Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Sister Wives Recap: Mother-In-Law Invasion S06Ep12



Will wonders never cease?

Not only has the new season of Sister Wives started only 3 months after the mid-season finale, episode 12 was  available on Amazon Instant Video within 24 hours of the broadcast on TLC!

Unfortunately, that's where the wonders cease.

If last nights episode titled "Mother-In-Law Invasion" is any indication of how the remaining episodes are going to play out, the audience is in for a long, boring, predictable ride.

But First...

I just want to say to the producers of Sister Wives - It is time to cut the apron strings to Big Love. OK, so the fictional Bill Henrickson died on the series finale,  Kody's random musing that if he should die, would his separate families survive as a family was ludicrous. Come on, anyone can see the only reasons those four women are staying together as a family are:
  1. Each wife has a McMansion in a semi private Plyg-de-sac.
  2. The reality show is their main source of income, and they spend money like there's no tomorrow (Four overpriced McMansions, anyone?).
None of Kody's wives compare to Barb, Margene or Nicki and Kody is no match for Bill. So enough already. And another thing. My leaving Kody off this list was intentional. The women are better off without him and he knows it. So please, no more references to Big Love...thank you!

Let's move forward, shall we?



Once the producers got past the gratuitous "Let's show Kody RUNNING from house to house" moment, and the "Let's have Christine say how she expected how her life would be magically better once they moved into the cul-de-sac" moment, we were blessed with the obligatory recap of the mid-season finale - just in case anyone missed it.



So imagine my surprise when Christine mentioned the wives and Kody would be having a " major financial conversation..." concerning their children's college education.

Say WHUT??? Are the Browns finally showing some financial commonsense?? Has Hell frozen over??

Well, not exactly...

Kody had absolutely no clue about college costs and how families deal with them. But he was adamant that he didn't want his children (all 17 of them, mind you) taking on that kind of debt in the form of student loans. And he was able to mention concepts like debt based society, and that college graduates rarely find a job in their field of study, blah blah blah....

Naturally, Robyn stuck her nose into the fracas, because she's got her own 4 kids to worry about. She told Kody there are four sources from which to pay for a college education: money from parents, financial aid, student loans, or scholarships. Oh yes, Kody even used the "J" word, but she shot that source down by saying a college student's job is college, not a job...

For once, Kody was right. There's no reason why a college student can't work while attending college. Maybe not their freshman year, but trust me, by their sophomore year there's no reason why they couldn't.

And I think it's admirable Kody doesn't want his children saddled with student loans. They could do what many other parents of college students have done - it's called a Parent Loan for College Students. In fact, a parent loan was mentioned as one of EIGHT different ways to finance a child's college education in a recent Forbes.com article. With all the money Kody and Krew supposedly make each episode, their financial advisor should have mentioned that to them. If they have one, that is.

So let me break this down for the Browns because it looks like they need some help and being that there are soooo many Brown fans that believe these people are rolling in dough...here's a way for them to use that moola constructively rather than on vacations to Disneyland or for buying cars.

  • Allow each child $25000/year to be provided by Kody. Yes, KODY.
  • Allow each child $10000/year to be provided by the child's mother.
  • Sorry, but there is really no need for a car if attending an out of state college. Also, if they are living on campus there is no need for a car.
So applying Kody's philosophy that "Love should be multiplied and not divided" (just replace the word "Love" with the words "College costs"), here's the final bottom line:

$35000 x 4 years x 17 kids =  $2,380,000 

That's a conservative estimate for a relatively inexpensive college. If they put that money away in a trust account, it should be enough, right?

Well, maybe...

Yep, I'm a card carrying jerk!

The next segments were about Kody and his relationships with his mothers-in-law.

Good grief, Kody. Why was it even necessary to suggest that you don't like one of your mothers-in-law? And that smug look on your face...man, you are definitely an arrogant piece of work!







And what was up with the dour look on Robyn's face during the couch segments? I suppose it was because Robyn wasn't the center of attention. Poor Robyn





It was rather interesting to see that Michoacan restaurant was not featured on the show. That's a shame because their Mexican food always looked so scrumptious. I think the only thing the new restaurant served were plates and huge glasses of water.

Anyway...

The Mother's Day gift shopping segment was really uncomfortable to watch. It was so obvious that Kody's favorite wife was Robyn because the gift he chose for her was the only item that wasn't  kitschy, or a wooden sign with some dumb saying painted on it.

The sign Kody chose for Janelle was soooo awful....it said "I Kiss Better Then I Cook". Yes, it used the word 'then' instead of 'than'. Now I don't know if this was intentional, but if you see the sign saying " I Kiss Better [comma] then I Cook" it has a WHOLE different meaning.



