Saturday, February 13, 2016

I Scour the Internet: The Happy Valentine's Day Edition for 2/14/16

Can we talk?

Ok, I've got to get this off my ample chest (while I sit on my equally ample rear-end) before I simply burst.

What the heck is Robyn and her brain-challenged husband (Kody, aka Mr. Robyn Brown) doing with their supposed cash-cow, My Sisterwife's Closet?

In this day of social media, these supposed business partners have only sent out ONE message in the past 30  days advertising Robyn's hobby business.

All right, I understand the current legal Mrs Kody Brown recently gave birth to Princess Areola, but heck, she's got a full-time nanny in the form of relative Mindy, right? And it appears Meri has stepped up babysitting for the young, narcissist in the making King Sol, now that her "love" affairs with Kody and a stalker/catfisher are no more.

So what's the deelio with that junk...excuse me...junque jewelry store (with some other junque thrown in) and the almost complete lack of advertising?

It's now the day before Valentine's Day, and this is the best Robyn (in the form of My Sisterwife's Closet Twitter) could muster, way back on February 1st...



Call me silly (Ms. Ritz-Carlton if you're nasty) but, if I were a semi-famous reality show star, wouldn't I want to have more than one lonely tweet advertising my online store that supposedly helps pay for my McMansion and my addiction to the "finer" things in life like Victoria Secret clothing (for my extra long legs)?

I would be a tweeting fool. There, I said it. I would tweet so much, I'd get warnings from Twitter about spamming. Heck, I'd tweet so much my friends would wonder what the heck was wrong with me...well, actually they wouldn't wonder cuz they would already know...I'M HUSTLING TO MAKE A BUCK!!!

But apparently the entitled Robyn simply feels SHE doesn't need to go to the unwashed masses, because THEY will gravitate towards her wonderful, warm personality. She is, after all, the new legal wife of Kody Brown. Well, maybe her newness has finally eroded away since it's been over a year since they got hitched. And I don't care how many Honeymoon Experiences Robyn is making Kody endure, it's GOT to be getting old by now.

Kind of the way fish does, after a week.

So here's a message from Earth to Robyn, whose brain must be floating around somewhere in the Celestial Upper Atmosphere. Take control of your business. Make an effort to drum up some traffic to your website. Use your notoriety to get your followers to visit your hobby store, because if you don't, you won't have to worry about fixing a broken website anymore.

rant/off

The new Mrs Kody Brown did take time out of her busy busy day to tweet this warning...uh...meme to her many fans this week. Funny, wouldn't it be more appropriate to tweet about, oh I don't know...MY SISTERWIFE'S CLOSET??? I mean, c'mon, at least make an effort, know what I mean? Sheesh!!!





Let's get back to the Original Three Ssterwives, shall we?

"Jangle" Brown appears to have taken the lead in keeping the thousands of Brown Family fans informed about what's going on in the cul-de-sac of horrors.

There's the obligatory shout out to her son Hunter, on his birthday:



And of course, the obligatory "look close or you'll miss it" tweet informing fans how the Browns watch the Super Bowl...notice how Jangle includes her obligatory mention of food...




There's the obligatory tweet exclaiming how much Jangle is enjoying life in Las Vegas land...




And here is Jangle's obligatory subliminal "I need some lovin' NOW" tweet to her spiritual hubby Kody...it simply doesn't have the same impact as Meri's old "Lover" tweets from years ago...




Last but not least, Jangle musters up the courage to mention Valentine's Day. Funny, how can someone wish Happy Valentine's Day and not mention the father of her six children, baby Daddy (aka the Sperminator) Mr. Kody "I married  Robyn , what's YOUR excuse" Brown:




Yep, Kody's a caveman all right...no argument there!!!


And now for something entirely different, looks like Logan's found himself a keeper just in time for Valentine's Day! Following in the footsteps of old dad, only without the multiplicity.



Looks like Janelle took yet another road trip...yep, when the going gets tough, the tough goes to Lake Havasu to check out the Bridge! (PS, it isn't the REAL London bridge, but it is a real bridge from London, brought over piece by piece)







Well, that's all for now. Happy Valentine's Day Everybody, and remember:

I Scour the Internet, so you can spend time eating yummy chocolate things for Valentine's Day! Stay tuned for any Valentine's Day updates from our "favorite" polygamist, Kody and his Kody-pendents!!!

