Monday, March 28, 2016

I Scour the Internet: The Post-Easter Edition for March 28th, 2016





Where in the World are Kody and his Kodettes?







According to this semi-innocuous tweet, Kody and his family were spotted on the Big Island in Hawaii.


Considering Hawaii was the vacation spot Kody and his new Mrs Kody Brown chose to "vacation" soon after his divorcing former wife Meri, how very...um....interesting...yeah that's the word...interesting that production would decide this was the next family vacation spot after Alaska.

Then again, this could be a random, fake tweet. I mean we've all learned, thanks to that little ole catfisher from Shidler OK, that Twitter locations can be spoofed, right?

So where are they? Where are the Browns?

Guess we'll have to wait until the next season to find out, maybe...if there IS a next season.

Until then, let's check out some Twitter tweets from that krazy Kody and his Ko-dypendants.


Jangle has turned out to be the family Twitter tweeter, responsible for keeping those who care informed of what's going on behind those hallowed cul-de-sac gates.

So far, she has tweeted about a bonus young adult's milestone birthday...




Her #3 son Garrison getting spiffied up for a school dance...




Now this next tweet is up for interpretation. I hate to say it (but I will) Jangle's not known for her cooking chops...I mean, Peanut Butter Fritos? Anyway. maybe it's not necessarily cafeteria food driving her kids wanting to cook...



We hit the jackpot with this next tweet. Finally, a new picture of the Princess Areola with her bonus brother Hunter. Now I ask you. Was this just a feelgood snapshot of two siblings, or was it a staged to show how welcomed Kody's newest legal child is with the son who a couple of years ago declared King Sol was not necessary as there were enough children in the family already. You decide....(PS, Kody's got some strong DNA, I tell ya)







Jangle retweeted this tweet from her son Logan's girlfriend. Hmmmm...maybe there's another Brown young adult wedding on the horizon? Well, at least the pictures don't show a glass or bottle of alcohol nearby...



Let's take a short interlude, shall we?

RadarOnline has been milking an interview from Christine's aunt Krystyn Decker for all it's worth.

Now I realize there's not a lot of Brown publicity coming out of the cul-de-sac since the end of the last season, but damn, is it necessary to use such gossip magazine gimmicks to get people to read their articles?

Cases in point, look at the titles, then read the articles. See what I mean? Bait and switch at it's best!!!

‘Sister Wives’ Fakery! Kody & His Wives Faked Storylines For Ratings, Relative Says


‘Sister Wives’ Scandal! Kody & Christine’s Secret Past REVEALED In Never-Before-Seen Photos


and this one is just a big,  NO DUH!!!

Kody’s Wife Christine Is Not ‘Happy’ In ‘Sister Wives’ Marriage, Aunt Claims

Like, does RadarOnline think we're stupid or something? This is OLD news. Krystyn Decker should DECK  the people responsible for writing those articles!


Back to Twitter land....

Poor Maddie is in a quandary trying to figure out why she's getting wedding mags in  the mail...



Gee Maddie, maybe this is the reason?




Just like Mariah and Meri, Maddie the acorn doesn't fall far from the Kody and Jangle tree!


Looks like Logan's got a new legal drinking partner now...







Hey, on the topic of Aspyn, we have a recent tweet showing Christine does indeed leave the cul-de-sac to intermingle with us mere monogamist heathens...Oh, and you've got a lot of hair, Christine. Maybe find a headband that's a bit larger next time?








And finally, the new Mrs. Kody Brown released a new professional photograph of King Sol and the Princess Areola. Psssst...Hunter's candid picture is nicer, but that's my opinion, of course!





This just in, or rather, brought to my attention...

Looks like Meri visited her bestie Elisa while in Hawaii!! Yep, Kody and the rest of the krew weren't around or hiding or something...Hey Meri, if you are reading this, why not stay in Hawaii for a while? Who knows, you might like it!




Many thanks to PolygamySucks for the scoop!



Well, that's all for now. And remember, I Scour the Internet so YOU don't have to!



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Saturday, March 5, 2016

I Scour the Internet: The Post-Multiple Personality Day Edition for March 6th, 2016





I hate to say this, but could those gossip rags be right? Will the next season of Sister Wives ONLY focus on Kody, his blushing legal baby-mama  Robyn, and his newest contribution to the polygamous gene pool, little Princess Areola?

Are the Original Three Wives packing up their meager belongings and and heading back to Utah?

