Saturday, July 18, 2015

I Scour the Internet: The Post Independence Day Edition for July 19th 2015




Question:

When is the Air Force Academy not the Air Force Academy?

Answer:

When it's the Air Force Academy Prep School!





Say Whut??? But I thought...

Yep, y'all. It's true.

But first, some background...

Remember that day the Brown's tweeted those pictures of recent HS grad Hunter sitting in a conference room signing his life away....uh...I mean signing his Academy appointment papers?



Like any nosy person, back in May I popped over to the AF Academy's Official Website and read that Basic Cadet Training for the 2019 class would begin on June 25th and continue for 90 days until Parent's Day in September.

When June 25 came and went with nary a mention from  Janelle, Kody, and the rest of the sister wives parental units, I figured this would be yet another infamous Sister Wives Brown Family trip - this time to Colorado Springs - to send Hunter on his way.

And then, on July 14th, Janelle tweeted this:



Whoa...hold the phone! Basic Cadet Training started on June 25th, so what's going on? A living room member named Cheryl pointed out, maybe, he was accepted into the AF Academy Prep school instead of the actual AF Academy. I hadn't heard of the Prep school so of course, I let my finger do the clicking on the Official link she provided.

Lo and behold, there IS something called the AF Academy Prep School. In fact, apparently ALL of the service academies (you know, Annapolis, West Point) have Prep schools.

Who would've thunk it?

And guess who makes up a majority of the students attending? Yep, top HS athletes who did not get accepted into the more academically rigorous AF Academy, in this case. In recent years, the service academy prep schools have come under fire because of some questionable decisions - the same misdeeds universities were accused of  when it became known some top athletes never attended classes but still managed to stay in school with a barely passing GPA...or worse, graduating with a degree while being totally illiterate.

Now, the AF Academy Prep School isn't a walk in the park. A HS student can't apply directly to attend the Prep school: They still go through the actual AF Academy application process and be declined admittance  -BUT-  If they have compelling attributes (like being a star State athlete like Hunter) they could be admitted to the Prep School instead. Prep School students are still required to maintain certain academic and physical requirements for 10 months, as well as being required to join the Air Force Reserve. At the end of their 10 month Prep journey, they only have a 75-80% chance of being accepted into the AF Academy. Which is still pretty good odds considering 10 months earlier they were denied admittance.

But I maintained hope that Hunter was accepted into the actual AF Academy and maybe Janelle was doing one of those patented Brown Family smoke and mirrors, song and dance routines.

That hope all went out the window the next day when Janelle tweeted this -  erasing all doubt what school Hunter would be attending for the next 10 months:


Good Luck Hunter! Here's hoping in 10 months you are successful in being accepted at the AF Academy!

Some interesting links for further reading:

The United States Air Force Academy Preparatory School


NYTimes: The Military Prep School Scam


Military academies, including AFA, face criticism for using prep schools to fill athletic teams


In other Twitter News...


Over a month ago, Meri was acting like some giddy fifteen year old teenager on Twitter. Then, suddenly, her Twitter went dark on July 9th. This was her next to last tweet that day...


Holy catfish, Batman!




YIKES!!! 


Well, I'm happy to report Meri has come back to Twitter life acting a bit more appropriately for a middle-aged polygamist who happens to be a spiritual wife of Kody Brown after becoming the ex-Mrs Kody Brown in order for sister wife Robyn to step into the legal role as the New and now very Pregnant Mrs. Kody Brown.

Hmmm....now I wonder who Meri was thinking about when she tweeted this little gem?


That's all for now. And remember, I Scour the Internet, so YOU can listen one more time to "The Joker" by the Steve Miller Band and "Money (Makes the World Go 'Round)" from Cabaret. Enjoy!!!!









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Sunday, July 5, 2015

Sister Wives: Should TLC Pull the Plug?

Something rotten is festering in the Sister Wives Cul-de-Sac.


In the early seasons, the audience was shown that, although the  Kody Brown family consisted of a man, his Original Three Wives plus a brand new fourth wife and all their combined "bonus" children, this religion-based polygamous family was just like every other family.

Or was it?

We followed a goofy husband, played by Kody Brown with an enthusiasm bordering on manic, gingerly traipse through the minefield of dealing with four women.



