Something rotten is festering in the Sister Wives Cul-de-Sac.
In the early seasons, the audience was shown that, although the Kody Brown family consisted of a man, his Original Three Wives plus a brand new fourth wife and all their combined "bonus" children, this religion-based polygamous family was just like every other family.
Or was it?
We followed a goofy husband, played by Kody Brown with an enthusiasm bordering on manic, gingerly traipse through the minefield of dealing with four women.
We watched as a very pregnant Christine, helped by her sister wives Janelle and Meri, set up an well-worn baby crib in her sparsely furnished bedroom while their "husband" Kody wooed and courted a woman he blatantly called his "girlfriend" - a woman named Robyn who inconveniently lived a couple of hours south of the Brown's Lehi homestead.
We watched Kody driving his expensive Lexus convertible, even though his wives were shown driving cars held together with faith, and duct tape. A lot of duct tape.
And then, as the cherry on top of a three scoop polygamist sundae, we watched as Kody married his fair maiden Robyn, and then embarked on an extended honeymoon to San Diego.
An expensive honeymoon, courtesy of TLC. An expensive honeymoon that Kody's Original Three wives never had.
We watched in disbelief as Kody announced plans to move away from Lehi. Seemingly without a thought to the financial as well as mental costs, Kody chose to uproot his children from their friends and school, away from their church and extended family to the "promise land" of Las Vegas Nevada.
It quickly became clear Sister Wives was not about the women in a polygamous marriage, but about the HUSBAND. Scenes of Kody driving breathlessly from one wife's rental house to another became commonplace. Eventually when the Browns moved into their overpriced, barn-like McMansions in a gated cul-de-sac, we were treated with scenes of Kody running from McMansion to McMansion, with his stringy, greasy, thinning hair blowing in the breeze he's artificially created.
Tyra Banks would be proud...Kody's even got the smize down pat!
But even a smizing Kody Brown was not enough to keep viewers...viewing.
Thus, the annual Kody Brown Family Road Trip was born. Plyg-vacation starring the polygamist Joe Darger Family. The "Let's Copy Big Love Roadtrip" along the Mormon Trail, followed by the Route 66 trip to meet the polygamist Nathaneal Richards family in Missouri. And more recently, the Montana Road Trip to Hell where Kody not only showed how he REALLY feels about Christine, but gave viewers the opportunity to meet gun-loving polygamist Nathan Collier.
It's summertime again, and we are suffering through a "drought" of reality shows featuring polygamists. My Five Wives was cancelled due to low ratings. Season Two of Polygamy, USA never materialized.
Rumors started. Is Sister Wives next on the chopping block?
After all the shenanigans from the past couple of weeks, I'm almost willing to say "Yes! Please, TLC, put the audience out of it's misery by cancelling Sister Wives. Puleeeeezzzeee????"
This summer has been excruciating. Following the adult Browns on Twitter and Facebook during the off season has become a major chore. One would need a roadmap to maneuver through all the bull excrement left festering in the middle of the road by the social media incompetent Kody and his Ko-dypendants
©.
But what's really weird? Kody appeared to be the SANE one of the bunch, with Robyn and Meri leading the pack of cray cray on the loose with 24/7/365 unsupervised access to Twitter!
I venture to add, if Robyn and Meri were to suddenly disappear from social media altogether, They. Wouldn't. Be. Missed.
Without going into too much detail (because I simply don't want to discuss "entities" that have not, and according to Robyn, will never appear on Sister Wives), I'll address some of those big old Pink Elephants parked all over my living rooms.
Is Meri having an affair?
If she is, surely she could have done better. The social media imposters highlighted on MTV's Catfish Show are more believable. Is that Twitter guy the best she can do? Damn!!!
Did Meri leave the cul-de-sac forever?
Do chickens have teeth? And for the record, I always thought for something to be confirmed, it should be actually...confirmed. You know, by a
reliable source or two. For example, in the case of the recent breakup of Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck, not only were there 'rumors' of a breakup, there was the report of 'His and hers moving vans' seen outside their home. Meri left...for a vacation, apparently. Big difference. I'll believe it when I see it on Huffington Post.
Why did Robyn recently tweet...
Your guess is as good as mine, because later she wrote this on the TLC Official Sister Wives Facebook fanpage...
Really? Then WHO, pray tell? This will probably come to Robyn and Meri as a surprise, but sometimes, when communicating with a lot of people, you can't be too vague or coy in your comments. I'm beginning to believe this habitual vagueness is actually a defense mechanism used by sister wives (in a passive aggressive way of course) to stick it to another sister wife. Wake up and smell the Postum percolating. Most people grow out of this kind of passive aggressive behavior as teenagers. When you are an adult, and you have a beef against someone, tell them direct! And please don't use Twitter to deliver the message!
Are these shenanigans a plan for keeping fans interested in Sister Wives during the long, hot and boring summer?
It's beginning to look that way. Even the announcement of Robyn being pregnant with Kody's second legitimate child (thanks to Meri paving the way for Kody to marry Missy Robyn by divorcing him) didn't get people all hyped up for the next season. If anything, the announcement brought out some feelings that Robyn held out getting pregnant until Kody made her his legal spouse. And for reference, this was played out fictionally in the HBO series "Big Love", when Bill divorced long suffering wife Barb in order to marry spiritual wife Nicki Grant so he could legally adopt Nicki's daughter Cara Lynn. It didn't turn out well for Bill.
Why did Kody acknowledge Meri's friendship with her Twitter "friend"?
I don't think he did that intentionally. For some reason, I see Robyn nonchalantly saying to Kody "Hey hon, since you're watching Batman on TV, how about tweeting what he means to you to your followers?" And Kody obliged....
To which Meri's Twitter boy pal tweeted this meme in response...
Now THAT's maturity! We can only hope SOMEONE jumps on this opportunity to stage a knock down, drag out confrontation right in the cul-de-sac. The loser can clean up all that bull excrement!
So there you have it. Now if you'll excuse me, those pink elephants were cute, but they left a heck of a mess in my living rooms.
And what are YOUR thoughts?
Cynical Jinx
photos: TLC, FB, Twitter
For those of you following Twitter, here's a Twitter feed that might interest you...
Will he come through and be a Hero? Or a Joker?
