This is the end
My only friend, the end
Of our elaborate plans, the end
The Doors
You know, this has been one really long ride.
For one thing, it is perhaps the first time Sister Wives has completed a season of 19 episodes that WASN'T interrupted by a minimum 6 months hiatus.
At first, I thought WOW...does this mean the Sister Wives production company woke up? Well, no but I think perhaps there may have been some kind of change in management at the top of TLC's pyramid who told F8P enough is enough.
And now that the season is officially over, is it just me or did the adult Browns - every last one of them, not get the usual "Oh aren't they just the most loving family" edit?
I mean we all knew how insufferable Kody was. But this season, Robyn, her former best bud Meri and even Christine joined hubby Kody as being the most clueless polygamists ever to be featured in primetime. The only wife who came out with a halfway decent edit was Janelle, and even then she was shown in a not too flattering light as the doormat wife.
The honeymoon is over....
And then it hit me. Maybe this is the end, my friends. Maybe we won't have the Browns to kick around anymore. Maybe, TLC has kicked Kody's ample butt to the curb one last time and told him "Hey fella! Try to pay for those McMansions with your other job! Hahaha!! Good Luck!"
We could only be so lucky.
So while we ponder the end, let's walk through the highlights of the season finale, appropriately titled "The Commitment Celebration".
The Family Mission Statement
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| Robyn proudly displaying her "badge" of honor. |
I hate Mission Statements. In almost every job I've had, at one point or another we had to waste time creating this useless piece of business rhetoric. And whenever I was asked for my input, I always asked that the mission statement include the phrase "We Came. We Saw. We Kicked Ass."
I think the Browns could have saved a lot of time and aggravation for themselves if they had just asked me to write their Family Mission Statement for them. I think "We Came. We Saw. We Kicked Monogamist Ass! Who Took My Abreva?" would be appropriate since this was the season Robyn continuously put down us lowly monogamists while sporting that cold sore on her lip. I'm surprised she didn't blame her "booboo" on her ex-husband.
The Saga of the Wives Commitment Dresses
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| Nice |
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| Better |
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| And Meri thinks THIS looks GOOD???? |
Whoever thought up this obviously overly scripted storyline should be severely chastised. I mean, TLC should resurrect the Spanish Inquisition's Infamous Grand Inquisitor Tomas de Torquemada to go all medieval on their collective asses.
That's just how much I hated this mess. And I would greatly prefer to watch someone being tortured by a master rather than me being tortured by hideous dresses conceived and constructed by amateurs.
The Browns live in Las Vegas, one of the major entertainment capitals IN THE WORLD. And the best these yahoos could come up with was some poor girl who just graduated from design school to take the Sister Wives horrible designs and make them into presentable garments?
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| Sam's mother Althea had to step in and finish the dresses |
And who believes that Meri and Robyn didn't plan all along to wear something else?
I've seen eliminated dresses on Project Runway that looked better. In the end, Christine looked like she channeled a medievel princess who was fond of the color burnt orange, and her dress looked NOTHING like her original design.
And Janelle, oh my gosh, Janelle's dress was
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| That lump on Janelle's shoulder did NOT go away! |
The sleeves weren't set into the garment correctly. Seriously folks, if you think those gathers and pleats on the sleeve caps were normal, nope they weren't. If the sleeves were suppose to look like that, the right sleeve cap should have matched the left sleeve cap. It did not.
And the back of the dress was so awful, Janelle looked like she had a humpback. Horrific...
Meri's dress was a goner from the get/go, so she went out to a bridal store to pick out a $59.00 special. I thought it was interesting how Kody mentioned that Robyn should have purchased her dress. Really Kody? I think Christine and Janelle should have purchased their dresses, too!
But Meri isn't off the hook. The dress she bought was pretty, but it was way too small. Let me repeat this....IT WAS WAY TOO SMALL!! Just like everything else in Meri's closet, no doubt.
If there is another season, can someone please PLEASE do an intervention with Meri and clean out all those size 12 clothes and replace them with her correct size, size 16-18???? PLEASE????
