Sunday, April 23, 2017

Cynical Jinx Attends the Az Women's Expo!


What does Strive with Janelle and LuLaRoe have in common? Well, besides the Meri Brown connection, of course...

Why, the Arizona Women's Expo, of course!

And guess who was smack dab in mid-town Phoenix yesterday, just mere minutes from the Convention Center, via the light-rail transport system?

Yeppers, your's truly!!!

Three guesses how I spent my Saturday, and the first two guesses don't count!





Driving in downtown Phoenix is the pits. No joke, if you don't need to drive downtown you avoid the area like the plague. But now we have the Light-Rail, which makes life so much simpler. No more worries about overpriced parking lots! No more long walks in the dry Phoenix heat! OK, so it wasn't 100 degrees in the shade yet, but I think you get my point!

Unfortunately, Saturday was also Earth Day, and there were over 1000 people marching for Science around the block surrounding the convention center complex. Instead of a smooth arrival to the Convention Center light-rail station, we had a tense few minutes of "Why are we stopped" "Is that a parade?" "Holy moly! Look at all the people!" 

Luckily, the Light-Rail timetable took precedence over the March for Science participants, so we weren't delayed for long. Once we arrived at the Convention Center station, we found ourselves at an excellent vantage point to watch the marchers as they filed past us. Here are a few photos I took of the parade...






Once we safely made our way through (yes, we had to go through the parade to reach the Convention Center across the street) we had to figure out exactly which entrance we were supposed to use for the Expo.

That task done, and now inside the Convention Center, I noticed this huge Tequila Tasting booth and its bottles of Tequila on display.

I thought this was a Women's Expo. I expected booths of woman empowerment, not Tequila tasting. I half expected someone to start screaming over the PA system "Tequila is my lady, my lady!"

Thank goodness, that didn't occur. I will tell you that later in the day, that booth became very, very, popular!



As we slowly made our rounds, we turned a corner and what did we spy?

Oh My Gosh!!! It's a LULAROE booth!!



I couldn't help myself. I had to touch the leggings. And folks, those leggings were soft, just like... buttah.

Well, okay, like I've never really fondled butter so let's just say they were...very soft. And kind of thin. I secretly inspected the leggings for tell-tale holes or splits and found none. Checking the label, I saw they were manufactured in China. Hmmm....

The consultant was extremely nice. The long Carly was a size 1XL, which she assured me would fit. In fact, she suggested I even go down a size.

I know my body. Unlike the former legal Mrs Kody Brown who is also a LuLaRoe consultant, I'm not into a certain look, best described as the "ten pounds of sausage stuffed into a five pound bag" by a former Real Housewife of NJ reality star. I asked the consultant if she had a 2XL. She did, and she swapped out the garish leggings in the picture with a more conservative print. The rest is LuLaRoe history.

I drank the LuLaRoe kool-aid, and I liked it!

But where the heck was the Strive with Janelle booth?

It seemed we walked forever. I was getting thirsty. I was getting tired of being accosted by vendors hawking massages, or perfumes, or offering free samples of beauty products. One guy totally insulted us by offering free candy if we signed up to win a free eye-brow shaping session.

Like, do we look like we need free candy? I thought this was a woman empowerment convention, and that vendor's attitude (and his snarky look when we politely declined his offer) was very insulting. Even the guy hawking Ovarian Cancer Awareness had an attitude. It was like we were stuck in an inside Shop and Swap Market circa 1979.

And then we turned a corner, and there it was. The Strive With Janelle booth. Right next to a Tattoo booth. Right across from a guy selling doors (Doors? Yes, DOORS).

And Janelle was no where to be seen.

What the hell? I saw Logan, and his girlfriend Michelle, with a lady who was apparently one of the Strive coaches. There were maybe 2 or 3 people looking over some stuff. But where was Janelle?

We tried to look as inconspicuous as possible, but we caught the attention of the door salesman. "Can I interest you in a new door?" he asked. "No thank you. I don't need a new door, but if I ever do, I'll remember you and your business." At least he tried and didn't give us a snarky look like that other guy did.

Damn. Where was Janelle?

Then it happened. BFF whispered "Don't look. Behind you, she's walking our way." That was my clue to look straight ahead, and then I saw Janelle, walking briskly away. Bless her heart...

We figured she would come back the same way she left, but she didn't. We then noticed she was back at the booth. I finally threw caution to the wind, and snapped a picture of her. Immediately after I took this picture, Jangle sat down, and did not get up again.


BFF and I were feeling the need not to look like stalkers (ha!!) so we walked around the Expo again, leaving Jangle to finish munching whatever she was munching. We saw a Learn how to Sew class, a Learn how to Make Jewelry class. We even saw a Cooking demonstration, and a cocktail making demo. I did enjoy the Penske Group and the beautiful Aston-Martin car they had on display. Now THAT'S empowerment!

The key-note speakers on Saturday were Carson Kressley and Bo Derek, I think. Thanks but no thanks. The last Woman's Convention I attended was all seminars and the keynote speakers were Elizabeth Dole and Cindi McCain who happened to drag hubby Senator John McCain along with her. That was sometime in the 1990's I think. What a difference two decades can make.