Alice, Kody's Mom Genielle, Sheryl, Bonnie and Annie
But Janelle's mother Sheryl was right. The sign was a stupid mistake because what sisterwife wants to know how well another sisterwife kisses their husband?

I mean it's bad enough to know your husband's lips are kissing three other women's lips. Imagine the yuck factor when that is shoved in your face each time you see that sign in Janelle's house.

It reminds me of that saying Robyn used so many moons ago, what was it...oh yes, "A baby is a physical manifestation that there is an intimate relationship between a husband and wife..."

So I suppose that sign is a physical manifestation that there is an intimate relationship between Janelle and Kody. Good job, Kody for being just as insensitive as Robyn.

The scene showing Kody cooking in Meri's kitchen (and tripping the circuit breaker in the process) reminded me of my own experience on day one in my college dorm. We were all given a mimeographed (remember those?) list of what electrical items could be used at the same time without tripping the circuit breakers. We were also given a tour of where the circuit breaker box was and what to do. Which was useful when you forgot your roommate was ironing and you turned on your hair dryer. Thank goodness for the emergency lights in the hallway (yep, I tripped the entire 12th floor...my bad!)

Kody should have gone to college and lived in a dorm. For a man, he is totally useless...it took him forever to find that breaker box!!!
 

Finally, the wives and mothers-in-law and Kody had a semi round table discussion how hard it was to be a sisterwife before he handed out his gifts.

It was so sad listening to Kody's mother Genielle explaining how jealous she was when her husband took Janelle's mother Sheryl as his third wife (that's right she's #3), and then watching her cry while Kody sat stonefaced in his chair.



Frankly, Kody showed  more concern when he earlier explained how his father and Janelle's mother were spiritually married after Kody and Janelle were ADULTS.


No Kody, I never thought you and Janelle were siblings when you got married, thank you very much!





And it was even sadder when Sheryl described how she felt so out of place and unwelcomed when she married Kody's father, that  she questioned why she put herself in such a bad situation in the first place.





Which makes me wonder, if polygamy is so wonderful and fulfilling, why are those women all so sad when they talk about living in plural marriage?

Why so many tears?

And I think Christine has a lot more in common with her mother Annie than she wants to admit. Everything her mother mentioned as reasons why she left plural marriage were the same things Christine appeared to struggle with in her marriage to Kody. Maybe the producers were trying to show how Christine's situation was different from her mother's. Unfortunately, I'm not seeing the difference.


Meri's WetBar finally getting used


At least the Mother's Day brunch Kody and Kids prepared looked really good. And all the food was piled high on Meri's infamous wetbar.

Sorry, it just doesn't look like it's worth a sixth bedroom in Meri's McMansion.




The episode ended with Kody saying "...I'm hoping the direction we go with this commitment ceremony will actually take us to a place where these relationships [with his wives] want to endure for years to come...we are establishing we are one family..."

And as the music played and the credits rolled, each wife presented her Mother's Day Gift to the cameras...






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Friday, December 27, 2013

I Scour the Internet: The Sister Wives New Season Begins Sunday 12/29/13!! Edition


Hey, Welcome back everyone!

I hope your Holiday was a merry one!

OK, now down to business...

I'm gonna step up on my editorial soapbox because I saw a tweet from Robyn today that  rankled the very essence of my soul.

Is it just me, or does Robyn have a perverse need to make EVERYTHING about her?

Case in point: She tweeted this picture today to all her adoring Twitter fans...

Now on the surface, it looked like a candid photo any proud mama would take of her offspring.

But something just didn't seem right about it. For one thing, I agree with her that what Solomon was doing WAS kinda scary, and it definitely wasn't a good thing.

Is it ever a good idea to have a small toddler hanging around the kitchen, playing with appliances that can seriously injure an inattentive adult, let alone a curious 2 year old?

And of course, the fact that Robyn added "I wonder if he has been watching me this holiday season!" just showed she still believes everything revolves around her...Did she ever think maybe Solomon had been influenced by his other mamas? Oh wait, Robyn probably doesn't allow King Sol to be around his other mamas much, that's why she has enlisted the aid of yet another sister to help her around her McMansion.

But a few minutes after Robyn tweeted her picture, her sister wife Christine tweeted this picture of Truely...


Notice how Christine has placed the focus on what she values most, literacy. And look at all the books in that basket!

Who can forget this picture of Truely as a baby, "reading" a book - even if it was upside down?


And more importantly, notice how Christine has shown her fans the kind of mother she is by picturing her child as an individual rather than as a mimicking mini-me like her sisterwife Robyn has done.

Yep, it looks like Christine has won this round, hands down. And for the record Robyn, ovens are not toys!

There. I feel ever so much better.

