Welcome everyone to the first ever Plyggie Awards!
Before we start the award presentations, let's enjoy a musical interlude from Utah's finest house band, and the choice band of Meri Brown...Give it up for VAN LADY LOVE!!!
(Warning: Typical Utah cover band music. Play at your own risk)
Let's give out the first award, shall we?
The candidates for this award were the strongest we've ever seen. In fact, each had a look that could stop a clock dead at 20 paces.
They were:
 |
| Paulie "I Pay The Bills, B****" Williams |
 |
| Nonie "Don't Change Me!(cuz I'm cray cray)" Williams |
and...
 |
| Robyn "Don't Call Me Sweetie" Brown |
Come on down here and collect your hard earned 'Plyggie' while we show some more examples of your best work!
Who can forget Robyn's face while she waited "patiently" for Mona the Psychic to finish with Kody. Guess she didn't like that prediction about Kody bringing in a 5th.
It's interesting how Robyn faulted Kody for telling the truth rather than herself for secretly going behind her future sisterwive's backs by having Kody decide about the dress.
But my favorite has to be the royal "We are not amused" face Robyn sported after Christine had her way with her during the taping of the Tell All episode this last season.
Suffice to say if looks could kill, Christine would be cooling her jets in the Celestial Kingdom if Robyn had her way! But her hair looked FABULOUS!
The next category is...
The Overall Best, Worst Case of Conspicuous Consumption by a Polygamist Family
The lucky candidates were...
 |
| The 72 oz Steak Challenge - Kody Brown Family |
 |
| The ReCommitment Ceremony - Kody Brown Family |
I love when Kody looks like he's about to upchuck...don't you?
Kody gives klowns and the need to ReCommit a bad name...
and of course...those lovely oversized, cheaply made barns collectively known as The Kody Brown McMansions behind the Gated Cul-de-Sac...
 |
Aerial Map of the Cul-de-sac Courtesy Bing.com
|
And the Award For The Overall Best, Worst Case of Conspicuous Consumption by a Polygamist Family goes to...The Kody Brown McMansions!
Kody, come on down and collect your 'Plyggie' while you still can!
While we wait for Kody to gather his wits (and his wives) here's a brief replay of the history of the Kody's McMansions.
The McMansions were born out of the need for Kody to provide each of his four wives a home so that they would not have to bump butts in the kitchen with Meri. At least that's what Kody told a disbelieving Papa Joe Darger and his three wives - who make do in one kitchen under one roof in a house about the same size of one McMansion.
And who can forget the sight of a jubilant Kody, leaving his scent in the dirt around the four cul-de-sac lots.
Who would've thunk from such humble beginnings...
Kody Brown would eventually end up in these four truly awful representations of the American Dream, Polygamist style.
No Day Job...Three Million Dollars in Mortgages...No Worries, right Kody?
Next up...
The Overall Best, Worst Case of Loose Lips Sinking Ships
The candidates were...
 |
| Rebecca Richard |
Meri may not do weird, but according to Rebecca she knows polygamist that do. I suppose a husband and his wives sharing a bed together saves on having to buy bedroom furniture for each wife, right?
 |
| Kody "I Picked Out Robyn's Wedding Dress" Brown |
and, of course...
 |
| Christine "I'm A Great Liar" Brown |
And the Award for The Overall Best, Worst Case of Loose Lips Sinking Ships goes to...Christine Brown! Hands down, baby!!!
While Christine slowly makes her way through the crowd of monogamist sharks and toasters, let's take a look at some of her better Loose Lips moments....
Who can forget Christine's proud proclamation that she was the family liar while playing goofy golf a couple of seasons ago?
Or how she "playfully" mentioned at the mortgage application meeting how she sometimes forgets to pay important bills. You know, like electricity, water, rent...THOSE kind of bills.
But her most egregious acts of loose lips occurred this last season when she...
1) Told the venture capitalists that if given too much money for My Sisterwife's Closet, the Browns may not want to work hard...
and...
2) Proudly proclaimed in the Route 66 road trip episode that "Plygs like free stuff..." She also chuckled how a Route 66 restaurant had to clean up their mess left over from Truely's birthday party.
Yes siree, Christine is certainly a positive voice for Polygamy world-wide!
Next up are the categories honoring those wonderful supporting characters that appeared in polygamist reality shows.
Lets honor the important second fiddlers!!
The candidates for The Overall Best, Worst Performance of a Female Polygamist in a Supporting Role were...
Rebecca "Thompson" from Polygamy, USA
A bit flirty and playful, she loves her wine and playing card games with her sister wife Marlene.
Also from Polygamy, USA we have Kellie "Thompson". According to her faith, when asked by the Brethren who she wanted as her mate in this life and the afterlife, she told them the lucky guy was the good-looking Hyrum "Burton". After a short courtship, they were married. Oh, and she giggles, a lot...
and...