We watched as a very pregnant Christine, helped by her sister wives Janelle and Meri, set up an well-worn  baby crib in her sparsely furnished bedroom while their "husband" Kody wooed and courted a woman he blatantly called his "girlfriend" - a woman named Robyn who inconveniently lived a couple of hours south of the Brown's Lehi homestead.





We watched Kody driving his expensive Lexus convertible, even though his wives were shown driving cars held together with faith, and duct tape. A lot of duct tape.







And then, as the cherry on top of a three scoop polygamist sundae, we watched as Kody married his fair maiden Robyn, and then embarked on an extended honeymoon to San Diego.

An expensive honeymoon, courtesy of TLC. An expensive honeymoon that Kody's Original Three wives never had.



We watched in disbelief as Kody announced plans to move away from Lehi. Seemingly without a thought to the financial as well as mental costs, Kody chose to uproot his  children from their friends and school, away from their church and extended family to the "promise land" of Las Vegas Nevada.

It quickly became clear Sister Wives was not about the women in a polygamous marriage, but about the HUSBAND. Scenes of Kody driving breathlessly from one wife's rental house to another became commonplace. Eventually when the Browns moved into their overpriced, barn-like McMansions in a gated cul-de-sac, we were treated with scenes of Kody running from McMansion to McMansion, with his stringy, greasy,  thinning hair blowing in the breeze he's artificially created.




Tyra Banks would be proud...Kody's even got the smize down pat!

But even a smizing Kody Brown was not enough to keep viewers...viewing.





Thus, the annual Kody Brown Family Road Trip was born. Plyg-vacation starring the polygamist Joe Darger Family. The "Let's Copy Big Love Roadtrip" along the Mormon Trail, followed by the Route 66 trip to meet the polygamist Nathaneal Richards family in Missouri. And more recently, the Montana Road Trip to Hell where Kody not only showed how he REALLY feels about Christine, but gave viewers the opportunity to meet gun-loving polygamist Nathan Collier.


It's summertime again,  and we are suffering through a "drought" of reality shows featuring polygamists. My Five Wives was cancelled due to low ratings. Season Two of Polygamy, USA never materialized.

Rumors started. Is Sister Wives next on the chopping block?

After all the shenanigans from the past couple of weeks, I'm almost willing to say "Yes! Please, TLC, put the audience out of it's misery by cancelling Sister Wives. Puleeeeezzzeee????"

This summer has been excruciating. Following the adult Browns on Twitter and Facebook during the off season has become a major chore. One would need a roadmap to maneuver through all the bull excrement left festering in the middle of the road by the social media incompetent Kody and his Ko-dypendants ©.




But what's really weird? Kody appeared to be the SANE one of the bunch, with Robyn and Meri leading the pack of cray cray on the loose with 24/7/365 unsupervised access to Twitter!

I venture to add, if Robyn and Meri were to suddenly disappear from social media altogether, They. Wouldn't. Be. Missed.

Without going into too much detail (because I simply don't want to discuss "entities" that have not, and according to Robyn, will never appear on Sister Wives), I'll address some of those big old Pink Elephants  parked all over my living rooms.









Is Meri having an affair?

If she is, surely she could have done better. The social media imposters highlighted on MTV's Catfish Show are more believable. Is that Twitter guy  the best she can do? Damn!!!

Did Meri leave the cul-de-sac forever?

Do chickens have teeth? And for the record, I always thought for something to be confirmed, it should be actually...confirmed. You know, by a reliable source or two. For example, in the case of the recent breakup of Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck, not only were there 'rumors' of a breakup,  there was the report of 'His and hers moving vans' seen outside their home. Meri left...for a vacation, apparently. Big difference. I'll believe it when I see it on Huffington Post.

Why did Robyn recently tweet...
Your guess is as good as mine, because later she wrote this on  the TLC Official Sister Wives Facebook fanpage...


Really? Then WHO, pray tell? This will probably come to Robyn and Meri as a surprise, but sometimes, when communicating with a lot of people, you can't be too vague or coy in your comments. I'm beginning to believe this habitual vagueness is actually a defense mechanism used by sister wives (in a passive aggressive way of course) to stick it to another sister wife. Wake up and smell the Postum percolating. Most people grow out of this kind of passive aggressive behavior as teenagers. When you are an adult, and you have a beef against someone, tell them direct! And please don't use Twitter to deliver the message!