So what else has been happening on Twitter this week?


Well, Robyn also tweeted her Christmas greetings to her fans, and made the request for fans to share with her their acts of kindness.

Sorry, but the cynic in me sees this as just another way to get ideas for next year Christmas season tweeting. Don't be too surprised if she uses some of those responses as her own next year.

Especially if this is an example of the best she could come up with for this year. Tell me Robyn, how do other people acknowledge you? With pitchforks? Or with a garland of garlic and wooden stakes?



Wife #1 Meri made sure her fans got a twittered picture of the Brown kids for Christmas!

She also included this picture of something called "candy cane pastries" that were showcased on her world famous wet bar!

But this picture sort of has me puzzled. This is the second time that dark haired bearded fellow (a Sister Wives cameraman supposedly) has appeared in a picture with Meri. The first was a picture inside her car when Meri was driving Mariah to her college in Utah. Oh, and if you rewatch the episode when Kody and Krew went Kamping, you can see him for an instant when Meri blew her stack when her bonus kids were bullying Robyn's kids.  Just file this in the things that make you go hmmm folder...

Clearly in the WTF?! folder are these tweets from darling Mariah...words cannot express the shock I experienced reading these. Please tell us your twitter account was hacked!!

So it looks like Kody has gone from shilling for that green koolaid stuff to shilling for a new, non - LIVid green packaged athletic diet supplement stuff.

I wonder how much he makes off of this new venture? Those McMansions don't pay for themselves, you know!

I'm happy that Kody has finally ditched those ill fitting wrinkled double breasted  suits of previous outings, but matching suits with Logan? Looks like they hit a two for one sale, but at least they aren't wrinkled and look like they fit.
On the subject of fashion, looks like Aspyn has her little sis Truely's number! So very cute!!


And from the twitter of Janelle:
Of COURSE I'll be there to read your tweets!! Nothing beats the Browns tweeting while watching their show...well, maybe I should say almost nothing...

I better start preparing myself now. So, remember...I Scour the Internet, so you don't have to!





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Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Breaking the Faith: Into the Unknown and Temptation S01Ep03 and 04


In episode 2, Jake made a major faux paus by 1) extracting his sister Valerie from the "crick" in broad daylight, and 2) losing recent extractee Linda in the process. Loose lips can sink ships, so our intrepid band of newly ex-FLDS were forced to flee like Kody Brown from their St George safehouse for another one in Salt Lake City, just in case Linda blurted out the "hidden" location of their safehouse to the infamous God Squad.

Next time invest in blindfolds, fellas!

Jake's "stealth" mobile in the middle of the "Crick"
It just makes me wonder...what the hell was this kid thinking? Or better yet...what the hell was this TV show's scriptwriter and director thinking?

For one thing, it didn't cross their minds that Jake's sleek black sports coupe would attract the attention of the "crick" God Squad?  Even Michael Cawley got the infamous God Squad once over when he ventured into the "crick" on Polygamy USA.

Sorry Jake but that was dum dum dum.   And Ben's really mad now because not only were they at risk of being accosted by the evil God Squad, he still hasn't got a girlfriend yet.


Hey, isn't that the God Squad over there?
So now in episode 3, our travelers have been on the road for a while and have decided to make a pit stop.

Maybe it was the embarrassment of losing Linda in the "crick" or maybe it was just bad script writing but Jake believed he was being followed by...THE GOD SQUAD!! Damn that Linda!

Inside the pit stop convenience store, Jake decided he couldn't take it any longer, jumped back into his sports coupe and drove off. Did he drive back to the "crick" to extract the missing Linda, and no-show Marie?

Who knows. But something tells me he'll be back with both Linda and Marie. At least that would give his short appearance some purpose, right?

After everyone squeezed into Ben's vehicle, the girls and the Jeffs boys hit the road again for Salt Lake. Martha mused to Ben that she hopes he has high speed driving skills because if her step-father is looking for her, he can drive over 100 miles per hour.

Sorry Martha, but you've been out of the FLDS for 2 years, so why would your step-father suddenly get the urge to come looking for you now?

Eventually, they arrive at the "safehouse". Call me cynical, but who leaves the front door of a house chocked full of expensive electronics and other toys unlocked, with only a very loud security alarm to drive intruders away?

Just like Brandi Glanville found out on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, it doesn't take long for a determined criminal to break into a house. So imagine how easy it would be to just walk through the front door, grab the expensive stuff and leave before the police can arrive to investigate.

But of course, nothing bad happens.

Once Matt figured out that he could shut off the alarm by entering that security code Carolyn Jessop gave him instead of letting it rot on that piece of paper in his pocket, everyone preceded up the stairs to claim their territory.