Rosemary Williams, who just never seemed to get a break. If it wasn't Paulie interrupting her night with Brady (Paulie's window was stuck...) it was Brady being "concerned" about her being overweight. It just seemed like Rosemary was forever getting the short end of the quality time with Brady stick last season...
Now this was a real close vote, with only one point separating the winner from 2nd place. Yep, looks like...
The Award for the Overall Best, Worst Performance of a Female Polygamist in a Supporting Role goes to Rosemary Williams!
The next category is...
The Overall Best, Worst Performance of a Male Polygamist in a Supporting Role.
And the 'Plyggie' goes to the late Winn Brown !
No doubt this man not only played a part in making Kody what he is today, but he obviously saw through Kody's façade early on. Isn't it ironic that the one story Kody related about Winn was when his father gave him a pair of thermal underwear instead of a Letterman's sweater he wanted. Giftwrapped in a Letterman's sweater box.
Before we tackle the last two categories, let's take a look at High Fashion: Polygamist Style!
Polygamy, USA
Michael Cawley and two of his wives showing the audience their Sunday Best...
Polygamy, USA
Marlene "Thompson" putting all us monogamist harlots on notice that not only does she have legs that go on for miles, she can rock a pair of eight inch platform heels, too.
But the polygamists with the most questionable fashion sense has got to be those Merry Wives of Kodydom...Kody, Meri, Christine, Robyn and Janelle!!!
Meri completely disregarded the Polygamist's Motto: Modest is Hottest in this unfortunate photo.
And it's apparent that although Kody "lives" out of four separate homes, not one has an iron he could use on his forever wrinkled shirts.
Off the show, Meri was photographed wearing this turquoise bandage dress with a black shrug and black leggings...
Oy vey...
Christine tends to go for the layered look. Which would be OK if you're a prepubescent teenager...
And Robyn (courtesy of her best bud from the San Francisco road trip) thinks she is a fashionista...ummmm...we don't think so.
But what exactly was Meri and Janelle thinking when they wore these fashion faux pas to the ReCommit Ceremony?
Brain bleach, anyone????
Now for our last two categories!
The candidates for The Overall Best, Worst Performance of a Female Polygamist in a Leading Role were...
Nonie Williams
She works for hubby Brady's company so she sees him more often than his other wives. When sisterwife Rhonda decided to adopt, Nonie one upped her by wanting another baby, too. The old fashion way with Brady, demanding even more of Brady's time.
Robyn Brown
and
Meri Brown
Her nonchalantly cleaning her counter top while Kody was on the phone telling her Truely was in kidney failure was "iconic".
The Award for the Overall Best, Worst Performance of a Female Polygamist in a Leading Role goes to...Meri Brown!!
While Meri elbows her way through the crowd to collect her 'Plyggie', let's take a look at the many faces of Meri...
Meri, you know you deserve this 'Plyggie' so quit your sniveling. You can go back to tweeting about VanLadyLove in a few minutes, OK???
Last but certainly not least, we have the final category...
The Overall Best, Worst Performance of a Male Polygamist in a Leading Role.
There were only two contenders:
From Polygamy, USA - Michael Cawley
His version of bedtime stories implanted the lurid vision of monogamist harlots walking the streets in his children's impressionable minds. And who could forget his "bright" idea to house his excess progeny in shipping containers placed in his backyard? Applesauce anyone?
and
The totally unforgettable (and I know you've tried)...
KODY BROWN from Sister Wives!!
And the award goes to...by a friggin' LANDSLIDE!!!
The man who appears in 99% of the scenes shown on his reality show named for his wives. The man whose ego knows no boundaries. Who thinks his jewelry designs are "iconic" and therefore deserving of the ridiculously high price he has placed on them. Who suckered not only four women to marry him, but four mortgage companies to finance his 'McMansions in a Gated Cul-de-Sac Dream' located in Las Vegas, his Plymouth Rock of the West! Yep, we are talkin'...
KODY BROWN !!
Get your middle-aged flabby buns on down here!
As Kody slowly makes his way through the crowd, carrying son Sol with one arm while shoving away his adoring fans with the other...
Let's take a look at Kody showing us what he does best!
Nothing can follow that Brown mess!
And that concludes the 'Plyggie Awards' for 2014 !!! Many thanks to everyone taking the time to vote!!!
LOL!!!
ReplyDeleteOh, CJ, you are brilliant!!!
ReplyDeleteRe: Christine: as she "slowly makes her way through the crowd of monogamist sharks and toasters.." (Ha! Ha!)
And, Kody: "Get your middle-aged flabby buns on down here!