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| Robyn positively giddy she can wear this dress instead of... |
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| this black and purple monstrosity |
If there is another season, maybe the wives will put their collective feet down and DEMAND they be allowed to use a reputable designer (like maybe a castoff from Project Runway) or buy their clothes off the rack!
Here's a mini fashion show of the final dresses:
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| Meri being outshone by bonus kids |
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| Sol reminds me of a human version of Lisa V's Giggy |
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| The back of Janelle's dress was shameful |
And on the subject of food.....
The Food: Preparation
Meri called upon her sisters and Mother to help create 7000 separate food items for the celebration. There was a selection of savory and sweet items.
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| Meri's mom cutting up cheese...or butter |
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| That's a lot of meatballs...or sausages maybe? |
The Setup....of the Cul-de-Sac Party Venue !!
You know, I have to hand it to Bri. She really was able to turn what could have been a Kody style disaster into a somewhat beautiful event.
Case in point. I never realized how decrepit Kody had allowed those backyards to become. I completely forgot what the jungle of overgrown trees and other crap in the Lehi house's backyard. But somehow I thought Kody and his Kodettes© would take more pride in the McMansion's backyards. After all, we are talking over $2,000,000 in real estate.
So imagine by surprise and dismay that Kody couldn't even bother himself (or have some of his strapping sons) cleanup the weeds and other crap in Robyn's and Meri's shared yard.
Thank goodness Bri made sure the yard was presentable. Even though that bus stop structure maybe could have been a little smaller...
Christine has a problem with interpreting "p" words. When Kody's bromance friend's wife thought Kody might be a pervert, Christine changed to the word to pedophile in her couch interview.
Old habits die hard I guess. For the record, this is a portcullis, Christine...
This is an example of a pergola...
Which for some reason, was expanded to gigantic size for the Celebration...
So I think we should just call it the Kody Brown Family Bus Stop from now on to avoid any confusion...
When Bri was finished, the venue for the Celebration was very nice. Even Kody's stupid lights were a nice touch, too.
But let's get back to the food.
The Food: Consumption
I thought the food spread was very nice. Or maybe the only reason I felt that way was because I hadn't eaten all day. Anyway, even Trainer Sean took a few samples to nosh on...
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| Does this guy ever stop with the stupid antics? |
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| Hey Trainer Sean, leave some food for the rest of the guests! |
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| What??? No green Kool-Aid??? |
I keep thinking I'm forgetting something...
Oh yeah....
THE COMMITMENT CELEBRATION
I really don't get what the hell they are celebrating. Thank you.
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| The Procession of the Kody Brown Family begins... |
Wilde at one of the tables. Looks like a lot of family showed up to celebrate: Kody's mother Genielle, his youngest brother, Janelle's mother Sheryl and Meri's mother, sisters and one brother-in-law (who I assume was the MC because he was shown introducing the elder Teens special gift to their parents) and Robyn's mother. I think I even saw Sam and her mother Althea, Bri and definitely the neighbor with the pool.
Of course there were some mopey moments provided by a choked up Kody and a tear-choked Robyn as each adult Brown read a portion of the Family Mission Statement.
The pouring of the sand was pretty, but what was the point again?
A big surprise was all the children giving their parents a short description of what it means to be their children, with the elder teens presenting the parents with a bunch of white roses.
Thank goodness the presentation of the Robyn's S&M leather bracelets to the bonus children and parents was brief...but here's Hunter wearing his.
Most of the manly Brown men (including Kody who kept yelling orders) were available to help plant the Brown Family Tree.
It was amazing to see how tall Garrison and Paedon have grown. Gabriel was still kind of short, though.
And that was the celebration of commitment, the Kody Brown Family way. Here's a picture of Christine (who thankfully took off that dress she had on) boogying the night away.
I would have included a picture of Kody dancing, but I believe it's illegal in 15 states and Canada. Here's a family portrait instead.
That's the end, my friends...Do you think there will be another season? What are your thoughts?