Martha finding out she's not FLDS top drawer from the UO princesses
Connie and Angie decided to room together because they are cousins. I have to giggle because in reality, aren't they all cousins to each other in the "crick"?

We  got an interesting lesson on the haves and the have nots that make up FLDS society from Connie and Angie. It's split between something called the United Order, and the Repentants. United Order folks get the cream, while the repentants (made up of people who don't follow the rules set by their prophet) get nothing. Oh yes, they still have to wear the prairie dresses, the "tidal wave" hairdos, ugly shoes and sacred underwear but the fathers can only have one wife and they can't shop at the co-op in town.

Bummer!

Later, we discover that although Matt and Zack's father is the reigning big man in the FLDS while Warren Jeffs cools his heels in prison, his families were allowed luxuries and freedoms that Ben's family was not. Ben mentioned that the Jeffs boys had this air of entitlement about them, and it was obvious he was jealous how they attracted babes with little effort.

Hey Ben, how about a hot LDS girl!


 I don't think many people would know how to talk to these girls...creepy
For fun, Lisa (I think she is just the extractees handler because she doesn't live in the safehouse) takes the ex-FLDSers  to chill at the local mall.

Of course, the girls wore their prairie dresses and tidal wave hair so that people could gawk at them on camera. But, to my surprise, their appearance wasn't as jolting as the gaggle of giggly casting call LDS girls that showed up.


After being treated to some yummy frozen yogurt (which princesses Angie and Connie declined to eat because milk products were forbidden by the prophet and they believe you can take the girl out of the "crick" but you will never take the United Order out of the girl). Oh yes, the princesses don't like it when people call their religion a cult, either.

Where are the girls from the "crick"?

Later on in the episode, the girls go shopping for gentile clothes and meet up with the guys to crash the Pioneer Days parade.

How ironic that their prairie outfits finally were not out of place...well, they sort of blended in the crowd....






At the parade, they met a pair of LDS missionary boys, who feigned ignorance of the FLDS. Now, I don't know if those 2 boys were really missionaries, but they sure looked  and played the part well.

Then, it happened. The unfortunate incident with the Native American man wearing an arrowhead necklace and that hot-headed Matt...you know, the guy with "issues".


Hey Zack! Stop grinning and help out your dumb a$$ bro!!
In true bully form, he flicks the man's necklace while taunting him with "Is that a arrowhead?"  This was ugly, and the man showed his displeasure by grabbing Matt's neck with one hand and not letting go.

Now it was obvious this was staged, because Matt had this stupid grin on his face the entire time. I only wish it wasn't and that a$$hole Matt turned blue and fainted into a heap on the ground. I'm starting to think maybe the FLDS was doing their community a favor by expelling a bad seed from their midst.

Anyway, after being lectured by another Native American to never touch another man's necklace, especially if he's about 50 pounds heavier than you, Matt showed a little remorse by saying he didn't understand Native American culture and would never do that again.

And if you believe that, I've got some land I'd like to sell you...



At the beginning of episode 4, we found out that United Order princess Connie hadn't seen her boyfriend Cody since he left the "crick". Now that she's out of the "crick"  too, she arranged to see him again.

Now, Ben was skeptical of Cody. Even Matt thought that if Cody cared about Connie he would have gotten her out of the "crick" himself, right? Zack thinks Cody is a womanizing jerk, and he may be right.

...will you still love me, tomorrow?
On their date, Cody is all smarmy smiles and kisses. And it's not surprising when he admits to Connie she's the fourth date he's been on since he left her in the crick. A normal girl would have thought better of the situation, but not sweet, UO princess Connie. Nope, she acts like it's normal for her man to be dating 3 other girls. Maybe in the crick, but in the real world she's opening herself up for disappointment. Let's just hope she can at least keep her virtue intact.


Boys will be boys...even in Salt Lake
Back at the safehouse, the group decides to go a bar. Now, this was just stupid. If those women aren't comfortable wearing "gentile" clothes, how the heck are they going to handle the weirdos that frequent bars...especially one located in of all places Salt Lake City, dressed like they just got off the plyg bus from the "crick".

These girls need to try harder if they want to blend in their new environment. Take it from me, weird attracts weird.

Valerie got so spooked by the bar patrons she ran out. She didn't get home until 4:00AM, so like, where had she been? Val refused to tell.

Something that was weird about the whole Val situation was not her disappearing (after all, she probably just took a quiet walk for a couple of hours, right?) but it was Ben, Matt, Zack and Angie waiting for her IN THE FRIGGIN' DARK! And then when she walked through the door and started up the stairs, Ben turned on the lights and asked her where she'd been.

Creepy...