As Kody slowly makes his way through the crowd, carrying son Sol with one arm while shoving away his adoring fans with the other..." Then the picture of Kody running between the houses---LOL!!!
The Oscars need YOU, CJ!
Those pics are totally priceless!!!
ReplyDeletegreat job
ReplyDeletePerfect cj, these were great. I only fear that these awards will only serve to encourage the nominees. Lol, this bunch need no encouragement. Quick question, I know that LV is a desert and that water is scarce but what is going on in the arial shot of the homes? Two girls get grass? (Which ones????) and the other families just get plain dirt and maybe a time capsule? Sheesh, it seems like kodes could take some of his flush cash and put In a pool or some shade!
ReplyDeleteTwo girls get grass? (Which ones????)
DeleteThe grassy area is between Meri's (on the bottom) and Robyn's (on the right) McMansions. The big rectangular thing along the lower right of the grassy area was the pergola featured in the ReCommit Ceremony episode, as was the grassy area where the guests were seated.
I believe Las Vegas has an ordinance that allows for limited grass areas only (Vegas is a desert after all) so that's why the front yards only have desert landscaping. There's no excuse, however, for the miserable backyards except possibly the money for backyard landscaping was used for Disneyland trips instead.
I would rather have a pool than grass. Grass is not cheap in the desert and a pool would be good exercise for all of the wives and kids.
DeleteI guess trailer trash is happy enough to use the neighbor's pool? I would have taken a pool over a wet bar, hobby room, grass, a bus stop pergola and 50 trips to Disneyland. They make the strangest decisions.
DeleteYes they should install a pool. Unless they can't? You can put Disney on a card. A pool company wants cash.
DeleteYes they should install a pool. Unless they can't?
DeleteHow much you want to bet Kody said no to a pool because it would have to go in the area between Meri's and Janelle's McMansions and that would affect resale value unless someone is looking to buy two McMansions that shares a pool. I'm hoping there's an ordinance against it - and they have neighbor Bill and Deirdre's pool they can use.
I agree that they would rather spend the money on Disneyland, and I still think they are charging all those trips and making minimum payments on multiple credit cards until the show ends, then they'll just blithely file bankruptcies and go their merry way.
DeletePlus a pool requires work, maintenance, etc. and we all know how much the Browns hate to do that kind of stuff. Witness Christine's rental home or the way their Lehi house looked after they moved out. Why bother with all that pool crap when they can just go a few hundred feet to the neighbors?
Also, just getting a pool doesn't mean they're going to get exercise as a result, unless they opt for a lap pool.
It just seems to me that it us further proof that they have no intention of staying in the houses. If they were really going to "live" there, wouldn't they make it their own? Is anything real in this? The marriages are fake, the relationships are fake and the houses are just an elaborate set. On the Kody Robyn thing. . .i wonder if he didn't take her (and Sol) of course on the LIV convention trip. He must be some kind of rock star to the MLM charlatans. Maybe that is why they were missed. Maybe he stayed a few extra days to make it a special time for Robyn.
DeleteOnly LIV didn't have a Hawaii convention. Hawaii was a conference call meeting. The cruise went to Catalina Island and probably last only the weekend.
DeleteI understand about Las Vegas' requirements limiting grass in landscaping. But wouldn't a pool be similarly expensive. Where I live, people with pools pay a water premium rate because fresh-water pools challenge the our aquifers. Plus, there's a nice swimming beach within a 20 minute drive of anyone's home in my town, so why bother with the cost and maintenance of a pool. (BTW, I live in Honolulu).
DeleteBut wouldn't a pool be similarly expensive.
DeleteAbsolutely it would be expensive. The backyards are nothing but dirt and rocks - no landscaping at all. And because those houses are so doggone huge, there's very little backyard for a pool. Except between Meri's and Janelle's McMansions. Even so, I don't think they can afford the building, landscaping or maintenance costs of a pool big enough to accommodate 4 families.
C J, you have exceeded yourself with the Plyggies! Well done, indeed. Might we have an honorary Plyggie for Michael Cawley for "most likely to give corrections officers the heebie-jeebies"?
ReplyDeleteAnd the Plyggie Snark Award for Most Wine Ever Spit ona Keyboard goes to.... got2bdrc! Well done.....Golf clap...
DeleteI am deeply in love with those Brown fashion pictures. I don't know what's wrong with me but I rarely notice what they're wearing on the show unless they're pointing it out (like the commitment ceremony dresses). I guess the horror of their lives trumps the horror of their wardrobes. I'm grateful for the opportunity to snicker without the distraction of whatever nonsense they're spewing. I could have used a few more pics of Kody running though. Thanks for a great post, CJ!
ReplyDeleteCJ, thank you for the hilarious presentation of the Plyggies! You make the world of polygamy ROCK!