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Sunday, January 31, 2016

I Scour the Internet: The Pre-GroundHog Day Edition for January 31st, 2016

Well, since my last edition, not much has been happening with our favorite polygamists, Kody and his Kodettes. Wait, let me clarify, nothing much has been happening on  TWITTER with the Kody Klan.

I suppose with the new little Princess occupying all of her Mommie and Daddy Dearest's time, the original three wives have been left on their own, to do whatever they please. Christine went back to her fainting couch, while Meri, most likely in response to the that ole' catfisher and her work of fiction/non-fiction (she seemed to be a bit confused in her Introduction) finally, FINALLY being published, and then promptly becoming available for free in all it's one hundred and fifty pages (that's 150 in case the ole' catfisher is reading this) "glory", Meri took to hiding out in her McMansion until it all blows over apparently.

Meri honey, never fear. It was a bunch of horribly written nothing. In the future, if someone asks you to take a selfie - whether dressed, or in the tub, or even eating a piece of fruit, please, please tell them to get a life and to shove their request where the sun don't shine, okay?

Isn't it ironic that "former" close family friend and rabid Robyn supporter JYD (that's My Living Room's loving nickname for her) found it necessary to tweet this? I suppose just ignoring the comments never crossed her mind, but for someone who has been all up in the Brown's stuff, including pictures with Robyn, appearing on the show, and maintaining Facebook groups on the topic of Sister Wives for the past five years or so, she leaves a lot of room calling another person obsessed and a loser, don't you agree?

C'mon, JYD. Be happy. You've hooked your wagon up with an obsessed catfisher, can't you be happy just to live and let live?

And did I mention the catfisher dedicated her one hundred fifty page pamphlet to JYD? Yep, she sure did...

'Nuff said...


Meanwhile, back at the cul-de-sac, the current Mrs. Kody Brown decided to change her Twitter background AND her profile picture. I really don't see the connection between a laughing Mongolian child and her camel with filling one's mind with faith rather than worry, but oh well...See what happens when you have an aimless woman with a newborn and a SuperNanny to take care of her kids and lots of time on her hands?



Meanwhile, Mrs. Kody Brown also took the time to tweet this message to her followers. Hm....does it seem Missy Brown is trying a bit too hard to portray herself as Mother of the Year? You can bet her McMansion IS the happiest McMansion in the cul-de-sac, hands down! The Original Three Sister Wives got the marks of Robyn's highheels on their backs to prove it!



All hail the legal Mrs. Kody Brown and BOW down to her magnificence! NOW or risk her stink-eye!!





Let's take a look at some of Meri's tweets. Mind you, she hasn't tweeted since January 19th, but boy oh boy, these are some interesting tweets!

Remember when she used to tweet those sweet nothings to Kody on his birthday? How she called him "lover"? Well, now she's all business. No more of that silly sappiness. Kind of sad, isn't it?




Call me silly, but I suppose her Sister Wives don't qualify as a fun group of humans. They're SISTER WIVES, dammit!! Who can't stand to share the same kitchen let alone live in the same McMansion with each other!





I wonder if Meri took this picture when she ventured to Disneyland with the catfisher last year? Funny how it was Meri's last tweet for January...hmmm....




Back at Jangle's household, she's just keeping it real. Tweets about food, her new dog, and a quick trip to Hoover Dam to get away for a day. Hmmmmm.....I wonder why she needed to get away? Oh wait, King Kody and his Kween Robyn....'nuff said.



Who would've thunk Jangle's eldest son loves to swig some aged scotch? In a bedroom? Next to a bed? With his Girlfriend? And a bottle of scotch? While waiting to party?? Oh my!!!

ps...Logan honey, the party is usually found in your pants, know what I mean?





Well thank's all for now, and remember: I Scour the Internet, so YOU can party with Punxsutawney Phil on Tuesday!!



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Saturday, January 16, 2016

I Scour The Internet: The Pre-MLK Holiday Edition for January 16th, 2016

Hey, it's a new year and the first 2016 edition of I Scour the Internet!