If I were Val, I would probably act just like she did, and tell Ben to mind his own business. I don't care if he feels she's like a sister, the point is, she isn't and she has the right to privacy.

Ben needs to find himself a woman. Unfortunately, Matt's only looking out for himself.


Two  of the LDS girls ventured over to the safehouse to see Zack. Well, Zack wasn't home, but Matt invited them in. Nothing happened, but later in the episode,  Matt invited Molly to come back, and they were shown making their way up the stairs while her girl friend/chaperone chatted downstairs with Ben about his lack of "game".



And I don't think Matt was showing Molly his car collection. I just hope someone had on their secret underwear for protection.

Later, Matt was more than happy to explain to the princesses why bikes were banned from the "crick". It was kind of funny watching Angie riding a bike while making a weird face...and she reported that she didn't have an orgasm, either.


Something tells me Matt has a lot in common with his sex crazed Uncle Warren besides sharing the same last name.

Finally, Zack and Ben ventured over to a private investigator's office to see if he could find Zack's missing mother. Apparently she was relocated by the FLDS hierarchy for giving her apostate son his clothes.

The PI had some information, which gave Zack some hope he will find her someday, but that hopeful feeling was dashed when he got back to the safehouse.

 
It seems Matt was highly agitated that Zack didn't tell him he was looking for his mother. Matt was also upset that Zack chose to take Ben with him to see the PI. Again, Matt showed his out of control wild side by shoving Ben while yelling at the top of his lungs.

Of course, we won't find out if Matt actually hit Ben until the next episode...I'm hoping Ben wipes  up the street with his sorry a$$.


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Tuesday, December 17, 2013

The Effects of US District Judge Clark Waddoups Ruling - Trib Talk: What Now for Utah Polygamous Communities


I've held off publishing about Judge Waddoups ruling - mainly because I wanted the most informative discussion that looked at both sides of the landmark polygamy ruling without being judgmental or one-sided for or against polygamy.

This webcast from the Salt Lake City Tribune moderated by Jennifer Napier-Pearce, met my criteria.

The participants were:
  • Jim Dalrymple, a reporter from the Salt Lake City Tribune
  • Sarah Barringer Gordon, a professor of Law and History
  • Nathan Oman, a law professor from William and Mary Law School
  • Stewart Gollan, a civil rights attorney
It was an interesting and informative discussion of the Brown family lawsuit and Judge Waddoups ruling that some say has decriminalized polygamy in Utah.


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Friday, December 13, 2013

I Scour the Internet: The Friday the Thirteenth Edition 12/13/13

Well, halfway through the month of December (and only 12 days til Christmas...YAY!!) we've seen the announcement of  the new season of Sister Wives, read about another polygamist family welcoming the birth of its newest family member (sorry King Sol but it has been 2 years!), and suffered through the Browns sudden realization that twitter is really good for advertising their online store...over and over and over again, especially when the last day to place an order for Christmas delivery will be 12/15/13.

What can I say? Those McMansions aren't going to pay for themselves once the TLC gravy spaceship docks at the space station for the last time.

So let's get started, shall we?

First up: I just checked out the TLC website...which is an absolute pain to maneuver through...anyway, it appears that there is a date for Flora Jessop's new reality show, Escaping the Prophet.

The show will premiere on January 7th, 2014. That's a Tuesday for those who need to adjust their DVRs to avoid any conflicts. Anyway, according to TLC's short news blurb, Ms Jessop will be accompanied by Brandon (yet another nephew of Warren Jeffs) in her extractions of those trying to flee the FLDS in Short Creek (you know, Hildale/Colorado City). 

Here's a link to TLC if you want to read the short yet sweet article: Escaping the Prophet

So which polygamist family welcomed a bundle of joy this week?

It definitely wasn't the Browns, who have fallen behind in the race for birthing babies.

Nope, it was none other than the Dargers!!! Even Kody Brown took time to tweet congratulations to the proud parents.

Anyway, earlier this week, the tweets sounded as if Vicki was ready for delivery - but her baby wanted to stay just a little longer...

But not to worry, the little one finally arrived safely, hopefully after the midwife came back...

Congrats to the Dargers...I hope Robyn's ready not only to get pregnant in 2014, but to deliver twins - with Kody cutting the umbilical with his teeth (on camera, of course).

But lets not forget this is Christmas, and the Browns are out to maximize their Christmas MSWC profits this year....even if it means hawking autographed copies of a two year old book. Meri even got Mariah in on the act!


I wonder how long it will be before the Browns start selling their autographs for $20?
Anyway, looks like Robyn's got her tree up already, but something is missing...



Poor Robyn, must not have been her night with Kody!


Does anyone else find this tweet from Mariah a little strange?