ReplyDeleteGreat Plyggies! Some of those were tough choices!!
ReplyDeleteAs a side note to the 'running through the backyards' Kody: One of my all-time favorite religious songs used to be, "Come Thy Fount of Every Blessing." Needless, to say, I can't hear it now without thinking of dear Kody running. Sigh... lol
CJ, GRRREAT Job !!!!
ReplyDeletePics and quips were perfectly synced !!!!
Bravo !!!
Gotta say...
Van Lady Love is one of those bands that needs to only play *short* sets. Their "sound" is monotonous and unremarkable, and could get grating real quickly. Lead singer's voice is kind of pitchy.
But then again, by all tweet appearences, Meri probably isn't listening as much as salivating.
Oh my gosh! I laughed so hard, that was awesome!
ReplyDeleteHow did I never see Meri in that horrid bandage dress and leggings?! Are there no full length mirrors in the house?? My eyes!!! My eyes!!!! Pass the brain bleach!!
I am a little disappointed that my write in for Kody the Klown on best resting bitch face didn't win, but at least he was nominated! I have high hope for him to win that category next season! Cause he's by far the biggest bitch of them all.
LMAO!!!!
Meri would look so much better if she just went up a few sizes in clothes. Most of her clothing choices are ok to cute, but the are all too small.
Delete"Who can forget Christine's proud proclamation that she was the family liar while playing goofy golf a couple of seasons ago?"
ReplyDeleteI missed that, too! How did I miss something that significant? Maybe I am so overwhelmed by the plethora of stupidity displayed by that mock family that I just can't take it all in? Or maybe they just all lie so much I didn't notice her proclaiming herself the queen of all liars? I just assumed Kody was the queen....
"I just assumed Kody was the queen....""
DeleteLOVE it !! Ha !!!
All of these women have worn some truly hideous clothes. The Brown wives take the cake for awful clothing choices though. How can they watch themselves on t.v. and think they look good? Someone really needs to pull Meri aside and nicely tell her that she will look so much better if she goes up a few sizes in clothing. Wearing too tight clothing when you are heavy is a major no no.
ReplyDeleteLol! The stills are so telling about the true nature of these dysfunctional relationships. The ones of Meri and Kody are my favorite, they deserved their Plyggies. Great job, CJ!
ReplyDeleteLOL! Brilliant!
ReplyDeleteHilarious. Great Job! I laughed till I cried.
ReplyDeleteCongrats to Robyn on her Plyggie Award...still wondering where she's hiding that award winning face these days! All the pictures are so funny- especially the one where Kody morphed into a wild dingo and ran around spreading his scent on the house lots. That was some seriously strange behavior!
ReplyDeleteI think you should design some ironically iconic awards to give out to the winners. Maybe a little crown like the one that Kody wore in the Las Vegas Surprise episode. The winners all need something to place on their trophy shelves or fireplace mantles honoring their achievements.
ReplyDeleteHow will the winners get them? FedEx to the cul-de-sac? Now that would be interesting!
DeleteOh my gosh. That crown (Burger King hat) was the most hilarious thing. How could any adult other than Kody wear that with a straight face!!!
DeleteFans mail maple syrup to the cul-de-sac.
just send "cookies" to the winners! send them cash on delivery and overcharge for shipping of course.
DeleteOMG!!! I'm still cracking up & LOL!!! I'm reading this on my tablet in bed & every time I bursted out laughing, my hubby grunted....haha
ReplyDeleteGenius writing and the pics are hilarious & on point! Esp the pic of Kody ( I picked out Robyn's dress)
Great job CJ :)
Thanks everyone for voting! My pleasure!
ReplyDeleteMuch appreciated, BB!
DeleteThis truly had me laughing out loud! CJ, you are so talented. I bet the Dargers are reading this and cracking up about those "other" plyg families!
ReplyDelete;-)
Off topic.....sort of...
ReplyDeleteJust watched my DVR edition of Jersey HW's Teresa and Joe talking about their recent verdict.
Teresa does look and sound shell-shocked about her 15 month sentence. Joe is obviously still struggling with the reality that the *party* is really over for them. They both will do time.
But what struck me is when the interviewer repeated what Teresa apparently said recently that their show was "scripted". She looked surprised and uncomfortable that he actually said it.... and that he was obviously waiting for some feedback to his statement.
BUT...she didn't deny it and she also didn't elaborate in any way.... basically ignoring his statement. The topic had no follow up.
Which left me with a sense of reality and validation because many of us here on CJ's blog absolutely feel that SW is most definitely scripted. The plots and accompanying dialogues are just too pact, too ridiculous, too contrived to fill any given episode. (think Kody's hormones in your mouth performance)
*Reality* show are anything but.
