mail...



Gee Maddie, maybe this is the reason?




Just like Mariah and Meri, Maddie the acorn doesn't fall far from the Kody and Jangle tree!


Looks like Logan's got a new legal drinking partner now...







Hey, on the topic of Aspyn, we have a recent tweet showing Christine does indeed leave the cul-de-sac to intermingle with us mere monogamist heathens...Oh, and you've got a lot of hair, Christine. Maybe find a headband that's a bit larger next time?








And finally, the new Mrs. Kody Brown released a new professional photograph of King Sol and the Princess Areola. Psssst...Hunter's candid picture is nicer, but that's my opinion, of course!





This just in, or rather, brought to my attention...

Looks like Meri visited her bestie Elisa while in Hawaii!! Yep, Kody and the rest of the krew weren't around or hiding or something...Hey Meri, if you are reading this, why not stay in Hawaii for a while? Who knows, you might like it!




Many thanks to PolygamySucks for the scoop!



Well, that's all for now. And remember, I Scour the Internet so YOU don't have to!



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