And here's Janelle making sure everyone knows when the new season starts...
Finally, Christine shares a Brown family tradition with her twitter followers...


So that's all the fun for now. And remember, I Scour the Internet so you don't have to!!




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Thursday, December 5, 2013

Review: Breaking the Faith S01Ep01 and 02

Episodes: Keep Sweet and On the Run


A wall of FLDS sacred undergarments
OK, I just going to say this: I like this show.

I don't love this show, like those rabid Brown family fans love TLCs Sister Wives show. But, contrary to those equally rabid anti-polygamy activists who believe polygamy is the root of all evil (as personified by Warren Jeffs and to a lesser extent, Kody Brown), I  don't hate this show.

I just don't.

As entertainment, in my opinion, it is one of the better reality show on TV nowadays. It certainly is better than TLC's scripted trailor park mess "Welcome to Myrtle Manor", and in some respects, better (at least visually) to TLC's own polygamy side show Sister Wives. And the producers are careful to note at the beginning of each episode that scenes were recreated for dramatic purposes.

Too bad Sister Wive's production company didn't post a disclaimer like that, particularly when Kody and family supposedly had to sneak out of Utah like thieves in the night for the safety of a cul-de-sac with four McMansions in Las Vegas.

But understand that if this show is cancelled next week, I wouldn't lose sleep about it.

For the most part, the two episodes of Breaking the Faith highlighted the beauty of the St. George, Short Creek area of Southern Utah. The camera work of the scenery, especially of Angie as she takes a 'swim' in a large body of water (I believe it's called the Reservoir on Google Map) is beautiful - almost as good as John Boorman's Lady of the Lake from his movie Excalibur.

Except we see the full 'lady' as she slowly sinks, fully dressed in a plyg dress with plyg hair, into the water, with the mountains illuminated by the setting sun looming behind her.

Where Breaking the Faith lets me down (and the audience) is how it tells the story of women being  "extracted" from the polygamous community, like so many bad teeth in the middle of the night.

This is where the re-enactment takes over from the real truth as these women apparently left the FLDS at least two years earlier. But instead of the show's producers having the girl's tell their stories (like the men were allowed to) the audience is subjected to dramatized recreations.

So all those scenes showing the girls praying in solitude, slipping notes to the "Lost Boys" extraction team, doing laundry, cleaning the house with only their right hand, running away in the dead of night, with the girl's supposed hidden camera lighting their way and their faces for the benefit of the God Squad were all fake.

 I also found troubling  the apparent over preoccupation with sex (mostly talks about blowjobs and masturbation) of the young men that made up the extraction team. Especially since these apparently were the reasons for their being turned out of the community. One of them even said if getting a blowjob meant burning in hell, he'd rather burn in hell. Nice...

It's enough that the audience knows (or should know, dammit...read a book!) how perverse Warren Jeffs was when he was making wives out of 12 year old girls, but was it necessary to hear the sexual transgressions of the Lost Boys extraction team?

Maybe the FLDS bishops should have told the boys too much preoccupation with sex before marriage could make them go blind, or grow hair on their palms. It works in the monogamist world, doesn't it?

Anyway, once the girls got settled into the safehouse, they went to the  kitchen refrigerator and cupboards and cleaned them out of every bit of banned foodstuffs it contained. About $200 worth.

When that little chore was completed, the next item on the agenda was to actively shun none other than Carolyn Jessop who escaped Short Creek a decade earlier and was the "house mother" at the safe house. In what was truly bad acting, the girls were so fearful of her, they refused to look at Jessop as she tried to talk to them.

I just hope the producers will enroll those girls in acting classes because all that faux crying was really ridiculous. I mean, really, here's Carolyn Jessop whose testimony sent her father to prison, and Linda can't even muster up a measly tear or two?

Finally, a member of the extraction team named Jake decided to do an "extraction" on his own to get his sister Val out of Short Creek. So he leaves in BROAD DAYLIGHT and takes with him Linda (you know, the girl with the lazy tear ducts) so she can say goodbye to her sister who was born with no bladder and kidneys.

Of course, this little venture ends disastrously with the successful extraction of the Jake's sister, but the unfortunate re-insertion of Linda back into Short Creek plygdom as she disappeared from the car without a trace.

As the episode draws to a close, the remaining girls plus the new one along with the extraction team quickly gather their belongings and are off to another safe house located somewhere in Salt Lake City.

I am totally hooked on this show. Will they make it to Salt Lake? Will the God Squad raid Carolyn Jessop's safe house in St. George? Will Ben get another blow job soon?

Stay tuned....








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Friday, November 29, 2013

I Scour the Internet: The Black Friday Edition 11/28/13



Now that Thanksgiving Day has come and gone and the Christmas season is now upon us, I bet you all are wondering how the Brown's spent their Thanksgiving week, aren't you?