Are these shenanigans a plan for keeping fans interested in Sister Wives during the long, hot and boring summer?

It's beginning to look that way. Even the announcement of Robyn being pregnant with Kody's second legitimate child (thanks to Meri paving the way for Kody to marry Missy Robyn by divorcing him) didn't get people all hyped up for the next season. If anything, the announcement brought out some feelings that Robyn held out getting pregnant until Kody made her his legal spouse. And for reference, this was played out fictionally in the HBO series "Big Love",  when Bill divorced long suffering wife Barb in order to marry spiritual wife Nicki Grant so he could legally adopt Nicki's daughter Cara Lynn. It didn't turn out well for Bill.

Why did Kody acknowledge Meri's friendship with her Twitter "friend"?

I don't think he did that intentionally. For some reason, I see Robyn nonchalantly saying to Kody "Hey hon, since you're watching Batman on TV, how about tweeting what he means to you to your followers?" And Kody obliged....



To which Meri's Twitter boy pal tweeted this meme in response...


Now THAT's maturity! We can only hope SOMEONE jumps on this opportunity to stage a knock down, drag out confrontation right in the cul-de-sac. The loser can clean up all that bull excrement!


So there you have it. Now if you'll excuse me, those pink elephants were cute, but they left a heck of a mess in my living rooms.

And what are YOUR thoughts?


Cynical Jinx



photos: TLC, FB, Twitter



For those of you following Twitter, here's a Twitter feed that might interest you...

Will he come through and be a Hero? Or a Joker?




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Thursday, June 11, 2015

UPDATED!!!! I Scour the Internet The Pre Summer Solstice/ Father's Day Edition for June 12th, 2015

Holy Guacamole, it's only the beginning of summer with three months to go before the new season of Sister Wives.

I'll tell you one thing. I simply can't WAIT for another scandal to hit TLC. Last year it was Honey Boo Boo. Last month, the Duggars went down...really down. So who's betting on the Sister Wives being next?

We all now know that the supposed "leaking" of Meri's divorce and Kody's remarriage to that vixen 4th wife Robyn Sullivan Brown was all about the ratings. And it was successful, too. Ratings for the Sister Wives finale soared to levels unseen since the beginning seasons. Unfortunately, the struggling My Five Wives saw it's viewership sink below the one million viewers mark.  Despite various "compelling" storylines including Lonie's pregnancy and Rosemary's allegations against her father, the show was summarily canceled.

So now we're left with three more months of polygamous free TLC programming. And it's a bore, let me tell you.

Meri admiring her flowers...from a "friend"

Of course, you'd think the Kody Krew© would step up on their tweeting, or whatever social medium that would influence the most number of people to tune in next September. And for a while, Meri and her side kick and legal status beneficiary Robyn did step up to the plate.

Robyn started her strangely narcissistic I Likey fanpage on Facebook while Meri embarked on an embarrassing display of teenage angst and puppy love by barraging her followers with hundreds of motivational sayings in the attempt to remain positive about her "situation" while simultaneously  carrying on a  Twitter "friendship" with a male "friend", complete with flowers being sent to her, because...well, just because.

And throughout this mess, Kody has remained eerily silent. Almost as if he could care less what his spiritual wife was doing online, and with whom.

We can only hope he is too busy courting his fifth wife. For  the ratings, of course...




So let's get going on the social media presence of the Brown's so far this month.

We shall begin with this week's edition of....

The Tao of the Former Legal Mrs. Kody Brown







I now feel enlightened, empowered, and strangely craving peanut butter fritos with a Kool-Aid chaser. How about you?


Back to reality, Meri seems to be the only sister wife, besides Robyn of course, that tweets pictures of Robyn's mischievous little King Sol.








Whoa...is that a KNIFE on that chair? And is it me or is that carpeting looking a bit...worn? Maybe it's the gosh awful color...Anyway, who doesn't imagine if this had been another bonus child, Meri would not have been so cheerful, considering the colossal effort required to cleanup that mess.

Looks like Meri's followers aren't the only ones noticing her Twitter "friendship" with The Joker, aka George Glass. But, alas, the infatuation has faded big time. In the May 24th edition of I Scour, Mr. G was riding the high wave of unbridled friendship with Meri and a lot of hubris thrown in for good measure. But alas,  looks like Mr. G had to clean house on followers after Robyn's JYD decided to follow him on Twitter, no doubt to spy. Wow, that was  a smart move being he only had 37 followers !!