However, these people who sign on to do them for the money, and/or for the ego trip, are agreeing to dupe the public with producer driven scripts while they happily and scruple-lessly bank their paychecks.
The Plyggie Awards are a perfect example of "performances" by reality stars and Scripted Storylines courtesy of the shows producers.
Just think of Meri and Kody's utter BS episode of "Meri goes to college" !!!!
Can't imagine how bizarre it will have to be to justify another SW season.... and paying sponsors.
But what struck me is when the interviewer repeated what Teresa apparently said recently that their show was "scripted"
DeleteThe interviewer was none other than Andy Cohen, the Exec Producer and creative force behind the Real Housewives franchises. (I also thought he was a VP of Bravo too). Anyway, of course RH is scripted and Andy knows it. Andy took offense that Teresa tried to put the blame of her legal troubles on the show's script rather than her own stupidity and hubris. And he called her out on it. He's protecting his franchise so that question to her was calculated, just like when he asked her if she was worried she would lose her temper while incarcerated. She does have a really bad temper and actually THREW Andy out of her way to get to Danielle Staub during the 2nd season reunion show. Losing her temper in prison would not be good, and how "kind" of Andy to remind the viewing audience (and possibly the federal prison officials) Tre is a figher.
Don't worry. Andy will follow up on her claims "the show made me do it" until he is satisfied RH has been totally absolved of any wrongdoing concerning the Giudices. Andy knows he's got a goldmine with Teresa and Juicy Joe right now...they desperately need money and can't afford to lose their spot on RHoNJ so expect to see more interviews (part two is next week) with a RH script following the Giudices as they prepare to do their time in da big house.
Supposedly Andy Cohen was seen later that night celebrating his interview with the Giudices. The article said he was ecstatically happy about it.
That's why the Browns should be quaking in their boots right now. If necessary, TLC could coerce the production company's film editors to show more of the cracks in the façade of their lives in the cul-de-sac to increase the ratings. I remember a twitter conversation between Janelle and the Dargers when they were being considered for a reality show. Janelle told them how wonderful their producers were, and how if the Browns didn't want something to be shown, the producers made sure the scenes were cut. Well, those days are long gone - the tide turned when Brady and his 5 wives appeared on the scene. So if SW has any hopes of continuing beyond the next season, they are going to have to amp up the drama...adding another wife (or at least a courtship), a baby, and severe financial problems.
these people who sign on to do them for the money, and/or for the ego trip, are agreeing to dupe the public with producer driven scripts while they happily and scruple-lessly bank their paychecks.
You have hit the nail on the head, Amused! Kody thinks he's smart, just like the Giudices did, but in reality the networks are way way smarter. They are dealing with network devils and won't find out until it's too late! And the network will then start promoting the next flavor of the month.
I wonder if the producers will secure the OK to film prison visits to Teresa with Joe and the kids (talk about a goldmine shoot) and with other relatives and friends from the show.
DeleteImagining the other housewives all dolled up to visit Teresa !!
What producer would not want that for ratings !!! This agenda could keep that show hopping for several years !!
I predict that the next season will begin filming immediately, so Bravo can capture all the heartbreaking moments before Teresa reports for her year+ in the hoosegow. Then, they will follow along with Juicy Joe (now besties with cousin Rosie) as he navigates the difficulties of parenthood by himself. I can picture it now. Rosie comes over with a bottle of vino only to find the kids hanging from the rafters and Joe with a toilet brush in his hand screaming for some peace and quiet. Gia will grow even more beautiful as the tragic heroine as she gets the kids up for school by herself and fixes all their thrifty bagged lunches in the modest alley kitchen in their new (rental) home (in Franklin Lakes of course). Melissa will insinuate herself into the role of the "favorite" aunt as she attends some random dance rehearsal and brings the girls on a field trip to a nail salon. Amber will be filmed lighting a candle at church, blessing herself backwards with the holy water. Dina will actually visit Teresa in the pokey, and they will film the indignity of her having to remove her jewelry and accessories before entering the visiting room. She will bring a gift basket of "essentials" like chanel face cream and memory foam shower shoes. The twins will stage a giant vacation in Ibiza in an attempt to remain relevant. 2/3 of the cast will be secretly filing bankruptcy, and Kathy and Rich will continue to grow fat and happy with their lovely family and her growing cannoli empire. I can't wait to watch!
DeleteAnonymous, I love your version of events for Teresa and Joe once Terersa goes to jail!
DeleteI truly do feel terrible for their kids....and I think Gia will step up and help with her sister's as much as she can.....and considering her age that is VERY impressive! I know they'll surely get a female figure in their lives on a daily basis to help.......I just wonder who it will be....I just don't see Joe being able to handle the kids on his own.....let's be real now!