Well, let me tell you, you won't be disappointed.

I must say, though, that the Browns buying those four McMansions, each with it's own cavernous great room, makes seating a collective family of 21 family members (well 22 if you count the youthful Master Solomon) and assorted other family members and guests that much easier.

For goodness sakes, it looks like you could land a 747 on that table. But I'm left wondering why they chose to hold their first cul-de-sac Thanksgiving inside, instead of outside?

Enough wondering! Let's get to it, shall we?

Looks like Janelle knows how to spend Thanksgiving with her family unit, just like the rest of us!

Even Christine describes for us what makes for a happy Thanksgiving for her:

Yeah, I can understand Christine's enthusiasm for the male cloggers. Can you just imagine Kody klogging his way from one McMansion to the next,  with his Kodettes, klogging in place, waiting patiently for their turn at him?

You know, once the TLC gig ends, Kody and his Klogging Kodettes could work as klogging greeters at a Vegas hotel. But to be truthful, if I saw that motley krew klogging away in front of a hotel, I'd ask my driver to just keep driving, while I take candid photos of the finally working Brown klan. That should be worth something on Ebay, right?

But I digress...

I suppose to prove that a) he spends quality time with Hunter and b) he even grocery shops like every other husband on Thanksgiving Eve, Kody tweeted this:

Now am I the only one out in the real world that wonders why he didn't use the plural 'lists' so that cynics like me wouldn't think the list only came from one of his wives?

But it appears that at least 2 other of Kody's Kodettes prepared part of their Thanksgiving feast.

Meri tweeted:
And the wonderful and pure Robyn had to one up her sisterwives that her recipes were not only secret, they were smelly, too:

Of course, Robyn has to show off her recently found business acumen. Which might explain why she's often a day late and a dollar short when it comes to her holiday offerings in that "retail business" that she owns:
Well, you got to hand it to old Robyn;  it didn't take long for her to drive home the fact that the online store was her idea and belongs to her. I would think, however, she would have been smart enough not to alienate her "sister wives".

At least not on twitter...

So what did that long table look like?

From Janelle, we get a glimpse of how long the table was, and how BIG the Great Room of one of the McMansions is:
Of course, Kody provided a pic of mostly everyone seated at his table:
I was impressed...but I'm sure other reality show families (well, maybe not that Baby Hoo Haw family) could give the Browns a run for their reality show money.

Wait a minute, something is missing from this table (besides a couple of kids). WHERE'S THE GREEN COOLAID DRINK???? Or has it been replaced by the more 'natural' color orange drink?

And why does Logan look like he's channeling Zoolander?

And finally, let's not forget that Kody is a 'salesman'. See how he implores the customers of his mother's caramels to buy more and more!


That's all for now, and remember...

I Scour the Internet, so YOU don't Have to !!!















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Thursday, November 21, 2013

UPR: Growing up in Polygamy and Colorado City/ Activists for Polygamy: We are not Victims

Photo credit STORYCORPS/UTAH PUBLIC RADIO
Here's an interesting gem featuring Uncle Art Hammon...being interviewed by his brother Alma Hammon!

There isn't much of a resemblance between the two, except for those remarkable Hammon eyebrows!

Anyway, the article does provide a background story about life as a polygamist through the personal experiences of Art Hammon. There is also an accompanying five minute audio of the interview, too.


Here's the link: Utah Public Radio: Growing up in Polygamy and Colorado City



Photo credit STORYCORPS/UTAH PUBLIC RADIO
There's also an interview with Marlyne and Priscilla Hammon, who just happen to be sisters living the polygamous lifestyle.

Yes, they both share the same married name "Hammon" but unlike the Dargers, one sister is married to Art while the other is married to his brother Alma.

The sisters are both members of  CPAC (the Centennial Park Action Committee) and were seen recently on Polygamy, USA.



Here's the link: Activists for Polygamy: We are not Victims

Many thanks to The Principle - Politics R Us blog for this information!
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Monday, November 18, 2013

I Scour the Internet: The Pre-Thanksgiving Edition for 11/19/13

Hey Everybody!

I can't believe it's almost Thanksgiving (next Thursday), but it's also only a few more days until the premiere of TLC's newest polygamy centered reality show, Breaking the Faith.

Too bad I'm not feeling this show will be any different from the less than realistic (but apparently very popular) Breaking Amish reality show.

I mean, how can it be different when the show's executive producers AND the production company are responsible for not only foisting the original Breaking Amish show (and it's subsequent sojourns to Los Angeles and Sarasota FL) on cable viewers, but is also responsible for that  Amish Mafia reality show. Why break from tradition?