It was getting late in the afternoon, and BFF had a dinner commitment in a couple of hours, so we made one last run on the Strive booth. Jangle was still sitting down. No customers were at the booth.

To my BFF's chagrin, I marched over to the Strive booth, proudly holding my LuLaRoe bag containing my Carly and leggings, and my half drunken $4 bottle of water. I looked over the t-shirts (nope, not interested because I now owned a LULAROE Carly t-shirt dress!, HA!!) the Strive with Janelle water bottles (nope, I already spent $4 and I really didn't want or need a Strive one).

I noticed a woman I believed to be a Strive coach coming in for the kill. And then I saw it, the Strive Pedometer. Just what I need. "How much is the pedometer..." I asked sweetly, ignoring the big sign on the counter with the prices. "Only $10..." she replied.

As I pulled out bills from my purse, the unthinkable happened. Logan walked up and started talking to me! He mentioned how a lady bought one earlier that morning and she came back to show him she had put on 9000 steps just walking from booth to booth. Michelle then appeared and showed me how she likes to attach it to her sneaker shoelaces. The coach finished up by showing me how to reset it to zero.

Not once did I see Janelle rise up from her chair.

I'm just going to say this. Logan was the friendliest person I met that day besides the LLR lady. He has a killer smile and a great personality. Michelle was also very friendly. They make a fantastic couple. I actually enjoyed talking to them both, but the only downside was they didn't clinch the deal with telling me about the Strive with Janelle program.

By this point, BFF had totally abandoned me, so I decided, what the hell. I walked over to where Janelle was sitting and starting looking at a big card talking about Strive. Nope, not one word from Janelle. Michelle came over and gave me a Strive with Janelle ink pen. Still no response from Janelle.

I then picked up a Strive with Janelle business card (that listed Janelle as the President of the company) and at that point, Janelle made eye contact with me and smiled as I said hello.

Now mind you, I just bought a pedometer, I looked over her Strive material, I even got a damn ink pen. AND I was holding a LuLaRoe bag that her sister wife was involved in. Lots of opportunity to start up a conversation that could possibly lead up to a sale, don't you think?

All I got was a smile and hello. I walked away thinking, jeez, was she there to hustle her Strive program or to sit there on her duff and pass up a prime opportunity to get my $90 for a year's membership?

Yep Janelle. That graying old black lady with the LuLaRoe bag who bought a pedometer was Cynical Jinx. Glad to finally meet you in person.

Here's a picture of my take aways for the day!



Thursday, March 2, 2017

I Scour the Internet: The Good, the Sad, and the Weirdly Fugly Edition for March 3rd, 2017

In case some of you have been out of the Sister Wives loop for a couple seasons, and let's be real, I don't blame your absence at all, our favorite ex-Mrs Kody Brown has stepped up to the plate to hit a financial home run with her newest MLM venture.

Yeppers, Meri has drunk the LuLaRoe kool-aid, and she likes it!

Well, I think she does, at any rate.

And it appears she is very successful in this latest venture. Too bad she hasn't partnered with her sisterwives Robyn and her less than illustrious online store MSWC, nor with Janelle (affectionately known as Jangle here in CJ's Living Room) and her venture to STRIVE for better health and well-being with her health tips and encouragement blog.

True to Brown Family form, Meri continues to be a day late and a dollar short when capitalizing on her sister wives fame to make a quick buck by showing the monogamists of the world how sisterwives can be successful and empowered women despite sharing the same neanderthal for a husband.

So, I searched out the internet to get the scoop on this rather hot MLM that almost everyone is talking about.

Here is a sampling of what I found.


LuLaRoe, as described on the company's website, was created by its founder DeAnne Stidman to "...provide an opportunity for people to create freedom by selling comfortable, affordable, stylish clothing, and offering its Retailers the independence to set their own pace and schedule."

Funny how there is only the tiniest mention that this company was the latest in Stidman's adventures in "network-based marketing" more commonly known as multi-level marketing...aka MLM.

Ah...the plot thickens...

Beyond all the empowerment hype, there is the daunting realization that, in order to get one's foot in the LLR door,  an initial investment of almost $5000.00 (for the all important onboarding box) is required for the privilege to start selling the LLR inventory as a "consultant"  at pop-ups and social media live events.

Oh, and did I mention, consultants have no say in the lovely patterns or colors that LLR ships to them?

Oh yeah. This can quickly get very, very ugly pretty darn quick.

I mean, with LIV (the other MLM the Browns are involved with), you pretty much knew that each product was the same for everyone. With LLR, some consultants might get the coveted solid black leggings, while others might get prints only their ancient great-grandmother could love.

Even with these negatives, women are falling literally all over themselves to get onto the LLR bandwagon. Here's a video I found on You-tube of a typical LLR fanatic describing her first week of sales.

The Good...





Oh, and she was so excited she completely forgot about her onboarding box! Shame on her!





This gal's enthusiasm almost made ME want to get on that LLR bandwagon with her!

But wait, there's more!


The Sad...