It will be curious to see how Teresa is when she gets out of jail.......I bet she'll serve a year or less....then be home............and then Joe's turn........and if he gets deported I wonder if Teresa and the girls will go with him.......or if that will do in their marriage.........
There is still alot to to be seen with their situation.......and I know Bravo/Andy are going to exploit them and make as much money off them as they can.......it's truly like watching the aftermath of a bad train wreck........
I hope at some point in their lives they can move forward and teach their girls a better way of life than they have so far. I think they are two people who let their "fame" go to their heads.....and did things they knew they shouldn't have.....but thought they were above the law..........I remember watching Teresa shopping for her house in the early days and thought to myself that he must really make alot of money! Well........now we know where the money was coming from.......suddently my lifestyle doesn't seem so depressing.......I'm not living lavishly.....but I'm also not going to prison for fraud!
Regarding Teresa and Joe: maybe they could be featured on episodes of "Lockup: Raw".
DeleteRegarding Teresa and Joe: maybe they could be featured on episodes of "Lockup: Raw".
DeleteI betcha Andy Cohen and Bravo are working on that as we type...
Don't forget...Tonight is Part Two of Andy's interview with the Giudices if you're interested...Check your local listings for the showtime!
Delete"I betcha Andy Cohen and Bravo are working on that as we type..."
No kidding !!! ]
The producer gluttons will move mountains if need be to get *that* gig.
And sad to say, between needing the money, having egos the size of NJ, and Teresa's appalling lack of smarts or even common sense, the two of them *will* sign on for it all if it can be negotiated.
I know the kids can come off as indulged, entitled, loud brats, but they are a product of their environment and parenting. I feel sorry for them.
Orange is the New Housewife...I smell a marketing opportunity.
DeleteThe ads are starting for "My Five Wives." Wonder how much weeping there will be? Ewww---and they show Brady kissing each "wife." Ewwww. IHow do these women stand this---especially when there is no religious reason for continuing on in the "lifestyle?"
ReplyDeleteFor so long I steadfastly proclaimed that I would not add another season of "5 Wives" to my viewing repertoire, but I concede that my resolve is fading fast as the start date approaches.
Delete(Help me Spock...help me)
Ah, Bemused Bystander, you remember the Enterprise's adventure in "The Savage Curtain." MrSpock would like to help you, but believe this is as trick as a true Plyg Follower would not cry out so.
DeleteI'm only watching b/c of the train wreck factor. Admittedly, that's the only reason why I continue to watch the Brown Klowns... Watching the train wreck unravel until it comes to a screeching halt ;)
DeleteWatching it for the train wreck factor as well.
DeleteOh my! I loved it! I've been moving over the past two weeks and have had no internet service, thus I've missed my daily intake of snark. Coming back online to the Plyggies was a wonderful way to get back into the swing of things. Great, great job, CJ! :)
ReplyDeleteQuery: In the commercials for the new season of My Five Wives, MrSpock thought he/she heard Brady say that he had an idea, and that idea was "double dates," --- then showing him "out" with two wives! Did MrSpock see/hear that correctly? Anyone? If so, MrSpock thinks this cannot end well.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure it will end in tears, that's a 100% chance on every single episode.
DeleteI thought, "this is the first step, the next will be beyond just a date" That guy is creepy (of course so is Kody the kreep) and I think he's leading up to a threesome. They left the religion so that isn't holding him back. And he's supposedly broke so he should be desperate to stay on tv. Look how much talk was generated by the "Christian polygamists" when they said they know people who share a bed. Even if they don't really do it, they will probably try to make us think that's what they are doing.
Excuse me, I have brain matter to bleach.
Two words: Manufactured Drama.
Delete- Lori
I agree with you, the men are always grinning and looking smug. In the latest advert for My 5 Wives watch his face when he says "I'm a polygamist!" How about when Kody said something about three of his mock wives being pregnant at the same time and Robyn grins and says "Way to go, guy!" Guess it is supposed to be macho and prove his manhood? (Ya, having a bunch of kids out of wedlock that you can't even support is really manly)
ReplyDeleteThose kids are rebellious teens right now. It's cool to say you are the exact opposite of your parents and you will never, ever be like them. But as you said, there is indoctrination when you are raised in that cult. Hopefully they got out and into society in enough time that they will not revert back to their upbringing.
The Browns say that they are fine with their kids choosing whatever religion and lifestyle they want. The Browns lie like rugs. I bet you a pot full of mock tapioca that behind the scenes the parents are ramming polygamy down the kids' throats.
Agree. They make fun of the "monogamist" at every turn. I have no doubt they are shoving polygamy down the kids' throats.