All right, I do admit I watched both Breaking Amish and a couple of episodes of the Amish Mafia show, but I swear it was only because nothing else was on, really! And besides, what can be more sexy than watching an Amish dude driving a Mercedes acting like he's some kind of benevolent  gangster Robin Hood?

But I digress...

Unfortunately, I don't foresee the FLDS version "breaking" the sad precedents set by Breaking Amish and Amish Mafia.

In fact, I think there will be a lot of recycling of former scripts from the Breaking Amish shows, except I'm gonna cry foul if there's a scene of the newly exited from FLDS cast members marveling at a cell phone, personal computer, or a Wal-Mart store. The FLDS members are fully acquainted with those items. Trust me.

Anyway, the show premieres Sunday, November 24th. The first episode is titled "Keep Sweet" and according to the guide description, the episode will be about the young women making a risky escape from their polygamous community. Funny, but as mentioned by fellow blogger at The Principle - Politics R Us, some of these women left the FLDS ages ago, so what's up with that?

Let's just keep our fingers crossed that next year TLC won't buy into a show called FLDS Mafia...


Okay, let's get back into a happy happy joy joy land with the latest tweets from our favorite polygamists, the Browns!

Now, I don't know what a Big Box Store is or what they sell (hopefully not Big Boxes) but it looks like Robyn is totally incensed.



Actually Robyn, I think for someone whose customers have resorted to leaving plaintive pleas for order assistance on your MSWC Facebook page, you have a lot of nerve questioning Big Box' customer service. Maybe the management at Big Box read the chapter from your book on how to deal with customers?

Ah....but a week earlier, Missy Robyn tweeted this, which can be seen as a foreshadowing of her hissy fit at Big Box...
Maybe you should have discussed this with a Big Box' manager instead of blasting your Twitter followers that the restrooms were a filthy mess. And you could always volunteer to clean the restrooms as a way of giving back to the community...know what I mean?

Next up, seems Meri is learning a new trade: Making edible leaves! YUMMY!!


Looks like there was a reason for Meri making those leaves. Seems the Browns hosted a party in their cul-de-sac...AND THEY DIDN'T EVEN INVITE ME!!!



I am crushed, I tell you. Absolutely, utterly CRUSHED!!!!

Even Aspyn rubbed it in, with this cute tweet picture of her sisters and a photobombing neighbor.


Now this next tweet from Kody was rather interesting...
I'm still trying to figure out what he's saying, but I think it may have been something political. That's a first...

But leave it to Kody to take time to bond with one of his teens...even if it is on the roof.

And on that note...

Everyone have a safe and wonderful Thanksgiving! And remember, I Scour the Internet, so YOU don't have to!!!














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Friday, November 8, 2013

I Scour the Internet for November 8, 2013



All right, Okay, I admit it...

I was slumming over at the Official (and blue check verified) TLC Sister Wives Facebook page when I noticed, front and center, a blurb (is that a word?) advertising TLC's newest reality show about Polygamy - Breaking the Faith (premiering November 24th).

First of all, I'm still amazed how TLC treats Sister Wives like it was some third rate reality show. I mean, really TLC, you couldn't just set up a separate fan page for Breaking the Faith (did I mention it was premiering November 24? That's in 16 days you know).

Oh darn it. Sister Wives IS a third rate reality show...my bad!

Anyway, here's the "Official" TLC Sneak Preview video for your viewing enjoyment.






Now, is it just me, or do those escapees from the bad old FLDS seem...somewhat worldly? The women's hair doesn't look high enough. And that "getaway" from the God Squad scene looked absolutely phony.

I'm getting vibes that this show will be a hybrid mix of Breaking Amish, Amish Mafia, and the mother of all re-enactment reality shows - America's Most Wanted.

And if this is any indication of the reception this new show will receive, a few comments asked TLC to bring back Sister Wives saying they do not want to watch Breaking the Faith.

OUCH!

We will find out very soon how the new show fares. To those asking when will Sister Wives be returning, hey, your guess is as good as mine, and TLC is ignoring all questions...as usual.

On the subject of Sister Wives, I saw this tweet Robyn made just before Halloween:



Why would you want show off that much of your body, indeed.

It seems Robyn's got some memory lost - maybe these pictures from previous seasons will help to refresh her dormant memory brain cells.







Remember, Modest is Hottest!!!













And finally, looks like the Browns are selling some new snuff, I mean stuff that gives you energy!

Funny, it looks just like that snuff tin my great-grandmother used.




So the question is...do you sniff it off the back of your hand, or do you eat it?

Thanks but no thanks. I'll get my energy jolt the old fashion way...anybody want some Starbucks?


Till next time, remember I Scour the Internet, so you won't have to!!



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