From  the happy happy joy joy enthusiasm we can segue to the reality for most of the women yearning to be consultants, mainly, how do you finance the expensive $5000 outlay for that onboarding box?

Here's how one consultant met that challenge...







If you prefer to put all your eggs into one basket by quitting your day job, you might end up like this hapless LLR consultant wannabe...






But wait...there's more!

It seems LLR has been in the news a lot recently. From a class action lawsuit to customers dissatisfaction with leggings ripping themselves apart, LLR has receive a lot of negative attention.


Here are links to some news articles detailing LLR's recent woes:

LuLaRoe's Business Is Booming But Some Sellers Are Fuming


Fashion marketer LuLaRoe sued over sales tax charges


This clothing company is facing claims that its 'pants rip like wet toilet paper'

And here's a fun read about what happens when your LLR leggings decide to go rogue at Disney World!


LULAROE FOR TRAVEL: THAT TIME MY PANTS DISINTEGRATED IN DISNEY WORLD




Last but not least, we come to the final section...

The Weirdly Fugly


Here's another video I found that summarizes the LLR phenomenon.  A little bit of LLR history, and a lot of how LLR works for the woman who decides to place an order...






So there you have it. The Good, The Sad and the Weirdly Fugly world of LuLaRoe.

Makes me wonder what Meri really thinks about her newest venture. Hmmmmmm....Let's hope she can keep it positive because those McMansions don't pay for themselves!

That's all for now, and remember I Scour the Internet so YOU can make an informed choice before laying out your hard earned megabucks for air-conditioned leggings!




Sunday, January 29, 2017

Sister Wives Finale Live Tweet Party! for January 29th, 2017

I am ready for this season to be over!

From the looks of Kody and his Kodette's tweets, they are ready, too.

Last week they were no shows on Twitter. Who knows if they'll pick up their phones tonight to tweet sweet nothings to their quickly dwindling audience. 

And it doesn't help their cause that  Food Network Guy Fieri's Triple D Finale will also be telecast during prime time tonight. 

Gee, what will I watch? Guy Fieri or Kody and Kompany rehashing their latest season, which was nothing more than rehashes of the previous seasons. 

Hmmm....such a hard choice to make. But I bet y'all the Browns will give their full attention to...wait for it...wait for it...anything but their Reality Show!! 

Before we start our own festivities tonight, let's look at some "notable" Brown tweets from this week.

Well, isn't this interesting? Not only is MSWC still doing business, someone was smart enough to advertise a Valentine's Day Sale more than two weeks in advance!

Better run and stock up on their wares now, while you still can!





Meanwhile, Meri has gone into hiding    uptraining this weekend for her newest selling adventure, LuLaRoe. 




Back in the cul-de-sac, Kody was busy tweeting out his views to his unsuspecting followers.

In what has come to be the quintessential Kody Brown behavior of always being a day late and a dollar short, he pledged to Papa Joe Darger that Yes, the Browns will attend a march against marriage control in Utah in about two weeks. 

Wasn't the failure of the Brown's lawsuit the reason for this renewed effort by Utah polygamy activists? So, why is it Papa Joe who's spearheading this protest march and not Mr Polygamist in Vegas "I Have Four Wives" Kody Brown? Hmmmm......

Apparently while Papa Joe is the face of polygamy,  Kody continues to be it's rear end. 'Nuf said.



Kody's next tweet is kind of sweet. On one hand, he sounds excited about the birth of his first grandchild, but he could have left off the part about the rocking chair. Now all the fans are going to start sending rocking chairs to the cul-de-sac! NOT!!



Now that  SCOTUS has refused to hear the Brown's lawsuit, their pro bono attorney has gone on to bigger and better things. I wonder if Turley responded to Kody's tweet?



And finally, leave it to Jangle to remind everyone to watch the Sister Wives Finale tonight. Sister, if tonight's Part 2 is anything like the snooze fest Part 1, y'all are in some deep ratings you know what!!


Wait, is that the sound of channels changing from TLC to the Super Bowl?





Hey, it's almost Party Time!

Satisfy your need to discuss the show here in the comfort of my living room!



Kody: Who needs the Super Bowl when I've got 4 wives? #SuperBowlIsNextSunday

It's Sister Wives  L I V E  T W E E T  P A R T Y  T I M E   !!!


Prepare yourself for MORE Mr. Robyn Brown  BLOVIATING!!


Kody: Robyn, is it OK I watch the Food Network instead of Sister Wives tonight? #SisterWivesSeasonFinale


Will the current Mrs. Kody Brown tweet more than one tweet tonight?


I need Tall and Curvy for my extra long legs, but I can still fit Original Size! #YeahRight #BeAfraidBeVeryAfraid



GET SET FOR MORE SISTER WIVES FUN AND GAMES!!!


You look more like a Tall and Curvy than an Original Size to me! 
#JustSayin #LessonLearned



Gird up your loins!
Sister Wives is on the snark menu in My Living Room Tonight!!!

DON'T FORGET TO WEAR YOUR ICONIC MSWC JEWELRY AND YOUR BEST LLR LEGGINGS!
#WhoNeedsBananasWhenYouGotKody

LET THE SNARKING BEGIN!!!





























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