ReplyDeleteI fear the Brown girls will end up marrying jerks since they have a jerk father for a role model.
The Plyg masters' smug smirks when parading their harem has always bothered me. And it always overshadows whatever attempt any of them do to suggest it is for religious or cultural reasons. No question the sexual component is a huge part of it all.
ReplyDeleteA human version of chest thumping that *they* are super virile and super capable of impregnating......may as well carry clubs and wear bear hides
Brady's MO is even more annoying than Kody's. Kody is a "what you see is what you get" loser. He isn't smart enough to fabricate having airs or insights, or anything resembling intelligent awareness. He is easy to dislike and even easier to dismiss.
Brady is a skilled "pretender.". He has just enough savvy to be cunning and manipulative.
Brady plays each one of his harem, and is smart enough to know what each woman's weak spot is.....meanwhile maintaining his image as a good, overworked, *sensitive* guy just trying to keep everyone happy and sexually sated.
Brady is a player. He likes to play with people's heads and control with psych babble and poor me whines....and of course....plentiful Love-ya hugs all around.
Where as, Kody is just a transparent career narcissist Me-me !!! Gimme-gimme !!
Well done, CJ! I've enjoy your writing for a while, but never commented, however I had to follow up on Meri's recommitment ceremony dress. Stunned! I wanted to leap through the television screen and shake Meri by the shoulders, yelling "what the heck were you thinking?" Her dress was absolutely awful. Bad style, terrible color for her....just butt ugly.
ReplyDeleteYou are so, unfortunately, right, Anonymous 11:29 PM. Each time my eyeballs fall upon the dresses worn by Meri, Christine and Janelle for the re-commitment ceremony, the Galaxy shudders. MrSpock does not claim to be a sartorial example, but there are attractive clothes out there for women of all sizes and ages. MrSpock is somewhat surprised that TLC did not provide a little behind-the-scenes fashion assistance to the ladies---but, then, in this instance, maybe we did have REAL reality TV and TLC just let the unfortunate dress choices go forward.
DeleteWhat made Meri think that dress looked good on her? She must be in denial about her size. I think Christine and Janelle just wore the dresses to be nice to the girl who made them.
DeleteIt was funny that Kody didn't like Robyn's dress at the commitment ceremony when I thought it was easily the cutest and most appropriate.
Doesn't this family have mirrors? Why didn't one of the kids say something? The boutique and dress making episodes were utterly embarrassing to watch. Boutique shopping? Robyn's modeling? Sketches/doodles of their dresses? Upholstery material chosen for Meri's dress? I think Robyn was laughing at the end because she had something normal to wear and the rest looked like buffoons. I didn't know about Kody not liking Robyn's dress. Maybe he wanted all his wives to look foolish or maybe he wanted a custom designer dress too?
DeleteOY! Haven't they ever heard of Macy's, Lane Bryant, or Torrid? They have a great selection of high quality plus sizes. Then again maybe I am just not hip with High Fashion Polygamist Styles!
Maybe he wanted all his wives to look foolish or maybe he wanted a custom designer dress too?
DeleteI think Kody's problem with Robyn's dress was that she had worn it before at an event and was photographed in it. She was the only wife who was wearing something for the second time and in his twisted mind that meant her dress was second best to the never worn before dresses of the other 3 wives. No matter it was the best looking of the three dresses.
Doesn't this family have mirrors? Why didn't one of the kids say something?
It was so weird because I agree with you - why didn't one of the kids say something? Then I remembered the trip to Big Bear. Remember when Hunter was mad because Robyn and Meri were wasting time putting on makeup when he wanted to go fishing? Janelle told him to be quiet and to "do the good and right thing." I think in their world, that means if you don't have anything good to say, don't say anything at all. So Janelle goes out in a dress that belonged in a Willy Wonka movie and Meri looked like she had lost her mind wearing a dress at least 5 sizes too small while no one says a thing about how foolish they look.
A funny book I read a while back on this topic was "it's not about sex my ass" by Joanne Hanks. She basically admits that sex is a huge part of the appeal for polygamy. These ladies are in denial if they think otherwise. I couldn't imagine allowing my husband to sleep with other women when I couldn't sleep with other men.
ReplyDeleteEven though Sobbin shows little to no sophistication mentally, she does have a canny sense of one-upmanship with the other wives. When she rejected her custom made dress, claiming it didn't fit right, and proceeded to have a phony meltdown of "oh, no, what will I wear" at this 12th hour.......It sure looked like she knew how just how ridiculous and tacky the other three looked.
ReplyDeleteShe knew she had the always appropriate, all-occasion "little black dress" in her closet. And knew she would eclipse the others if she wore it, second time or not.
Sly Sobbin struck again.
That whole storyline was just horrible horrible tv.