Leave it to Robyn "I'm the new family sheriff in the cul-de-sac" Brown to knock this "budding" relationship down a notch or two on her Likey fanpage.



You can almost hear her screaming to whoever is within earshot how he's got a lot of nerve, especially when he deftly cleaned out his followers (including Robyn's JYD) all within 24 hours of JYD's sudden appearance. Let's hope Robyn and her JYD aren't government spies.

Stealth and subtlety  are not their forte...And now Meri has drastically cut back on her overly gleeful twitter convos with her "friend" and he appears to have drifted on to other people, mainly his "girlfriend". But don't worry, Meri still converses with her friend, only more discreetly. The way it should have been in the beginning.


On a more cheerful note, last Friday Hunter graduated from High School! There weren't a lot of pictures, but hopefully it was filmed for the show. I want to see Hunter's graduation party in the cul-de-sac! It's a tradition of the show!!












How sad that Hunter's Daddy Dearest did NOT tweet any congratulations, choosing to retweet his wives congrats instead. But he did take time to retweet this message from Meri, which was rather ironic considering she most likely tweeted this in retaliation for all the "rumor mongering" about her Twitter friendship, even though she flaunted that friendship for almost a month and then abruptly ended her twitter chatter once Robyn and her JYD got wind of it...



Makes me wonder who the real haters, fools and idiots are. Hint: They reside in a gated cul-de-sac.

Finally, from our friend at The Principle (F-LDS), there is an excerpt of a sermon from Marvin Jessop on the future of the AUB after the allegations presented by Rosemary Williams. He is the leader of the AUB in Pinesdale MT.

The Principle (F-LDS)



UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE
6/19/15


That's riggggghttt!!!! Robyn is preggers, this time with Kody's second legitimate child being that he made Robyn an honest woman last December 2014. Let's just hope it's not the case of Robyn finally going through with being a surrogate to carry a fertilized egg of Meri and ex-husband Kody.

How much you want to bet the next season of Sister Wives will make no mention of the supposed legal fight between the new Mr. Robyn Brown and Robyn's ex-husband for parental rights. Yeah, that was a dumb storyline that, like a majority of Kody and Krew's actions, wasn't well thought out.

Save up your grocery money, Original Three Wives. With a pregnant Robyn and Kody at the head of the family, it is guaranteed to be an extremely bumpy ride going forward!

Poor Meri. All that hell she must be going through. No wonder she retweets with all those damn  sayings. And let's not forget while Kody was undoubtedly spending all his time with his newest Mrs (how ELSE did she get pregnant, I ask you), holding her ....um....head while she no doubt suffered morning sickness (Yeah, that's the ticket!)  poor Meri had to placate her loneliness by accepting flowers from a Twitter friend (as described by Robyn, who eagerly cleared up any misperceptions this Joker may have had of ever appearing on Sister Wives).

Actually, I think Meri's Twitter friend should be featured on an episode of Sister Wives. You heard of the Thrilla in Manila? Well it could be the Battle of the Vegans, with Kody representing Las Vegas and Meri's George Glass representing all those Vegans who still yearned for the richness of pot roast gravy in their Vegan stew, wrestling for the "love" of fair maiden Meri. Right in the cul-de-sac. Winner take all.

But just compare the picture of Meri with her flowers with this picture from People Magazine. What a difference. Poor Meri looks like she'd rather be having 5 root canals with no anesthesia. Such a sad, sad picture...

One last thing, historically Kody starts courting when a wife is pregnant, so can we hope that Kody stays true to his polygamous form and starts courting his 5th??? A Vegas showgirl who just happens to be a Vegan, too? Pretty please, TLC???? Can you just imagine the meltdown Robyn would have? Which explains that epic Twitter meltdown Robyn had a few months back.  Robyn ALWAYS has a Twitter meltdown when she's pregnant! Her baby bump is pretty evident, don't you think? I wonder if she was already pregnant when she had her last meltdown (complete with those ridiculous selfies she took).

The Browns may have saved their show with this latest pregnancy. And how convenient to announce the Friday before Father's Day Sunday!


Well, that's all for now. And remember, I Scour the Internet so YOU can spend your time reading about the Duggars!

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