Good grief, I hope NOT!!!

But all the signals are there. Absolutely no new pictures of Kody's little Princess have been leaked out of the cul-de-sac. The Original Three Wives, excluding poor Christine who appears to be permanently out of the picture nowadays, appear to be "living" their lives separate from spiritual hubby Kody nowadays. On Twitter, Janelle has been planning trips, with nary a mention of the love her life, Kody, joining her.

Frankly, I don't blame Mistress Jangle. I mean, we ARE talking Kody, who I doubt would enjoy the simple pleasures of admiring the Irish countryside, or a day trip with daughter Savanah to local tourist destinations, like Hoover Dam or the Grand Canyon.


Yep, old Kody has shown us (you know, the people who actual WATCH their insipid reality show) if the show doesn't center around him or his 2nd legal wife, he doesn't care. Well, unless it involves a gun. Then he can muster up some enthusiasm. A LOT of enthusiasm....


But it's really pathetic that an ole catfisher's faux blog can rustle up more attention and speculation by going mercifully dark for a week, than the recent birth of Kody's now hidden 18th child, the Princess Areola. What's up with that?

Looks like the only thing left besides the obvious Sister Wives Wedding of the Year special episode when Maddie walks down the aisle with her aunt's (by marriage of course) brother this summer, is for TLC  to change the focus from the Original Three Wives, and the wife we so love to dislike (intensely) Robyn, to what will guarantee a home run in the reality TV ratings game.

That's right. Kody needs to start courting his 5th wife. And you know what, if the next season focuses on Kody courting the new love of his life, with  mommie dearest Robyn staging a glorious mental breakdown on Twitter....  Heck yeah, I'll watch that! In a New York minute!

TLC...Bring on wife #5!!!! Puleeeezzzze?????

Here are some candidates...


One of the former FLDS girls from the failed TLC reality show, "Breaking the Faith." The young lady in white must have met Kody before, and is savoring the memory of that experience. Hun, the brain bleach is in the bathroom cabinet, under the sink.


How about one of these nice Utah girls, straight from central casting and also featured in "Breaking the Faith." Those toothy grins would complement Kody's big head genes his offspring tend to inherit, don't you think?


Ramona Singer from Real Housewives of NY is a free woman...and would give Mistress Robyn a run for her cray cray money. Oh, and she's rich and is a businesswoman, too.


Wait up, this will be a winner! How about Kody showing everybody his sensitive side by courting his old wrestling pal? And if he's into guns, it's a double winner for the Kodester, right?

Or he could keep with polygamous tradition and marry one of his mothers-in-law!


See TLC?? If you use a little imagination, the next season could be a true ratings WINNER!!!!

So what's been up on Twitter land?

Uh...not much, unfortunately.

But leave it to Jangle to keep her fans informed. At least informed of what SHE'S been up to, that is...

She was recently featured in an article published in the Las Vegas Review-Journal...I wonder when an article featuring the new Mrs. Kody Brown and MSWC will be published...Anyway, great publicity for Jangle, don't you think?

Of course, Jangle mentions her bucket list vacation locations. Guess Kody will have to suffer going on vacay with Robyn.






What's that, Jangle? Your schedule and the kid's needs, you say? Hm...I wonder where your kid's father was. Oh yeah, he was a newlywed fresh from a Hawaiian vacay, working hard to impregnate his new legal wife. Ah, the joys of being a polygamist sister wife!

And it seems Jangle's spiritual husband is giving her a lot of leeway in managing her alone time  in the evenings...

Of course, Jangle tweeted a picture of cute Savanah, so the Kodster can remember what the dear child looks like...

And there's always a movie date to keep a sister wife properly motivated, right?

This just in. Jangle finally gives an answer to what happen to her doggy, Sasha. But I'm still left wondering, why? Why was the dog miserable? What chaos? Did she eat Kody's favorite pair of shoes? Or is it the obvious, that the cul-de-sac is not fit for human (hence the exodus of all the elder Brown children) nor beast?





Meri has left us a plethora of meaningful memes to think about, and speculate what might be going on in the cul-de-sac...kind of...








pssst...is this a direct dig to ole "Sam the Sham"?







oh yeah...



And what did the former Mrs. Kody Brown have to say about a certain faux person's birthday this week?

How lonely it must be to be an ignored catfish.

So that's all for now, and remember: I Scour the Internet, so you can enjoy entertaining your multiple personalities this weekend!

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