DeleteYes indeed. Sly Sobbin' struck again. I think Meri was in cahoots with Sobbin as Meri had her own phony meltdown when the drape/upholstery dress wasn't working out. When Sobbin saw what Meri had picked from the store she probably secretly busted a gut laughing but made Meri think that they both were going to look so much better than Janelle and Christine. Robyn had to drive her dagger in further as she had the gall to cry to King Kody and play the "victim" who was the only one without a new dress. WAAAAH! That is probably why Kody made comments about Robyn's dress. Robyn is manipulative and sociopathic. Sly, Sly, Sly. Thankfully she's as dumb as a doorknob or she would be down right dangerous.
DeleteMeri continually makes the mistake of wearing clothes that are too small for her. I'm sure that it is a huge struggle for her considering how slim she was when the show first started, but she has gained weight. I can say this as a woman who packs a few extra pounds, ALWAYS go up a size if you are in doubt. And you know who told me to go up a size - MY BROTHER. And for that I am forever grateful. I have actually had people comment that I had lost weight when I went a size up. Instead she forever looks like a can of biscuits about to burst.
ReplyDelete"Instead she forever looks like a can of biscuits about to burst. "
DeleteSara,
PERFECT description !!!
ROFL!!!! "Can of biscuits about to burst" That is hilarious!!
DeleteJuicy Joe and Teresa's Part two.....
ReplyDeleteAndy Cohen seemd to be determined to get a few blcokbuster comments from them. He certainly was trying hard to get them to admit to deliberate fraud. And certainly to *still* living a pampered lifestyle even with all the allegations swirling around them this last year.. Also he so,so wanted Teresa to admit to regreting doing the show and to hint that if she wasn't ever on the show then she would have fared better at sentencing. He was angling for useable soundbites, for sure.
What was really disturbing was the conversation about Joe's drinking !! He admited to guzzling 2 to 3 bottles of wine *every* night. And Teresa defends that by saying he does it after the kids go to bed to help him sleep ????? Is she nuts....or really that stupid??
Listening to her go on and on about how all she is counting on is for Joe to be there for their four daughters 24/7 while she is prison was heartfelt, I guess.
BUT...where is the logic in admitting that Joe is wine-soaked every night from early evening on? What if one of the kids has a crisis or a need for a *lucid* parent after hours?.
I don't know.....???
Joe seems resigned that he has to pay the piper, but he still evades the hard questions. . Plus, he has another hearing (and possible additional verdict) on 10/15 for using his brother's ID to get a license or something like that.
Teresa appeared to be medicated (and maybe she needs to be at this point) and just not able to see through the clouds of denial and cya.
When Kody's dad bought him the bad gift wrapped in a school jacket box, that sort of gives you an idea of what mentality Kody was raised under. I think if you compound that touch of sadism with a big dose of arrogance and compound that with a whole hell of a lot of misogyny, you get the picture of what the children and their mothers have lived through. Even if Kody never hits his the women or the children, emotional abuse can leave scars that can go much deeper and hurt much more than the scars of physical abuse. I think that abuse creates a pecking system that some of the kids have, unfortunately, found themselves to be a part of either as the one doing the pecking or the one being pecked. We have seen Janelle's boys lash out to each other, to Christine's kids, and even to Robyn's kids and we have seen the wives do the same to each other...of course, the girls play games with each other that can end, as we've seen, with one getting angry and storming off. I have always hated the term mean girls but in the case of the wives and some of the girls, they by pass the term mean girls and move right into bully. I think it is so sad that Kody and his wife and his baby mamas do not see how their dysfunctional family is a result of the choices they have made and not boys will be boys or Janelle's favorite...teenage testosterone machines. I think it is even sadder that they think their life is normal...that it's normal to be passive aggressive to be mean to pick on to make fun of. And, what is even worse is that they don't know their dysfunction from normal...they think we all live like that...that our kids act like their kids act. I quit feeling sorry for them a while back but I do wish they knew what a functional family was really like.
ReplyDelete" I think it is even sadder that they think their life is normal."
DeleteAnd there in lies the problem with polygamy. Like Maya Angelou said, "You can't do better unless you know better". If you know better then you leave. That's the real reason they separate themselves from the real world and raise their kids to fear monogamists. They know that if their kids ever find out the truth then they will leave their oppressive lifestyle.
Amused, I really love your insight into the Kody/Brady characters.
ReplyDeleteI especially agree with the idea of Brady being smart enough to manipulate effectively. That is one of the reasons I'm having such mixed feelings about tuning in to 5 wives. He has already pulled 5 women out of the religion that they espoused and had been brought up in. That's some powerful mental mayhem right there.
Also repulsing me : the memory of Rosemary and Brady and the "hippo" bedroom talk. Eew.