And unless you've been hiding under the same rock Kody and his Kodettes tend to use, Robyn "Fertile Myrtle" "Mommie Dearest" "The NEW Legal Mrs Kody Brown" pushed out baby girl Brownie from her nether regions to meet the waiting world.

The only question I have is, if the baby was born on January 10th, why did the Browns (that's Kody and Robyn y'all) wait 72 hours before announcing her birth?

Was it because the photographer had to be flown in special from People Magazine?

Did the film crew and producers demand the attention seeking super duo of Kody and his lovely wifey Robyn keep their traps shut and not go blabbing the brownies birth to their fans?

Or were they afraid that catfishing person might pop on over to the cul-de-sac to make a surprise visit to the McMansions (avoiding Meri's of course)?

Who knows for sure. But what's certain is when the adult Browns twitter activity suddenly disappeared or slowed down to a crawl with a retweet here and there, we the audience were savvy enough to realize something was up.

And think about it. How do we know that baby wasn't born 2 weeks earlier? A month earlier?

I want to see a birth certificate!

So while we wait (and wait and wait) for Kody and his Kween to fulfill my request, let's check out the latest tweets from those nutty Las Vegas polygamists...

First off, we have Robyn (that sly minx) fanning the flames surrounding the question of the Century, did baby Brown pop out yet?....






I mean, come on Mommie Dearest, do you really think baby girl Brown was ready to crawl into that Brown mess stinking up the cul-de-sac? She probably took a quick peep out, and said "Hell no! I'm staying in here!" dug in her tiny heels and refused to budge any further...

But sometimes Mother Nature (not to mention Mommie Dearest Robyn) takes over, and the rest becomes history...




Let's check out some tweets from the Original Three Sister Wives, shall we?

Almost Runaway Wife (and former legal wife) Meri tweeted this sweet picture to her followers:



No doubt SuperNanny Mindy was standing nearby to snatch little baby girl Brown from the clutches of that "Jezebel" Meri before she could contaminate the poor child with her not so awesome inability to distinguish between a real millionaire and a fake one.

A day later, Meri tweeted this delightful picture of a concoction King Sol created. Yep, King Sol's middle name isn't Kody for nothing!




And this just in, baby girl Brown's name is Areola Mae Brown!! OOPSY, my bad! Ariella Mae Brown!

Here's a link to the "exclusive" People Magazine article...

Sister Wives' Robyn Brown Reveals the Name of Her New Baby Daughter


I wonder how much Kody and his Kween got for that "exclusive" announcement? I'm sure the announcement of the baby's first poop and spit up can't be far behind...

Let's just skip over Kody's embarrassing pseudo-intellectual political retweetings. We get it. You're dumb, you like guns and you're ultra-conservative. Thank you.

You know all those embarrassing bad "gossip" sites that popped up recently on Google News? One of them had a glaring error. Janelle Brown was called Jangle Brown, and not corrected.

Well, Jangle Brown seems to fit Janelle so well, I've decided that Janelle will be known as "Jangle" Brown in both Living Rooms.

Yeah, I know it's petty, but that's just how I like to roll, know what I mean?

Jangle got hooked into Powerball fever this week...




I mean, do you blame her wanting to pick up a ticket or two (hundred)? Especially when you've got a deadbeat spiritual husband named Kody, who passed you over in order to make his 4th "wife" legal, and then promptly impregnated her with his eighteenth child.

A woman's got to do what she's got to do to remain financially stable during these...troubling times...right?

Last but certainly not least, Christine raised herself from her "fainting couch" long enough to tweet this acknowledgement to the photographer of Robyn's post delivery People Magazine article.



Isn't it amazing how good the Original Three Wives look? And Christine is looking especially happy in the photo.

Robyn, on the other hand looks oddly, less than enthused. Could it be Mommie Dearest wanted a photoshoot all to herself, and not include that pesty group of sisterwives?

Chin up, Robyn! Your sisterwives are looking good. Let them enjoy this moment, OK??

Well, that's all for now. And remember, I Scour the Internet so YOU can enjoy your three-day weekend!


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